You offer good moral advice but poor legal advice.
Let’s say I get a divorce and I am the father of two daughters. Most likely my wife’s lawyer will tell her to file abuse charges against me.
Well now I will have a restraining order against me until the abuse charges are settled in court. Let’s guess about 6 months to a year before its settled. This is assuming it was only spousal abuse and not child abuse charges.
Ex-wives don’t have to hold up their end of child visitation. they can always claim the abuse or they feel threatened. Another delay for the father.
If the father does the right thing morally and tries to visit the children during the timeframe the restaining order is in effect, he will be considered a lawbreaker in the eyes of the court. The father has now increased his chances to not have joint custody since he can’t follow the rules of the court.
Remember in the eyes of the court, they are only concerned with you fulfilling the monetary obligation. Anything else will get you into trouble and possiblity jail.
I wonder how many kids who went through messy divorcees now see their mothers for the witches they were who kept the fathers from being involved in their children’s lives.
This is why I support default joint custody of children in divorce. In order to get out of it you have to supply evidence of WHY you shouldn’t be allowed to have joint custody or why your spouse shouldn’t.
The problems with the system notwithstanding. BOTH parents have an obligation to their children, period. Not just monetary, real time input.
That needs to be the default assumption in marriage, after divorce, or when there was no marriage at all.
Kids are hurting from our assumptions that dads need only supply money. And a lot of people, including many dads, buy into that assumption.
Yep, and restraining orders seem to be the preferred method. By the time you get to court for custody, the status quo is that the children live with mother and haven’t seen their father in months and if Dad is lucky, he’ll get every other weekend and alternating holidays even if he had been the primary parent during the marriage.
Also, if the mother brow beats the father into paying child support without a court order and he pays when they finally get to court he will have to pay for those months anyway because since it wasn’t court ordered it is considered a gift. I think that is horrible because you get punished for doing the right thing.
I can see why father’s would have so much bitterness. They get screwed any way they can be. Judges view them as potential child abusers while the mother’s, even the ones who have serial lovers that they bring home from bars, get a pass.