Posted on 11/27/2018 6:08:59 AM PST by Kaslin
Every Wednesday, the second hour of my national radio show is the "Male/Female Hour." A few weeks ago, a woman named Jennifer called in. For reasons of space, I have somewhat shortened her comments. Every young woman should read them. This is precisely what she said:
"Dennis, I want to get right to it. I'm 50 years old with four college degrees. I was raised by a feminist mother with no father in the home. My mother told me get an education to the maximum level so that you can get out in the world, make a lot of money. And that's the path I followed. I make adequate money. I don't make a ton of money. But I do make enough to support my own household.
"I want to tell women in their 20s: Do not follow the path that I followed. You are leading yourself to a life of loneliness. All of your friends will be getting married and having children, and you're working to compete in the world, and what you're doing is competing with men. Men don't like competitors. Men want a partner. It took me until my late 40s to realize this.
"And by the time you have your own household with all your own bills, you can't get off that track, because now you've got to make the money to pay your bills. It's hard to find a partner in your late 40s to date because you also start losing self-confidence about your looks, your body. It's not the same as it was in your 20s. You try to do what you can to make your life fulfilling. I have cats and dogs. But it's lonely when you see your friends having children, going on vacations, planning the lives of their children, and you don't do anything at night but come home to your cats and dogs. I don't want other women to do what I have done."
I asked, "Was it hard for you to make this call?"
She responded: "It was. I want to be anonymous because I don't want people that I know to really know my true feelings. Because you do act like 'My career is everything. I love working.' But it's a lie on the inside for me. It's unfortunate. I didn't realize this until it's too late. I don't know if it's too late. I would like to find somebody to go on vacation with.
"You have other concerns when you get older and you live alone. Who's going to take you to your medical appointments? If something should happen to you, there's no other income there to help you. These are things you don't understand when you're in your 20s because you don't think you'll ever get old and have health problems.
"I'm stuck now because I go to work every day. I smile like I love it, but it's very painful to not plan a vacation with someone. It's painful to not have a Thanksgiving dinner with someone. You sit home alone and you do nothing. I avoid my friends now that have children because I have nothing in common with them.
"Somebody asked me the other day, 'Why did you stay single and never have kids?' There's answers: Because I was brainwashed by my mother into this. But it's hard and it's shameful to tell people, 'I don't know. I ran out of time.'
"There's not a good answer for it except 'I was programmed to get into the workforce, compete with men and make money.' Supposedly, that would be a fulfilling life. But I was told that by a feminist mother who was divorced, who hated her husband -- my father.
"She tried to steer me on what she thought was the right path, but feminism is a lie. That's what I want women to know.
"I didn't realize this until late in life. I want to tell women: Find someone in your 20s. That's when you're still very cute. That's when you're still amiable to working out problems with someone. It's harder in your 50s, when you've lived alone, to compromise with someone, to have someone in your home and every little thing about them annoys you because you're so used to being alone. It's hard to undo that, so don't do what I did. Find someone in your 20s."
I said, "I'm thinking of transcribing your call and making it a column."
"Do that, Dennis. I want to help whoever I can," she said.
FWIW, I consider myself a feminist. To my mind feminism is about equality of opportunity, NOT outcome. What’s being promulgated the last few decades is not feminism. It’s feminazism. And for women who bought into it hook, line and sinker only to have it bite them on their butts...Sigh, they have my sympathy. Hopefully the younger generations will learn from their elder sisters’ mistakes.
I get this was posted by a career woman who never had a family. But the same can be said by millions of women who DID marry and have children.
Only to divorce the husband.
Yes, there's more to a woman's life than raising children. And there's more to a man's life than studying hard and working hard to be a viable bread-winner for a family, or serving in the military and risking death to preserve our nation. But men are taught that doing so is part of their duty as men.
If our society does not, somehow, convince a sufficiently large percentage of women from the right-hand side of the Bell Curve to have kids, and a similarly large percentage of men to be providers and fathers, then our society will collapse.
Betty Friedan was a poor housewife and she worked to death doing laundry and dishes, right?
Nope!
She was well-off, had a FULL-TIME MAID, and barely ever did any housework.
“I wasn’t political, I was a completely unremarkable American housewife” —100% B.S.
She also for a time dated a communist working on the atomic bomb with Oppenheimer, at UC Berkeley.
"Settle": to marry somebody whose status is below what you think you deserve. Unspoken and unexamined is whether SHE is somebody who Prince Charming would pick as the best HE can attract.
