Posted on 09/14/2008 10:22:41 AM PDT by RogerFGay
"The child support system is asking very poor people -- the fathers -- to support other very poor people --the mother and child. This has not worked and will not work, because the money just doesn’t exist.
"By pursuing these fathers with an iron fist collection policy, we turn these fathers into fugitives. This takes away the only thing the very poor father has to offer his child: his love and guidance." .... cont.
(Excerpt) Read more at mensnewsdaily.com ...
> No but all those quaint adjectives you used to describe your “mate’s” ex sure were.
(grin!) I thought it was about time to take them out for a bit of exercize: the usual ones get way too much use these days. I had to leave a few real good ones on the shelf, but they will keep for next time.
> They need him.
That is so: they won’t have a heterosexual male role model in that household anymore. The point is he cannot marry the bawd, even if he wants to — she has kicked him out and ended their marriage.
I feel very, very sorry for his kids.
Most of the waifs I know in the black community are raised by their grandmothers. Cure "black attitude" and you have a chance at successful black culture. Not gonna happen, though.
“Florida Child Support will pay the legal fees of the custodial parent for a $25 fee.”
That’s a good point. Every state I believe has a child support collections unit that will collect support for women for little or no fee. They really don’t have to pay anything up front except maybe sometimes a $25 fee. These government child support agencies have enormous power. They can really make life hell for people, and they screw up all the time and no one punishes them for it. I know, I worked as an attorney for one for a while. I was the prosecuting these cases, both in civil and criminal court.
Was that child support only or plus spousal support? Florida must have different rules on child support than Washington. Even my friend's ex-husband was required to only pay 12,000 a year in CS and he was making very good money at the time. And once he lost his job, he stopped paying. Washington state has tables that are based on both the wife's and husband's income. They top off at about 7K per month combined, and after that it's up to the judge's discretion. If I was received child support in other states, I'd get almost double what I get here.
my two oldest boys do public kintergarden and 3rd grade at a posh enclave public school in Nashville...one of two or three like that here where they bus in about 25% black ghetto kids
not one in either of my boy’s clases have daddies and like you said it’s older female relatives who do the rearing
at PTO meetings...maybe one or two guardians come out of 200 black kids
my wife and I help in proivate ways with clothing and whatnot so they don’t feel like raggedy kids in a sea of yuppie excess....but you can’t replace the home.....a few might grow up and transcend it all....it’s a long shot
He can still be there for them even if he doesn’t have full custody. He can appeal for joint custody ... physically care for them 50% of the time (or more depending on the outcome of the divorce proceedings).
There is no excuse to excuse himself from his obligations to his children just because he ex may be an ass.
I’m hearing a lot of excuses and not much talk about obligations.
BOTH parents have obligations to the children they beget, whether they are married or not. And not just financial obligations. Real time hands-on upbringing obligations as well.
Washington state conditions for using the state are that the custodial parent either has to be on government support OR the other parent has to be behind by a certain amount (I think 2 months). My ex was 6 months behind, so the state handles it now. They are actually very weak and even when he gets behind (like when he was on fully paid disability for a couple of months but his pay came from somewhere else), they would only take out an extra $40 a month for over a year to get him caught up. I think it eliminates fighting and problems. If I had to get money directly from ex, it would be a hassle every month, and I am sure I wouldn't get it consistently. Additionally, when they gave me money for something else once (an agreed-upon educational expense), they bounced a check and did a number on my account.
My 15 year-old daughter refuses to go back and live with her mother. I thought I’d still have to make “ransom payments” anyway and have been doing so. Last Friday I got a letter from Child Support Enforcement and called them back immediately. They told me that as long as the child is living with me they will not bring any enforcement or collection action against me. I was surprised to learn that. I have sent them (via fax) a letter outlining the situation as well as what supporting documentation I could from my daughter’s school acknowledging that she’s living with me, bank statements showing the payments up to date and the fact that my daughter filed an abuse complaint against her mother with Childrens’ Services on August 28th. I am hopeful that will bring me a freedom which I haven’t had in 15 years. I think that it will mean that the mother’s only option would be to try to hire an attorney to try to force a 15 year-old to live where she doesn’t want to. Even if she had the money to do so, I’ve been told she wouldn’t have much luck with that.
I was Florida...Dade, Jewish Judge, now deceased..he wa very fair to me
there was a table to determine how much based on how many children and that was how mine came to roughly 4K/month
Child support only...she remarried in Vegas on his private jet ( a timeshare) the day the divorce was final.
you can revisit CS if wages go down but legal fees ain’t cheap...I spent around 35K just on joint custody and visitation.
I went ahead and just kept paying after eldest moved in with me and after she turned 18...full rate...my lawyer said that would be cheaper than going back to court.
“...my lawyer said that would be cheaper than going back to court.”
That’s probably because your income had increased.
