Israel unleashes 'skunk' on protests

Herald Sun ^ | 19 August 2008 | Joseph Krauss

[ncfool]

Sure beats using the Defecator! If this really works the streets will be pretty smelly. Is it legal to use such a device for crowd control? Does the Mayor and Govenor of CO have to approve or Just Howard Dean and the DNC?

Denver Police Use “Defecator” At Graduation

Denver—In what can only be referred to as a fecal disaster, Denver police were forced to use the “crap cannon”—commonly referred to as the “Defecator”—on raucous parents at the Abraham Lincoln High School graduation ceremony.

Unconfirmed reports claim that four unruly parents were the victims of a test run for the Democratic National Convention in August, attempting to celebrate their children’s graduation as they received their diploma.

“All I did,” whined Chris Davis, a 38-year old accountant, “is applaud and yell ‘congratulations’ when my son got his diploma. The next thing I know is that I’m making a mad dash for the men’s restroom, but it was too late. Somebody is going to pay for my cleaning bill!”

“This is an utter disgrace,” fired John Dankenmeyer, a 40-year old partner and attorney at Ramsey, Geney and Dankenmeyer. “I am going to sue the Denver Police and the public schools. Brooks Brother’s suits aren’t cheap!”

“I practically ruined these new pumps,” cried Shirley Calibaster, a 39-year old pharmaceutical saleswoman for the Bayer Corporation. “I had to suffer the humiliation and indignity of defecating on my self for mutter the words, ‘you go girl,’ when they handed my daughter the diploma. I will never forget that horrible night. The public schools and the Denver Police ruined a perfectly good graduation. Those pigs!”

Mayor Hickenlooper confirmed that the graduation incident was indeed a test run for the Democratic National Convention. It certainly appears that it can be used effectively to disperse unruly crowds at the convention, leaving feces lining the streets.

“You have to admit it was funny,” quipped Sergeant Jim Stanko of the Denver Police Department. “Things work far better with the ‘Defecator.’ It was amusing to see the shock and awe on the faces of the out of control parents as they grabbed their shorts while running.”

The Denver public school system had only one comment. It was that parents were warned against excessive celebration at their children’s graduation, and that they would be “prosecuted by the long arm of the law.”

Since the incident, rumors have surfaced that Rush Limbaugh might possibly have been behind the development of the “Defecator.” A spokesperson for Rush Limbaugh noted that “he, nor anyone on his staff had anything to do with the “Defecator.” As much as Rush would enjoy seeing liberals defecate on themselves, he had nothing, I repeat, nothing to do with this.”

“You know what I think,” laughed Sergeant Stanko. “I think that as much fun as I’ll have using this on Glenn Spagnuolo and Re-create 68 at the convention, I can think of five members of the Supreme Court I’d like to use it on right now. Those communists!”

From sea to shining sea, people could be defecating, simply by celebrating their own child’s graduation. It seems insignificant, but it is only a reminder that liberalism will take liberty after liberty.

[Rapscallion]

Heck yeah! Put stink all over ‘em.

[MeekOneGOP]

hahahhaaaa!

Good for them !!

- - - - - - -

At first when I saw the title, I thought it was REAL skunks. :)

[CougarGA7]

Can they do the same thing with bacon drippings?

[weegee]

[Elsie]

Why?

Have they run out of teargas?

[Elsie]

[I’m hoping it would work better than the useless compound I tried a few weeks ago, which was largely a mixture of rotten eggs and red peppers.]

And it just clogs up in the sprayer!

[Elsie]

 

 

 

Here is data you can put on address labels

 and place in public restrooms

 that use hot air machines to dry hands.

 

Press button to hear details of Obama's 

 "Plan for America"

 

[ThreePuttinDude]

You just gotta love that style

[uglybiker]

Maybe it would be useful in Denver at the upcoming Democrat convention, too!!

Won't work.

Hippies already smell like that.

[xJones]

Aussie, I don't think you have skunks in Australia. They are native only to the North American continent. A feces and urine smell would be fragrant compared to skunk stink. Those little darlings have nature's equivalent of the neutron bomb. It's terrible to be sprayed by one, and all too often innocent dogs are their victims. The most common remedy - if you REALLY love your dog - is to give it a bath in gallons of tomato juice. That sort of cuts the odor enough so that the dog stops crying, but then you both now have some degree of the 'distinctive' skunk odor left.

If unfortunately you run over a skunk in your car while driving in the country, your car will retain the most awful smell for days, no matter how many times you wash it and you'll smell it inside the car. BTW, I'm not kidding....

Of course, if the Israeli gas is anything close to real skunk smell, it's physically harmless but the nastiest thing you'll ever smell on earth and it takes a while to get rid of.

[Aussie Dasher]

That sounds pretty bad. Don’t want ‘em down here either!

[Cacique]

btt

[Convert from ECUSA]

"Run Abdul! They are attacking us with hippies!"

ROFLMAO! Excellent!

[Slings and Arrows]

That’s what I call a win-win scenario.

[Slings and Arrows]

That’s what I call a win-win scenario.

[gonzo]

Ahhhhh .......... Bump ror later read! Thanks .............. FRegards

[piasa]

and all too often innocent dogs are their victims.

How does a skunk tell an innocent dog from a guilty one?

[piasa]

Skunk is the second nastiest thing- stinkpot turtle musk is by far the worst, IMHO.

[hereIam]

Intense non-lethal. It’s been working for skunks for thousands of years. Maybe they should make it in an areosol like mace.

http://www.squidoo.com/skunk_spray