I’m widowed..twice,
My first hubby was electrocuted in an accident and my second was a OOC bipolar with a terminal disease and who loved me one day and hated me the next (Yep,that's BP)....that I cared for totally for almost 9 years of our 10 year marriage.
I didn’t divorce him— because what kind of person divorces a dying person? So I put up with some major abuse....Which is why I can’t stand to be around guns now even though I was raised on this farm with them. And why I have a spine made out of barbed wire where spaghetti once lay.
So when it comes to marriage and divorce.....Lets just say I feel tremendous pity for both sides....but I have insight that applies to my experience.
Now, I’m self-sufficient,
and I work as a consultant in health care,
I built my own house myself with the help of some pretty awesome family members (Brothers) that I adore and a contractor from heaven (think Bilbo Baggins with power tools).. I plan on living here until I croak....burn the sucker down around my ears.
And most of what I have
I got on my own. I even buy my own jewelery etc..never in a million years would I expect anyone else to do that for me.
There are days I don’t know how I’ll make ends meet, but as friends will tell you, the last few months I’ve been working my ass off 6 days a week to get my head above water, and finally, I’m treading instead of drowning. Again, I’ve seen women marry men they didn’t like much....out of fear of being alone, of doing without, whatever. I can’t do that because it would be wrong, and not who I am.
Crazy cat lady? Maybe-—13 ferals in the barn. Rabbits and parrots in the aviary off my kitchen, fish and a large lizard that loves it when I bring her cockroaches.....oh! And egg laying chickens. I hope to get some goats eventually and maybe a camel. Just got my grapevines planted and in the spring, I hope to put in a rose bed. The herb bed is thriving and the lotus pond is shaping up nicely.
I’m pretty much living my life the way I want....
on my own land, in the woods with my own garden and my own zoo...close enough to family and friends but not too close.
And yes, the price tag is learning accept myself and my life and never fear being alone.
Oh, and I’m a belly dance teacher..... In fact, I just got home from dancing with friends & and students at a Moroccan restaurant. And my 'just turned 18' shyest girl just lined up her first solo paying performance at a family BD party this weekend! I am SO proud! (her mom and I were ragging on her to SMILE!)
And the 73 year old granny of another student and I discovered that she is going to the church I grew up in....while we were planning our next trip to get the girls navels pierced and me to add to my back mural.
And her catching me up on the church gossip....seems the woman/saint of the church who used to glare at me anytime I spoke to her hubby ran off with the pastor.
I'm stunned....however, her ex-hubby is cute and sweet and I just might give him a call. Or her because I do understand marriage to a minister....or maybe I'll just call the both...heck, I don't know.
OK, guess you’re right, I’m the stereotypical crazy cat lady....
I am determined to try live a happy life....on my own terms.
I may be batchit crazy, old, fat, gray, bucktoothed, cross-eyed, hairy legged and ugly as sin but I am who I am :)
LOL - great post