Homeland Security has advice for confronting mass murders: scissors (Idiots)

NY Post ^ | : 5:44 AM, January 31, 2013 | S.A. Miller

[onyx]

WASHINGTON — Is your workplace getting shot up by a crazed gunman?

No problem — just grab a pair of scissors and fight back!

That’s some of the helpful advice in a new instructional video from the Department of Homeland Security that was posted on the agency’s Web site just a month after the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut.

[Borax Queen]

I’m sick of that woman.

When you come visit me, I'll turn the tv on for you. It's 24-7 Gabby worship and has been for the past two+ years now.

Actually, it was like that even in the years before, when she was running against the mean, mean, mean R men (both of whose campaigns I worked on). Even though she was a fraud and would rent a room in the district just so she could run for office. (I know, a friend now lives in the house where she rented.)

But now, she's even more sainted. The local leftist paper even has a whole tab that you can click on, about her, daily...

[sergeantdave]

“but they have armed security to protect them!”

You must have missed the Homeland Security memo from last week. It advised employees to run and hide if confronted by armed terrorists.

[DJ MacWoW]

You’ll have to wait while I find them. I hid the shears from the kids aged 42, 37 and 27.

[DJ MacWoW]

You and onyx will enjoy this irony!

Doctors' kitchen knives ban call - BBC News

[IYAS9YAS]

Yeah, but what if he brings a rock? Better bring some paper just to be sure. (Life asymptotes to Monty Python.)

I have a 6-foot-tall wooden coat rack, a nice, sharp pair of scissors, and some tape. So, essentially, I can go at them with a long pointy stick.

[Clyde5445]

That BBC story is idiocy at its finest.

What’s next “Kitchen Knives for Dummies.”

[Bigh4u2]

“Suppose the crazed gunman has Rock? THEN WE LOSE!!!”

Not if you have SPOCK!!!

SPOCK beats everything!!

:0)

[onyx]

Right!

[onyx]

UGH. I feel sorry for you. The demonic-rats are wishing and hoping she will improve enough to run her for governor or senator, but she won’t.

I’m so sick of her and her husband. Enough!

I didn’t like her before she was shot.

[DJ MacWoW]

It is. Gun bans in Britain have unleashed violent crime. Banning knives won’t stop it. And if someone breaks in and you hit or push them, they can sue you. And win.

[onyx]

LOLOL.

[Arrowhead1952]

I think it a great idea, arm ALL Department of Homeland Security personnel with only sissors.

Better yet, arm the secret service that protects 0 bummer and his admin with scissors. These people are so dumb you couldn't cut their IQ with a scissors since it is a single digit.

[rhubarbk]

Our entire federal government proves that The Peter Principle is spot on!

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

"Hello? Ms. Napolitano? Th-th-this is Milton Waddams. I can't find m-m-my scissors. I'd prefer to use my red stapler. Yes. It's mine."

[Exit148]

“If they bring a gun to a fight, we bring scissors”!

As an aside ——not much has been said in the media about that original “gun” comment, by O, back in 08.

[Darksheare]

Go Gordon Freeman on it with my crowbar!

[SWAMPSNIPER]

They forgot the bend over and grab your ankles part!

[markoman]

Scissors are great....unless you’re on an airplane or in a federal building.

[Blue Collar Christian]

Because if we brought a knife to a gun fight we would be over reacting.

[onyx]

ROTFLOLOL.
That’s really FUNNY!