> He can still be there for them even if he doesn’t have full custody. He can appeal for joint custody ... physically care for them 50% of the time (or more depending on the outcome of the divorce proceedings).
I wouldn’t want to second-guess the outcome of their proceedings. If I had to guess, the harlot will make it as difficult as she possibly can for him, using his money to pay for an expensive lawyer to screw him over as best she can.
He’s a really nice bloke and from what I saw he seemed a really good dad. Can’t say I was particularly impressed with the floozy that was once his wife: she always struck me as a cheap moll, and subsequent events have proven this to be the case.
I’ve never gone thru a divorce so I wouldn’t know from first-hand experience. My mates who have invariable complain of a bias in our laws and within family court toward the female and against the male in divorce proceedings.
If that is so, then it is a dam’nable travesty and an ugly state of affairs.
I will be watching his case with interest.
I hear that. My rate was supposed to go up when my oldest turned 12 (I don't get a big amount, and I don't ever ask for anything extra from my ex, even things I should get based on the decree.) In Washington, you can petition for a change by yourself, but if the other party lawyers up, then you are in trouble. I offered to fill out the paperwork with my ex to get to a fair amount, and he told me to take him to court. Since my pay has gone up (his has, too), I am scared to death if I go to court without a lawyer, he will manage to get his lowered. It's cheaper just to go without the small boost than to get a lawyer.
my girls were Irish twins....13 months apart
by the time it would have all been settled it woulda been a fait accompli anyhow
I just kept paying the full amount until the youngest turned 18 and even after she moved in with us for about 6 months till she went back to NYC
course I still pay for schools etc...
You offer good moral advice but poor legal advice.
Let’s say I get a divorce and I am the father of two daughters. Most likely my wife’s lawyer will tell her to file abuse charges against me.
Well now I will have a restraining order against me until the abuse charges are settled in court. Let’s guess about 6 months to a year before its settled. This is assuming it was only spousal abuse and not child abuse charges.
Ex-wives don’t have to hold up their end of child visitation. they can always claim the abuse or they feel threatened. Another delay for the father.
If the father does the right thing morally and tries to visit the children during the timeframe the restaining order is in effect, he will be considered a lawbreaker in the eyes of the court. The father has now increased his chances to not have joint custody since he can’t follow the rules of the court.
Remember in the eyes of the court, they are only concerned with you fulfilling the monetary obligation. Anything else will get you into trouble and possiblity jail.
I wonder how many kids who went through messy divorcees now see their mothers for the witches they were who kept the fathers from being involved in their children’s lives.
Unfortunately, most judges (the liberal types in Indiana anyway) consider the father a cash machine, not a parent. Child support is more that what is needed to support the children. It’s more like enough to support the children, the ex and a little something extra. And if the father spends money to buy clothing, shoes and extras the ex won’t the court will not count this toward support. Basically most women use this as welfare.
Indiana judges are Oprah watching, limp wristed men who sacrificed their testicles on the alter of 60’s feminism.
if both your pay has gone up then it should even out unless one of you passes a benchmark level and the other doesn’t
all this is a lot easier when there is no acrimony or if the husband has plenty of money relatively speaking
there was plenty of acrimony from her and my husband in law even though she left me but I was fortunate to be a good earner and to have a rich dad...I’m being candid...that helped, both he and my mom are gone now but they were good as gold in this strife, it sure made all the difference.
Her old moneybags woulda killed me metaphorically. He hired this complete wanker Miami lawyer...SB initials, who was nasty as hell for no good reason. I just wanted customary settlement over the kids.
My ex wife did me a favor leaving me but it harmed the girls..bad. I don’t know that children ever get over it. Self esteem, narcissism or lack of confidence. It’s tough stuff.
Had it been up to me and things were at least civil, I would stay for the kids...if it were uncivil then you have no choice.
It’s all about doing what’s best for the children...how it turns out for the parent, even if they hate you is beside the point.
Nowadays, I have a great wife of nearly 11 years and three more children...all boys which is another topic..lol
My ex wife lives in a plain little apartment in upstate NY, growing old, not much money and drinking too much and being a slut. And it gives me no pleasure to see her like that. It disturbs our daughters and worse yet the lad she had with my ex husband in law....he got custody of the boy, it’s that bad.
/sad tale
States receive federal (pork-barrel) incentives to take as much from fathers as they can. It has nothing to do with supporting children anymore.
if both your pay has gone up then it should even out unless one of you passes a benchmark level and the other doesn’t
It's arbitrary because we are beyond the tables, and you never know what kind-of judge you are going to get. Also, when we were divorcing, he cut his work hours in half and then worked an under-the-table job to supplement his personal income. They wouldn't look at his past income and only looked at his last couple month's paychecks. (I initially had a great lawyer, and he had a surgery that went bad and medically retired right after my first hearing, leaving me with a weak replacement.) I wouldn't put that past him again. I figure it's not worth the effort. It's easier for me to work overtime, and his support just supplements our grocery money.
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