Skip to comments.A Message to Young Women from a Career Woman
Posted on 11/27/2018 6:08:59 AM PST by Kaslin
Every Wednesday, the second hour of my national radio show is the "Male/Female Hour." A few weeks ago, a woman named Jennifer called in. For reasons of space, I have somewhat shortened her comments. Every young woman should read them. This is precisely what she said:
"Dennis, I want to get right to it. I'm 50 years old with four college degrees. I was raised by a feminist mother with no father in the home. My mother told me get an education to the maximum level so that you can get out in the world, make a lot of money. And that's the path I followed. I make adequate money. I don't make a ton of money. But I do make enough to support my own household.
"I want to tell women in their 20s: Do not follow the path that I followed. You are leading yourself to a life of loneliness. All of your friends will be getting married and having children, and you're working to compete in the world, and what you're doing is competing with men. Men don't like competitors. Men want a partner. It took me until my late 40s to realize this.
"And by the time you have your own household with all your own bills, you can't get off that track, because now you've got to make the money to pay your bills. It's hard to find a partner in your late 40s to date because you also start losing self-confidence about your looks, your body. It's not the same as it was in your 20s. You try to do what you can to make your life fulfilling. I have cats and dogs. But it's lonely when you see your friends having children, going on vacations, planning the lives of their children, and you don't do anything at night but come home to your cats and dogs. I don't want other women to do what I have done."
I asked, "Was it hard for you to make this call?"
She responded: "It was. I want to be anonymous because I don't want people that I know to really know my true feelings. Because you do act like 'My career is everything. I love working.' But it's a lie on the inside for me. It's unfortunate. I didn't realize this until it's too late. I don't know if it's too late. I would like to find somebody to go on vacation with.
"You have other concerns when you get older and you live alone. Who's going to take you to your medical appointments? If something should happen to you, there's no other income there to help you. These are things you don't understand when you're in your 20s because you don't think you'll ever get old and have health problems.
"I'm stuck now because I go to work every day. I smile like I love it, but it's very painful to not plan a vacation with someone. It's painful to not have a Thanksgiving dinner with someone. You sit home alone and you do nothing. I avoid my friends now that have children because I have nothing in common with them.
"Somebody asked me the other day, 'Why did you stay single and never have kids?' There's answers: Because I was brainwashed by my mother into this. But it's hard and it's shameful to tell people, 'I don't know. I ran out of time.'
"There's not a good answer for it except 'I was programmed to get into the workforce, compete with men and make money.' Supposedly, that would be a fulfilling life. But I was told that by a feminist mother who was divorced, who hated her husband -- my father.
"She tried to steer me on what she thought was the right path, but feminism is a lie. That's what I want women to know.
"I didn't realize this until late in life. I want to tell women: Find someone in your 20s. That's when you're still very cute. That's when you're still amiable to working out problems with someone. It's harder in your 50s, when you've lived alone, to compromise with someone, to have someone in your home and every little thing about them annoys you because you're so used to being alone. It's hard to undo that, so don't do what I did. Find someone in your 20s."
I said, "I'm thinking of transcribing your call and making it a column."
"Do that, Dennis. I want to help whoever I can," she said.
God designed man and woman to live together, married, and to have and raise a family. Things do not go well when we go against God’s design.
I essentially followed this path, although I have a FANTASTIC husband, but totally agree with her. Now I feel stuck working and don’t feel free. I work in a very man centric business and it’s a slog, day in and day out.
One of the best books I’ve read in the past few years has been: “Domestic Tranquility: A Brief Against Feminism” by F. Carolyn Graglia, published in 1998.
Makes a very strong case that Feminism was started by barren women who did not have kids, did not want kids, or had kids and felt no maternal love for their children. Feminism is an effort to disparage love, marriage and children — an effort pushed by jealous, bitter women.
The book covers women in the workplace before Feminism — lots of career opportunities for women — if they wanted them. But most women found their happiness as homemakers. That continued until the Feminists told the happy women that they were not happy and that they need careers to be happy. Now women have careers — and they’re miserable.
