Posted on 12/19/2007 9:56:44 AM PST by PurpleMan
"...in today’s world, in which women have fought for the right to equality, alimony seems more like a kid getting an allowance from daddy and I believe it should be abolished altogether except for extremely dire circumstances where a spouse is older, cannot work at all, and for only a short term period. No man or woman should be held to being a slave to an ex-spouse after a marriage ends. That said, if we are going to have alimony laws, I believe that men and women should be held to an equal standard under the law."
(Excerpt) Read more at pajamasmedia.com ...
I agree that you’re not getting a fair shake. I’m very sorry to hear that...really.
I’m mother and father to my kids and I do a great job, if I do say so myself. So I’m told constantly, so it seems. :)
Dad is a bipolar alcoholic, I’ve raised the kids well in spite of him.
I’m going to get a part of my ex’s retirement. Along with raising the kids, he would never have made it through his barely 20 years without me. No, i’m not joking. 2 Article 15s and retired a Second Class in oh so many ways.
I raised our kids. I stayed home with them, because I was all they had. When now I can’t take the craziness and emotional abuse, should I not get assistance back on my feet? Yes I should and I’m going to.
Or perhaps that was an outdated cultural reference...don't know, don't care. But stick to the issues instead of calling me "bitter" - I'm not some divorced guy with a chip on his shoulder. Merely an outsider looking at the way men are treated in divorce courts.
Truth is, anyone looking through your posts can see a supercilious, look-down attitude towards men. That's what I was calling you on. You're obviously divorced, obviously unwanted by men - no offense, but it comes out rather clearly, not least in the way you appear as a "crazy parrot-lady", sort of like a crazy cat-lady but with birds.
Bwhwahahhhhaaa!
Careful. The prevailing view here on FR is that women are manipulative, evil witches who take men to the cleaners. Why that happens is unclear since all these divorced men are paragons of virtue, it's the women who were 100% at fault.
Get a pre nup!
Thank you!!
They get to stay home, riding the sofa and expect 65% of everything?
What do they measure their productivity by?
I’m widowed..twice,
My first hubby was electrocuted in an accident and my second was a OOC bipolar with a terminal disease and who loved me one day and hated me the next (Yep,that's BP)....that I cared for totally for almost 9 years of our 10 year marriage.
I didn’t divorce him— because what kind of person divorces a dying person? So I put up with some major abuse....Which is why I can’t stand to be around guns now even though I was raised on this farm with them. And why I have a spine made out of barbed wire where spaghetti once lay.
So when it comes to marriage and divorce.....Lets just say I feel tremendous pity for both sides....but I have insight that applies to my experience.
Now, I’m self-sufficient,
and I work as a consultant in health care,
I built my own house myself with the help of some pretty awesome family members (Brothers) that I adore and a contractor from heaven (think Bilbo Baggins with power tools).. I plan on living here until I croak....burn the sucker down around my ears.
And most of what I have
I got on my own. I even buy my own jewelery etc..never in a million years would I expect anyone else to do that for me.
There are days I don’t know how I’ll make ends meet, but as friends will tell you, the last few months I’ve been working my ass off 6 days a week to get my head above water, and finally, I’m treading instead of drowning. Again, I’ve seen women marry men they didn’t like much....out of fear of being alone, of doing without, whatever. I can’t do that because it would be wrong, and not who I am.
Crazy cat lady? Maybe-—13 ferals in the barn. Rabbits and parrots in the aviary off my kitchen, fish and a large lizard that loves it when I bring her cockroaches.....oh! And egg laying chickens. I hope to get some goats eventually and maybe a camel. Just got my grapevines planted and in the spring, I hope to put in a rose bed. The herb bed is thriving and the lotus pond is shaping up nicely.
I’m pretty much living my life the way I want....
on my own land, in the woods with my own garden and my own zoo...close enough to family and friends but not too close.
And yes, the price tag is learning accept myself and my life and never fear being alone.
Oh, and I’m a belly dance teacher..... In fact, I just got home from dancing with friends & and students at a Moroccan restaurant. And my 'just turned 18' shyest girl just lined up her first solo paying performance at a family BD party this weekend! I am SO proud! (her mom and I were ragging on her to SMILE!)
