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Homeland Security has advice for confronting mass murders: scissors (Idiots)
NY Post ^ | : 5:44 AM, January 31, 2013 | S.A. Miller

Posted on 01/31/2013 4:42:41 AM PST by onyx

Edited on 01/31/2013 5:53:10 AM PST by Admin Moderator. [history]

WASHINGTON — Is your workplace getting shot up by a crazed gunman?

No problem — just grab a pair of scissors and fight back!

That’s some of the helpful advice in a new instructional video from the Department of Homeland Security that was posted on the agency’s Web site just a month after the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut.


(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...


TOPICS: Front Page News; Government; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: banglist; democrats; dhs; dhsisajoke; fudhs; guncontrol; homelandsecurity; liberallunacy; notguns; scissors; secondamendment
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To: sickoflibs
The Army has two doctrines regarding ambush ~ if you're too close to the enemy to take effective cover, then attack. If, on the other hand, you are too far away from the enemy to properly engage, withdraw AND take cover ~ or both ~ whichever is convenient.

Remember, that's an ambush.

HS is not properly portraying the doctrines and will leave people confused. And I'm not sure it's applicable at all in a multi-story building. First, you need two entrances. Secondly, know where the stairwells are. The killer comes in the front, go out the back to the nearest stairwell. Then escape. If the killer comes in the back, go out the front to the nearest stairwell. Then escape. DO NOT WAIT ON THE ELEVATOR.

If you have on high heels, get rid of them now.

Never rent office space with less than two functioning entrances.

Guns as required.

41 posted on 01/31/2013 5:18:32 AM PST by muawiyah
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To: onyx
Yeah, but what if he brings a rock? Better bring some paper just to be sure. (Life asymptotes to Monty Python.)
42 posted on 01/31/2013 5:19:03 AM PST by PlateOfShrimp
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To: onyx

Will ‘high-capacity’ desk drawers capable of holding more than 7 pairs of scissors be banned?

Time to arm ourselves with assault hedge-clippers!!


43 posted on 01/31/2013 5:22:42 AM PST by panaxanax
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To: onyx
Nobody NEEDS a pair of pointy sharp scissors.

I'm OK with legitimate scissors for the crafting sports, but there is no room for high capacity 12” shears in the workplace.

And we need to close the garage sale loophole, where just anyone off the street can grab a Fiskars 12-9653 6984 Titanium Nitride 12” Shop Shears. You don't need Titanium Nitride shears to open a packet of cocoa.

This isn't about controlling scissors, its about safety. Countless children find scissors just setting in a drawer or laying out in the open, and then they hold the upright and run with them.

44 posted on 01/31/2013 5:24:22 AM PST by SampleMan (Feral Humans are the refuse of socialism.)
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To: Lazamataz

Rotflol!

Thanks, Laz.

One for the archives.


45 posted on 01/31/2013 5:26:12 AM PST by xzins (Retired Army Chaplain and Proud of It! True supporters of our troops pray for their victory!)
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To: panaxanax

LOL. Yes, and those electric ones would be great!


46 posted on 01/31/2013 5:27:40 AM PST by onyx (FREE REPUBLIC IS HERE TO STAY! DONATE MONTHLY! IF YOU WANT ON SARAH PALIN''S PING LIST, LET ME KNOW)
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To: sickoflibs

Thanks very much! I was pinged to that, but haven’t gotten there yet.


47 posted on 01/31/2013 5:29:09 AM PST by onyx (FREE REPUBLIC IS HERE TO STAY! DONATE MONTHLY! IF YOU WANT ON SARAH PALIN''S PING LIST, LET ME KNOW)
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To: onyx

I almost forgot to mention cowbells can stop bullets in a ninja sort of way.


48 posted on 01/31/2013 5:30:45 AM PST by Clyde5445
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To: SampleMan; DJ MacWoW

ROTFLOLOL.

DJ, come see SampleMan’s comments!


49 posted on 01/31/2013 5:30:45 AM PST by onyx (FREE REPUBLIC IS HERE TO STAY! DONATE MONTHLY! IF YOU WANT ON SARAH PALIN''S PING LIST, LET ME KNOW)
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To: Clyde5445

Is that so!


50 posted on 01/31/2013 5:31:48 AM PST by onyx (FREE REPUBLIC IS HERE TO STAY! DONATE MONTHLY! IF YOU WANT ON SARAH PALIN''S PING LIST, LET ME KNOW)
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To: SampleMan

You left out the $200.00 tax stamp for full-auto electric shears.


51 posted on 01/31/2013 5:31:48 AM PST by NY.SS-Bar9 (The AR-15 is the Honda Civic of rifles)
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To: SampleMan; onyx

Dang right! And think of the carnage if left in a chair! Why Alice Johnson sat on a pair in the 30’s and never forgot it!


52 posted on 01/31/2013 5:35:42 AM PST by DJ MacWoW (My faith and politics cannot be separated)
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To: FReepers; Patriots; FRiends



These or Scissors in the Eye?



Molon Labe

Please Support Free Republic Today!!

53 posted on 01/31/2013 5:36:12 AM PST by onyx (FREE REPUBLIC IS HERE TO STAY! DONATE MONTHLY! IF YOU WANT ON SARAH PALIN''S PING LIST, LET ME KNOW)
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To: onyx

Rock

Paper

Scissors

Gun

Gun!!!!!! That sort of changes things.


54 posted on 01/31/2013 5:37:18 AM PST by TomGuy
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To: onyx

Yes thats so at least that what the farmer down the street told me. He is an expert in cowbells and what they can be used for.


55 posted on 01/31/2013 5:39:47 AM PST by Clyde5445
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To: onyx

Oleg rocks.


56 posted on 01/31/2013 5:41:23 AM PST by FreedomPoster (Islam delenda est)
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To: Clyde5445; onyx

It takes many years of practice grasshopper. Not just anyone can say “More cowbell!”.


57 posted on 01/31/2013 5:42:56 AM PST by DJ MacWoW (My faith and politics cannot be separated)
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To: Lakeshark; Darksheare; null and void

Just wow..... I’d rather use my fangs.


58 posted on 01/31/2013 5:46:27 AM PST by Borax Queen
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To: onyx
The chemical plant where I work has a safety motto that says "The relentless pursuit of an accident free work place". So with that noble goal in mind, one of the many outstanding ideas was to disallow the use of any pair of scissors that did not have the points rounded off elementary school style.

That means that I will have to stab the crazed gunman with much greater force possibly incuring an injury to my sholder...

59 posted on 01/31/2013 5:48:53 AM PST by tbpiper
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To: DJ MacWoW; onyx

Hey I ain’t no grasshopper. Those are fightin words, 50 pace with scissors just don’t trip you might impale yourself.


60 posted on 01/31/2013 5:52:31 AM PST by Clyde5445
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