Posted on 07/24/2014 6:18:53 AM PDT by Vendome
Having ream trouble supporting an alcoholic Friend.
He's been in Hollywood business for years and literally screwed up his life.
He's spent most of the last twenty years in jail for his stupid behavior.
Likes to promise people a good time, dinner and drinks but, consistently leaves people hanging with the check.
If he's not doing that, then he's walking into restaurants, bars and hotels, then getting busted for defrauding an inn keeper.
There are drunks, lousy drunks and terrible drunks. Of course, he has to be a terrible drunk. Alters his mind and he gets verbally combative, aggressive or outright loses his mind and decides assault is going to be his nirvana.
Hell, he's been busted for so many stupid things I can't recall.
His life is not informed by rules that guide, rather it is a life of constant manipulation, scheming and adolescent thought that borders, no it is, lunacy.
He’s my best friends son and I’ve been like his older brother. Funny. No one in my family drinks, cept me. LOL
Well not until he’s gone.
He just back and is wasted, talking crap and irregular logic.
But, he’s toast.
I have a limit and boundaries.
Looks like he’s reached my bottom and he was fully aware of the consequences.
Friggin baby.
He lives in a million dollar home, in the top ten golf courses in California and it was suppose to be a place tk be safe and get straight.
Now he’s just mumbling jibberish and talking crap.
You know alchi’s ... they talk all kinds of weird Shiite.
He’s telling his Mom off and he “Can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to be micromanaged”.
I’m fine. He started in on me, with whole deflection thing and I’m “not straight up honest with him when he talks”.
Yeah, blah, blah blah.
I am not well know for poor candor.
Number one child of 5 competitors for 18 years and I don’t beat around the bush.
If time were not a moving thing,
This day of dreck would always be the same,
It’s over.
So I out my up to head,
To shield my eyes from burning day,
It’s over....
Guy is so dumb he’s talking now to his Line Director.
First thing out of mouth is “what’s wrong with you? Are yoh okay”.
So now the LP is confused and is really asking what’s going on.
Dude’s a pastor and trying to understand what’s his deal.
Now he’s tossing the guy off the project and he quicklh agreed and he’s setting upon him and attacking.
Flat out calling the guy’s integrity in to call and now he’s irrationally excited.
and he’s getting loud.
freakin dumb.
Guy is trying to talk him down and get to his rational side and this dummy is laying into this guy over a synthetic thought he’s creating.
Kaboom. This this thing just cratered...
No offense, but that relatively unknown “program” asks for an email address, to find a meeting.
That is NOT anonymous.
But there are many elements of the “recovery industry” that only take what they want, and violate other principles.
I speak from 20 years of sober 12 experience.
He’s had his butt kicked so many times it’s not funny and he’s telling on of his team members off and completely stoned irrational.
He’ll be in jail before the weekends out.
Seems like living in a gated community is his lifestyle.
Let me recommend that you rent and watch Leaving Las Vegas and get back to us then.
Poor him, no one will let him earn some coin. Well maybe they don’t want to throw money away, cause that’s what would happen. Sometimes hon, we just can’t stop people from ruining their lives.
Guy is off the rails and I’m gonna need to express this whole thing in the bitch and stitch AA.
unless you’re the one with the problem, AA isn’t for you, Al-anon is. two different organizations. one for the alcoholic, the other for those close to him.
There’s a reason I have a short hook on losers. They don’t get better, at least not when people are helping them, any form of help just encourages them to not change. Kick em out and cut em off is my motto. If they’re going to get better it’ll be on their own, put yourself in the position to find out years later.
Not everyone can be saved. Cut ties. Move on. Mourn the loss, but forget about him.
I agree with camle..you need to go to Al-anon for your own peace of mind. You’ll never change him. HE has to change himself. I went through this with a brother for 40 years. He has not changed.
If you take the alcohol out of the alcoholic all you are left with is the -ic (ick). In order for them to be willing to do the emotional work necessary to clean up that ick they must first hit bottom. That is their bottom, not yours. Some people never hit bottom.
My bottom left me a few hours from death and I think I got off easy. However, it wasn't until that point that I could understand my predicament enough to want to do something about it. It is that desire to get and stay sober is what kept me alive long enough to clean up the massive amount of ick I had accumulated.
You can not recover for your friend. He must do it for himself. Will he do it? Maybe. Will it be easy? Maybe. Is it worth it? You bet.
If you would like to talk about it privately, FReepmail me and I will give you my number or I can call you.
Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)
LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)
He’s a bitch. Always telling us he wants to be treated as “A Man”. Respect.
I think he’s gonna be analy resected.
Frickin lunatic.
I hope he doesn’t lose it and decide Mano e Mano on me.
I really don’t want to do this but, I’ll do what his Mom wants but, he’s burnt toast and probably homeless.
he is just going off on this dude and he’s yelling at the guy, conjuring all new realities.
He’s telling this guy FU! and the guy is trying to be nice.
now he put it back on my friend, tell me “your fired. I’m fine and I’ve got jobs. Let me let you go and if you want my work product I’ll send it to you”.
Let me know.
This dude is kewel. He’s just trying to calm him down and leave it friends.
he’s really great. Wish I could meet him and thank him for just great support.
Oh yeah. We know the drill. Particularly me.
I grew up with Alcoholics who are not rational and angry.
But, like losing weight because you wanna look good and feek good, you are the only one who is going to change.
“Be the light bulb”...
Yeah? PM me and I’ll get a hold of you in a bit.
Guy’s a friggin dork..
Bingo! Cut him loose and let him fail and hopefully rebound, or he will suck the life from you, and take you down as well. Enablers are not helping!!
What a shame. I see the pan handlers, we used to call them, on the corner with their sign and a plastic cup, all the time. My heart goes out to them and sometimes I give them money. I don’t know what the solution to the problem is. I hope your friend finds his way out of the woods.
He is why I don’t give them money anymore and I don’t engage in conversation.
I hear all the time “You’re one of those Harvard grads. Your life’s easy”.
Pfft! Work my ass off just so people can disrepect me.
Fortunately, I only deal in sychology and prcesses.
Eliminates misunderstandings.
My friend is going to his meeting and I fully expect the guys to just get up and walk.
I only give a street bum money if he is very old or is missing a limb. The young and or healthy ones are not getting a dime from me.
There was a guy who stood on a corner that I passed by a lot. I gave him a dollar once. Soon after he showed up with facial tattoos. I was sorry I gave him a dollar to spend at the tattoo parlor.
A short time later I see him and he has had his foot and half way up his shin removed and he has crutches, then soon, a wheelchair.
He really looked sick and then I never saw him again.
He’s dead Jim!
The guy needs an intervention, followed by detoxification.
You cannot talk sense with or to an inebriated mind.
Turning himself over to a detox would be a 1st step, and unless he is willing to do that, just try to stay clear of his wreckage, in all its forms.
Yeah, we’ve done intervention.
It’s time to call the ball.
You wanna wear big boy pants and be the lone ranger? Yippie ky Yay. Cowboy up and we don’t complain when the bulk throws us. It’s gonna happen.
It’s your response that suggests your future and hus this morning was not pretty.
I only hope be finds a place to walk it off and maybe..maybe get real with himself.
But, his Mom was able to spend Christmas, her birthday, Mothers Day and his birthday with him.
She grateful for that but, it’s back to tough love but, this time he’ll have to sail his own ship and hopefully not onto the shoals in a real live storm of his life.
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