Posted on 05/13/2009 5:59:30 AM PDT by shortstop
When you put Democrats in charge, stupid things happen.
Remember those words. Every few days you will see something on the news to remind you that they are true.
Like Cheerios.
The new Democrat-controlled Food and Drug Administration has decided that Cheerios are a drug and are under its control.
That’s one of the dominant themes of Change You Can Believe In. Control. The government takes control, you lose control. The government gets more powerful, you get less free.
Now it extends to breakfast cereal.
Having taken over General Motors, now the Democrats want to take over General Mills. At least it seems that way.
I guess you can blame it on the oats. Cheerios are made of oats. Whole-grain oats, including the soluble fiber that makes them so healthy.
See, oats contain a substance that seems to suck cholesterol out of the blood. Doctors think that’s good for you because cholesterol is bad for you – at least excess cholesterol is.
And people are worried about cholesterol. Most people over 40 know their cholesterol levels and wish they were lower. There are drugs, expensive drugs, that you can take to lower your cholesterol.
And there are oats.
Eating oats can be better for lowering your cholesterol than taking drugs.
That’s good news.
And Cheerios has put that news on the front of its box. Specifically, Cheerios claims that by eating it for a month, you can lower your cholesterol by as much as 10 percent.
And that’s not a con.
Study after study bears it out.
So Cheerios are a good thing. So are oatmeal and some other oat products.
But this is about Democrats. And while oats will clean you out, Democrats will clog you up.
Thus the letter.
The Democrat-controlled Food and Drug Administration has written General Mills saying that Cheerios behave like a drug. If taking them for a certain amount of time will lead to a specific therapeutic outcome – lower cholesterol – then that makes them a drug.
And the FDA controls drugs.
And so the FDA wants to control Cheerios.
Specifically, the Obama FDA wants General Mills – evil “Big Food” in Democratspeak – to submit an application to approve Cheerios as a drug, and an application to review and approve Cheerios’ advertising.
Cheeri-freaking-os.
Invented in 1941, sold around the world since, mostly made in Buffalo, New York, the world’s first and still most-popular cold, oat breakfast cereal is in trouble with the Obama Democrats.
And they want to see its papers.
They want to check it out. They want to approve its advertising.
Plain-old Cheerios.
It’s come to this. The preposterous and autocratic arrogance of the Democrat Saviors is bubbling over in ever more ridiculous directions.
They’ve decided that a nearly 70-year-old breakfast cereal, made from the simplest and most wholesome ingredients, is something that neither General Mills nor the American people can be trusted with.
So I’m going to start eating it.
My cholesterol’s fine, but my blood pressure’s up. I’ve got a bad case of Democrat-induced hypertension.
And my breakfast cereal is going to be a protest against the morons who think it is a drug. I’m writing a prescription for my cereal bowl.
Mark my words: When you put Democrats in charge, stupid things happen.
If you thought a SODA TAX was bad, wait’ll you get a load of this!
roooool another oat!
Just like the other oat
and passs it ooover to meeeeee
Don’t let them know that puppies can lower the risk of a heart attack or that the sun is a source of Vitamin D.
good grief!
That dyhydrous monoxide lowers the pH level to a 7 from an original 9, too!!
I mean, that Milk product is so acidic, you can use it to dilute poison, but once the Dihydrous Monoxide gets in there, you need twice as much milk for the same effect!!
“You’ve been holding onto it,
and I sure would like a hit.”
Easy Rider...
Actually, oats does not lower cholesterol in any statistically significant way. In every single, controlled study, the results were equivocal: the only way to reduce bad cholesterol is to reuce saturated fats and triglycerides and no food will do the job for you.
The song sung by “The Fraternity of Man.”
Got the copy, still a good ditty.
In that case, Cheerios will be banned as a controlled substance. They’ll have to be smuggled in from South America.
Only if ROMNEY get's the Big Boy Chair.
This really ticks me off.
I looked at the link to the story. There is no source. I believe this is a hoax.
REAL rats as large as house cats.
They unloaded the grain boats right there near the factory.
There were alot of old abandoned grain silos around there. It was not a pretty part of town. After seeing where they made cheerios , I did not eat them for years.
I tried not to get to close enough to those rats to check their cholesterol. However, they did look well fed.
We would bring the burnt cheerios home for our horses. A friend of mine raised three pigs on nothing but cheerios.
Where in Buffalo? I grew up on Grand Island.
Actually, we got a call from a CNN survey on water quality.
Heck, the federal government has virtually taken over General Motors! Why not General Mills next?
Maybe the FDA will now claim that Wheaties contains steroids, hence the “Breakfast of Champions” appeal.
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