Posted on 12/10/2013 9:05:08 AM PST by markomalley
Now, at first I thought this was a hoax But it appears it isn’t. Apparently a fellow writing into a Jihadi chat show, wants to do “martyrdom operations.” The sheikh he talked to says they’ve got a great new technique to blow up infidels. We hide explosives up your butt. There’s just one hitch. You’ve got to be repeatedly sodomized in order to be able to accommodate the explosive. So, the questioner wants to know if it is permissible for him to be regularly rogered, if doing so makes his posterior more amenable to hiding explosives. The fellow on camera, Shiite cleric Abdallah Al-Khilaf, says that even though sodomy is forbidden if it is necessary for jihad, well, then it is required. Because jihad is the highest obligation.
Now, what I find hilarious here is that it never occurs to anyone that there might be some kind of technological work-around short of repeated sodomy. You know, maybe there’s a device or a technique, something that is a little less unpleasant, inconvenient or forbidden than straight-up buggery? Nope. Gotta go with the sodomy. The Saturday Night Live skit writes itself.
Jihadi: What if we make the bomb smaller?
Sheikh: What? That’s crazy. Sodomy is the only way.
Jihadi: Couldn’t I use replica of a male, well, you know. In private like . . .
Sheikh: Shh! Let’s not even discuss it.
Jihadi: What if I’m willing to tolerate a lot of discomfort when it comes time for the martyrdom operation? I mean, it’s my choice. I am blowing myself up after all. What’s a little discomfort?
Sheikh: You’re not hearing me. This is the way it has to be. Don’t you want to murder infidels?
Ahem.
Having spent a lot of time working in Emergency Rooms, I can assure you there are other ways to get things, ummm, up there.
how many times a year would that happen? I hear it is surprisingly often
We make martyrs the old fashioned way......................
Sound like Shiite cleric Abdallah Al-Khilafs is playing for the other team...
LOL Sounds like some kind of Monty Python skit.
What do you mean I have to take it up the butt?
Yes up the butt.
Surely there must be another way.
This is the best way I assure you. In my day they used a bull.
Couple or three.
Medium sized ERs.
Well, if this moron is willing to blow his butt to smithereens, what does a little buggery matter?
Now, that’s funny...
Jihadi: What if we make the bomb smaller?
Sheikh: What? That’s crazy. Sodomy is the only way.
Jihadi: Couldn’t I use replica of a male, well, you know. In private like . . .
Sheikh: Shh! Let’s not even discuss it.
Jihadi: What if I’m willing to tolerate a lot of discomfort when it comes time for the martyrdom operation? I mean, it’s my choice. I am blowing myself up after all. What’s a little discomfort?
Sheikh: You’re not hearing me. This is the way it has to be. Don’t you want to murder infidels?
And this country continues to allow them in?
I’ve long suspected that repressed homosexuality is behind Islamic terrorism. These guys get buggered over and over again as children, and unlike molested young males around the world who grow up to become homosexuals, the Islamists have to repress it.
I would do a “/s,” but I’m not sure it is.
I've heard about "the list." One of them had "softball" as an item (this from some friends who did ER work in the past).
Hurrah for “marriage equality”!
So who’s going to bake them a cake?
If you have the stomach for it, watch Ann Barnhardt's videos on Islamic sexuality. You're pretty much on the mark.
Grumpy Old Man chimes in, “And we liked it!”
Just use a koran.
Jeff Dunham needs to put this in his next act.
I wonder if they have a designated “pitcher”?
You have all your hopeful designated martyrs lined up in their skivvies and the Imam shouts “bring in Achmed!” That would really be a tough job. But, someone’s gotta do it.
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