Also covers sex in detail and makes a strong case that men and women back in the “strait-laced” decades (ex. boring 1950s) actually had stronger, healthier, more satisfying sex lives than people do today with the “hook-up” culture.
Feminism has been very bad for everyone: men, children, and especially women.
While I agree with this message in general, I think it’s a mistake to suggest to young women that you must find someone while in your twenties. People can wind up just as miserable marrying the wrong person from a sense of urgency as from lifelong alone-ness.
Young women should have an ideal of the kind of person they would like, and then just let it go; live, laugh, make friends, with confidence that the right person will come along at the right time.
I didn’t meet my husband until I was in my late ‘thirties. Nobody that I met and fell in love with prior to that could have made me as happy as he has done. There were moments when I was lonely and wondered if I’d ever find him; but in general I had been raised to have many passionate interests and to believe in myself; and those years alone were filled with interesting pursuits and experiences that led to a lot of self-development.
One is responsible for one’s own choices and path.
Sorry, but that’s inescapable. The people you claimed programmed you are long gone, and the helm is in your own hands now. Steer as you will.
Once, American education and parents taught self-reliance and self-determination, along with self-control.
There were (and still are) actual Right and Wrong, and all things are NOT flexible and situationally relative.
“The Code Of The West” still applies, and ultimately always will.
I fell sad for this lady, and I hope she sees there are still fresh options and new paths, even if a few have been cut off by too many passed years.
She can still choose to be happy.
Go on a singles cruise for middle agers. They exist. You’ll find someone to share your life with, and make each other happy.
There is NO amount of money that could keep me working, you can't put a price on my walking my 8 YO grandson to/from school a couple of times a week.
LOL, "retirement" will become happier for me, once we complete our home remodeling projects.
If she’s smart it’ll see no action unless she gets married.
She should be HAPPY with herself. She is the PERFECT LEFTIST, making sure that she dies off, there won’t be any offspring to continue the destruction of the planet.
I know several women who constantly tell their daughters that they should plan their life on the assumption that a man will not be there, and that they had better take care of themselves.
Then they are amazed when the very thing they trained and equipped for becomes their reality.
When discussing this with one woman, I told her maybe people should be focusing on training their daughters on how to build a good relationship with a man. She looked at me like I had two heads.
This counter-instinctual programming is well into its third generation, with no end in sight. It is deeply embedded into our education system, our media, our politics, our entertainment...and it takes a young woman of great character to reject it and endure the subsequent criticism of the brainwashed majority.
Its nice that this lonely voice is saying Dont do it! but it is going to take a massive cultural revolution to overthrow entrenched feminist dogma.
The feminists sold 3 generations of Western women a lie, and turned “having it all” on its head. Women ought to marry young, have their children during their prime fertility years, and once the kids are in school, THEN go to university. Women will be older, wiser, have stability, and a better idea what they want to study...and less likely that it will be Gender Studies.
Refreshing that people can be this candid, given the ultra PC culture we have.
Only issue is that I wouldn’t say ‘men don’t like competition’, as many men are highly competitive. Competition keeps the ‘blood flowing’; keeps you sharp. Forces you to be your best (if you want to win).
What men don’t like is constantly walking on eggshells worrying: “do I treat her like a lady, or treat her like one of the boys?” Either way a guy can be setting himself up for a visit from the PC police at best, or a false #metoo allegation somewhere down the line at worst.
Agreed. But the left do attack stay at home moms. No balance there
the real message the woman misses is that she’s missing God, not a man, but the relationships come from God’s leading when you let him. No man or woman can fulfill what only God can fulfill so I agree as well.
this is exactly why the left pushes the government to take the place of God, the husband and father; it’s ALL a work of the devil.
“...barren women who did not have kids, did not want kids, or had kids and felt no maternal love for their children. Feminism is an effort to disparage love, marriage and children an effort pushed by jealous, bitter women.”
Sounds like most of the political elite in Western Europe.
That’s true, the days of treating women the same as men are now gone. They’re treated as sensitive children instead.
...front hole sees little action
Not sure about that, a 40 something divorced about 2 years friend says she has sex with 2 -3 NEW guys a WEEK
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