At a company I used to work for, the boss's secretary was thoroughly gorgeous. She said she wanted to marry a wealthy CEO, and would not settle for less.
Years later, I met her again. She was 40-something, unmarried, and working as a waitress.
“Makes a very strong case that Feminism was started by barren women who did not have kids, did not want kids, or had kids and felt no maternal love for their children. Feminism is an effort to disparage love, marriage and children — an effort pushed by jealous, bitter women.”
The word you’re searching for is “Lesbians”
No, she isn’t the perfect leftist.
This woman has the ability and strength to admit that she’s wrong and that’s a rare trait, even among conservatives.
My heart goes out to her with compassion because she is facing a life which will grow more lonely with each passing year and with gratitude because she is reaching out to try to help other young women to avoid making her mistakes.
I’m 45 and just split from my wife. I’ve been with my wife since she was 17 and this is the last thing I ever wanted. I’ve never strayed. I’ve only been with her. Now I have to start over and I’m dreading it. It’s not the money. I make plenty of it and the divorce is so far amicable. It’s not physical. I work out everyday and have been told I’m decent looking. It’s that the entire dating thing is foreign to me. It makes me tired thinking about the whole dating process. I’ve also found that I kinda like being alone at home which I also find a tad scary. I don’t want to end up alone. I woke up late last night wondering how the hell at 45 do I find myself single and essentially homeless because we just sold our house. Do I join a dating app? Do I go to bars? Where do I start?
My circumstance compared to the lady in the articles circumstances are different but ultimately we are in the same place. Older and single. I understand her fear.
Get a grip on yourself man. Life is fun so enjoy your damn self and quit worrying about it.
“Older and single. I understand her fear.”
Older? Hardly!
My father in law married at 47——a younger woman,and had seven kids.
A beautiful marriage,they adored eachother.
.
Your right. I do have to get a grip on myself. Just feeling a tad overwhelmed at the moment.
Pursue your passions enjoy your freedom and start to relax and the women will show up and ruin your life again. It’s magic.
The calculus shifts decidedly in favor of males later in life since there are fewer of us. If you’ve kept yourself up, are even halfway decent looking with good income you will have absolutely no problem. Weed out the grifters and feminists though, a good prenup agreement prior to remarrying is a must. As far as meeting women, I’d suggest church or hobbies/activities that interest you, then you’re at least starting out with something in common. Forget going to bars, those are not the females you’re looking for. Same for dating apps. And don’t sweat it so hard, the world has changed and not for the better, women on the whole have gotten really messed up with feminism and a gimme attitude, but there are decent women out there, go to where they are.
I know a lot of women like this. In fact, I fairly certain that in some of the big cities, it’s the rule rather than the exception. It’s sad, they aren’t even necessarily militant feminists, they just did what they thought they were supposed to, finish your education and start a career before settling down, and then they look up and they’re over 40, never been married, nobody’s interested in them.
Don’t go to bars; I’m not even sure about cruises. I would find a community or church volunteer activity where you will meet involved, happy people. Or join a special interest club where you’ll meet someone with similar interests. If you’re religious, go to church and get involved.
It’s not scary that you enjoy being alone now and then; you’ve been through an enormous life change. But don’t let negativism close your mind to the possibilities out there.
Do something that makes YOU happy and engaged, and you’ll be a very interesting person to somebody else.
Cannot wait for that time to come.
I know a lot of women like this. In fact, I fairly certain that in some of the big cities, it’s the rule rather than the exception. It’s sad, they aren’t even necessarily militant feminists, they just did what they thought they were supposed to, finish your education and start a career before settling down, and then they look up and they’re over 40, never been married, nobody’s interested in them.
It takes a lot to proclaim you have been wrong. To want to help others not make the same mistakes as yourself. Spending your life working your tail off to make a living is something you believe will be helpful. Even if you raised children who now live far away and you are now alone for any number of reasons, it is sad.
When my two sons were growing up, my wife and I never brought one of those infernal gaming systems into the house. That's not to say they didn't pull games up on the web but we drew the line at the separate gaming platforms as they seem as addictive as crack cocaine and my observations of households that have them suggest that they have adverse results on schoolwork, discipline, attention spans, family relations, etc. I suppose you can say that about a lot of things but that's one particular area my wife and I drew a line in the sand on and both our sons grew up with no major issues and are both now out on their own and totally self-reliant.
I just think it's sad to see a grown man slumped on a couch playing those games.
Will correspond in private, I have some guidance for you.
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