Posted on 07/23/2010 8:47:03 PM PDT by vbmoneyspender
In the old days, when someone wanted you to apologize it was for something you had done to them. And the way it worked was they would ask you for an apology and you would tell them to go screw themselves. But we live in a new age where apologies are done differently. Nowadays, the way apologies work is that you demand that someone you don't personally know apologize to someone else that you don't personally know. This is another form of modern outsourcing and, as such, has become quite the rage in the more technologically sophisticated areas of the United States.
As a result, in order to keep up with the times, I am creating this Apology Thread and starting it off with my own demands for apologies from people I have never met. First, I demand that George Lucas apologize to Star Wars fans for writing and directing Stars Wars Episodes 1, 2 and 3 and that he further apologize to movie fans in general for producing Howard the Duck. Second, I demand that Norm Coleman apologize to the good people of the state of Minnesota for losing to Al Franken in the 2008 senatorial race. And because this race had national implications, Norm Coleman may want to consider expanding his apology to include the citizens of all these United States. Third, I demand that Madonna apologize to Kabbalah worshippers for joining their religion and thereby making a mockery of it.
Now that I have issued my apology demands, I would like to invite my fellow freepers to issue their own apology demands to people they don't know.
And lastly, because I don't want this post to end on a purely negative note, I would like to personally thank Mitchell Mortaza for founding the Women's Lingerie Football League. Mitchell, if you are reading this, I just want to say "Never Give Up! Never Surender!"
Bookmarking because this thread has awesome potential.
I’m sorry you feel this way.
is this sorry or what?
I know a lot of sorry people but I’ve never heard them apologize for it.
In the old days, when someone wanted you to apologize it was for something you had done to them. And the way it worked was they would ask you for an apology and you would tell them to go screw themselves.
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Why mess with tradition.
Go screw yourself.
Norm didn’t lose. He just refused to fight when Al stole it from him. Honestly, Al might hurt, but I think we’ll be able to replace him with a Rod Grams type easier than Coleman.
I am really sorry for knocking up my first wifes sister who worked at the same company i did and for stealing from the church to pay for the abortion
I want “conservatives” who either stayed home in 2008 or voted for Bob Barf to apologize. They are just as responsible for 0bummer as the idiots who voted for him.
Now, are you going to demand that I accept the apologies?
Sincerely, Paper or Plastic
Yes, I know the story behind the album - but it's no excuse.
I’m sorry... So sorry... that I was such a foo... I didn’t know that I could be so cruel... ah-ah-ah-I-yah... (apologies to Thresa Brewer I believe)
And what if that person didn't even actually commit the act he is supposed to apologize for? For instance I haven't yet gotten around to apologizing for all those slaves I never owned.
You’re sorry? Think how your sister-in-law feels. She only slept with you to prove to your wife that you weren’t gay after all. The jury’s been out on that for a long time.
Why you sorry SOB!!!!!
Don’t miss this one sweetheart!!! Ha Ha Ha!!!
I sincerely hope you are sorry for starting this thread.
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