Posted on 11/27/2018 6:08:59 AM PST by Kaslin
Every Wednesday, the second hour of my national radio show is the "Male/Female Hour." A few weeks ago, a woman named Jennifer called in. For reasons of space, I have somewhat shortened her comments. Every young woman should read them. This is precisely what she said:
"Dennis, I want to get right to it. I'm 50 years old with four college degrees. I was raised by a feminist mother with no father in the home. My mother told me get an education to the maximum level so that you can get out in the world, make a lot of money. And that's the path I followed. I make adequate money. I don't make a ton of money. But I do make enough to support my own household.
"I want to tell women in their 20s: Do not follow the path that I followed. You are leading yourself to a life of loneliness. All of your friends will be getting married and having children, and you're working to compete in the world, and what you're doing is competing with men. Men don't like competitors. Men want a partner. It took me until my late 40s to realize this.
"And by the time you have your own household with all your own bills, you can't get off that track, because now you've got to make the money to pay your bills. It's hard to find a partner in your late 40s to date because you also start losing self-confidence about your looks, your body. It's not the same as it was in your 20s. You try to do what you can to make your life fulfilling. I have cats and dogs. But it's lonely when you see your friends having children, going on vacations, planning the lives of their children, and you don't do anything at night but come home to your cats and dogs. I don't want other women to do what I have done."
I asked, "Was it hard for you to make this call?"
She responded: "It was. I want to be anonymous because I don't want people that I know to really know my true feelings. Because you do act like 'My career is everything. I love working.' But it's a lie on the inside for me. It's unfortunate. I didn't realize this until it's too late. I don't know if it's too late. I would like to find somebody to go on vacation with.
"You have other concerns when you get older and you live alone. Who's going to take you to your medical appointments? If something should happen to you, there's no other income there to help you. These are things you don't understand when you're in your 20s because you don't think you'll ever get old and have health problems.
"I'm stuck now because I go to work every day. I smile like I love it, but it's very painful to not plan a vacation with someone. It's painful to not have a Thanksgiving dinner with someone. You sit home alone and you do nothing. I avoid my friends now that have children because I have nothing in common with them.
"Somebody asked me the other day, 'Why did you stay single and never have kids?' There's answers: Because I was brainwashed by my mother into this. But it's hard and it's shameful to tell people, 'I don't know. I ran out of time.'
"There's not a good answer for it except 'I was programmed to get into the workforce, compete with men and make money.' Supposedly, that would be a fulfilling life. But I was told that by a feminist mother who was divorced, who hated her husband -- my father.
"She tried to steer me on what she thought was the right path, but feminism is a lie. That's what I want women to know.
"I didn't realize this until late in life. I want to tell women: Find someone in your 20s. That's when you're still very cute. That's when you're still amiable to working out problems with someone. It's harder in your 50s, when you've lived alone, to compromise with someone, to have someone in your home and every little thing about them annoys you because you're so used to being alone. It's hard to undo that, so don't do what I did. Find someone in your 20s."
I said, "I'm thinking of transcribing your call and making it a column."
"Do that, Dennis. I want to help whoever I can," she said.
Find stuff that you like doing. Are there groups that get together to do stuff in your area? Make yourself available and get out there and you will find someone with commonalities. That isn’t going to happen in a bar. Church is another place if you are inclined to that persuasion. If you are not go anyway with an open mind/heart (assuming it’s a bible centered church based on basic sound doctrine).
Has she looked into OurTime.com?
I read about all the suicides of women in this older age group and wonder if the feminist lie that they bought into didn’t contribute to this phenomenon. And abortion regret.
“I reckon that most people are just about as happy as they decide to be.” — Abraham Lincoln
If it were, people wouldn't have affairs.
But it can certainly enhance happiness.
Remember, it was a generation of fully Soviet-educated young people (with a LOT of help from President Reagan, Prime Minister Thatcher, and the Pope) who brought down the Soviet Union. I’m sure their destruction is brewing right under their noses, and they don’t see it.
Ahem, for me that did happen in a bar! Many times! But I live in Sodom! That may not be for everyone.
I agree with this as well. People that push marriage into their 30s (and beyond) tend to get set in their ways - used to doing their own thing - and as the woman in this article pointed out, they get too accustomed to living alone which makes it very difficult to adjust later to have somebody share your space.
I got married when I was still in my early 20s. It made me more aggressive at my job with regard to getting promoted and making more money, etc. I wouldn't have had that motivation if I was living in my mom's basement, coming and going as I please, that I can tell you. I think a lot of young men waste their potential away because of no pressure to support a household.
As for my wife and I, maybe we weren't "perfect" for each other but we made it work and we are still going strong 30+ years later.
If you have a good job and are physically fit, you are MUCH more likely to find a good replacement for the spouse, than the spouse can find a replacement for you.
Do you have friends who know single women?
Abe was very smart.
There are a lot of us in that similar boat. post your guidance
After reading the 110 posts (so far) I need to add a couple things.
1. Another big backer of feminism are unscrupulous men. Feminism is the best thing that ever happened to men who just want to get laid and not have to deal with the complications of a relationship.
Imagine, convince the women that they can be just as promiscuous as the men can be with no damage to themselves and that they don’t need a man, but they can enjoy as many of them as they want.
Easy women make loser men happy.
2. (Sorry ladies but this will be hurtful)
Women don’t like to admit it, but they do have a shelf life. If she doesn’t want to have children early, then there is slim chance that she will ever have children as the men who want children will select women who are more in their childbearing years. A woman who devotes her prime years to her career usually ends up with nothing while the good looking younger women who want kids get their man.
3. It is incredibly tough to find a mate when you are older even for guys. My wife died 13 years ago and I’ve raised my daughter alone. She just turned 18 and is going off to college next fall. Leaving me (finally) with time to find someone. Problem is that I seldom see anyone who looks good to me, and when I do find someone who looks acceptable they are either married or unacceptable in character.
I can’t imagine how hard it would be for a woman. Women are usually more forgiving for superficial things such as weight, looks etc. Man not so much.
“I live within driving distance of Eastern Europe. :)”
Outstanding!
“We will make a decision in the next year or so where I will die ... here or there.”
I have at least 2 options other than the United States. Which option I take will ultimately depend on where the United States heads...if Trump cannot stop the Left in this country, I’ll likely bail.
“It’s not the culture as much as the legal incentives. Bring a “traditional” Asian wife back to the US, and she will be just as likely to divorce-rape you as an American woman.”
I think it’s half and half. Clearly nothing is worse than American Woman who’s been through our college system, and to a somewhat lesser extent, our public school system. So a wife with traditional values brought back here is still a marked improvement over one of them, but yes, if she’s back in the ‘old country’ where she has to face her family every day after divorcing you, she’ll think really hard before taking that step.
“This woman has the ability and strength to admit that shes wrong and thats a rare trait, even among conservatives.”
Good point, I was more regurgitating the Leftist talking point on this one...
You are correct. There is no guarantee that if this woman had married and had children that she would not experience divorce and/or neglect (or financial exploitation) by her children and grandchildren. Such things happen all the time.
And you are correct too!
GMTA
Trump’s election put the skids on a thought process already working.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.