And the 73 year old granny of another student and I discovered that she is going to the church I grew up in....while we were planning our next trip to get the girls navels pierced and me to add to my back mural.
And her catching me up on the church gossip....seems the woman/saint of the church who used to glare at me anytime I spoke to her hubby ran off with the pastor.
I'm stunned....however, her ex-hubby is cute and sweet and I just might give him a call. Or her because I do understand marriage to a minister....or maybe I'll just call the both...heck, I don't know.
OK, guess you’re right, I’m the stereotypical crazy cat lady....
I am determined to try live a happy life....on my own terms.
I may be batchit crazy, old, fat, gray, bucktoothed, cross-eyed, hairy legged and ugly as sin but I am who I am :)
It’s hard to imagine, since he’d had some run ins before we met. but ...i believe in rehabilitative alimony. If I had money and he had stayed home with the kids, I say yeah, I’d give it to him.
Yep,
read post 204...
Seems I’m a NOW member and a crazy cat lady....unloved and unwanted and UGLY!!!! ~~sniffle ;)
Gee, I wish the guys would come up with more original put downs or hey, how about just discuss things!!!
Do not marry or ‘shack up’ with anyone. I was married and had one child, my wife turned out to be a psychopath and now I have to pay her $1100 dollars (after tax) money per month.
And just to make it ‘extra’ special, I cannot deduct this money on my taxes and I have no dependents. So, $1100 really equates to $1500 in actual salary.
For $1100 a month, I could hire 10 freakin’ whores ,from who knows where, to wake me up with a beautifully every freakin day...
The point is, wives are useful as long as they provide a service. If their father is the CEO or a VP or if they know a lot of people at the hospital you want...then things are good. But you still need to see your lawyer to get things straight. If you marry a waitress, you are a fool. She will eventually own the children, your house, and your paychecks...for life.
The point is that these female creatures are not all dainty and pink and subtle and beautiful and sexy and lovely and voluptuous, and lovely and beautiful and sexy and soft and beautiful...oh, wait, OK...alright
They also want money. Women want money. If you get yourself bound to them in any way, they will get what ever they can get.
There is something to be said for that... You do not pay a prostitute to have sex with you. Her pay is so that she will LEAVE when you are finished.
Silly one. Not that kind of rehabilitative. I mean the kind that will last a certain amt of time.
And not just in the USA.
In Australia, a recent case awarded a lodger a large payment from his landlady's estate. She was an older woman who allowed a young man to rent a room in her house on easy terms. Obviously, it was safer and better for her not to live alone. He was one of these perpetual student types, drifting through life.
After a few years, she died, and he put in a claim for nearly half her estate, disinheriting her brothers. The judge simply decided that she should have included in him her "testamentory bounty" when making her will. The judge conceded that the young man had made little use of his talents, but seemed to think it was the duty of his woman - who was in no way related to him - to provide for him for life. Simply because they were under the same roof!
Are we all to become hermits, in hiding from the courts?
Where are we? What are we?
What are the courts and judges?
Hm.
1. The spouses should have to add their combined incomes for their entire marriage. Let’s assume they are married five years, and one spouse earned (for simplicity) an average of $100 per year and the other earned an average of $10 per year. Then each spouse would be entitled to $55 ($110 divided by 2) a year for the next five years. Therefore, the one who earned $100 a year would owe the other $45 a year for five years.
2. The kids get split between the dad and mom. No child support, either.
I would no more let my ex have the kids (nor would they go with him) than I would push them off a cliff myself. ack!
"By leaving Mr Ye nothing … the deceased failed to provide him with adequate provision for his proper maintenance, education and advancement in life," [the judge] said.
Richard Neil, a solicitor and member of NSW Law Society's elder law and succession committee, said ... it was a warning to elderly people who shared their home and were "getting in-kind domestic help that they can't afford".... And if someone took in a friend who was down on their luck, and died while the person was living rent-free with them, their estates could be exposed.
He said elderly people either had to have a paid contract with their live-in boarder, or go to the expense of an application to the Supreme Court for the person to rescind their right to make a claim against the estate. "People need to be conscious they aren't completely at liberty to make a will in whatever terms they want," he said.
Unbelievable.
http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/boarder-in-the-spare-room-wins-450000/2006/07/07/1152240493805.html
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