Posted on 10/09/2007 5:55:50 AM PDT by reaganaut1
Even now, at 81 and with her memory beginning to fade, Gloria Donadello recalls her painful brush with bigotry at an assisted-living center in Santa Fe, N.M. Sitting with those she considered friends, “people were laughing and making certain kinds of comments, and I told them, ‘Please don’t do that, because I’m gay.’”
The result of her outspokenness, Ms. Donadello said, was swift and merciless. “Everyone looked horrified,” she said. No longer included in conversation or welcome at meals, she plunged into depression. Medication did not help. With her emotional health deteriorating, Ms. Donadello moved into an adult community nearby that caters to gay men and lesbians.
“I felt like I was a pariah,” she said, settled in her new home. “For me, it was a choice between life and death.”
Elderly gay people like Ms. Donadello, living in nursing homes or assisted-living centers or receiving home care, increasingly report that they have been disrespected, shunned or mistreated in ways that range from hurtful to deadly, even leading some to commit suicide.
Some have seen their partners and friends insulted or isolated. Others live in fear of the day when they are dependent on strangers for the most personal care. That dread alone can be damaging, physically and emotionally, say geriatric doctors, psychiatrists and social workers.
(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...
Sounds like a good idea to me.
Mentally ill people "should be" housed apart from normal people.
Gee, lets see. She was born in 1926.
She thinks the ‘greatest generation’ is going to be happy to be in the company of those that generation thought for the last century were ‘deviants’?
Of course they don’t want to be around her. I can understand it completely. Its likely many of those that were ‘horrified’ had never actually known somebody that was ‘gay’ and ‘open about it’ in their lives, given the fact its a very very small percentage of the entire population.
The ‘greatest generation’ doesn’t feel the need to conform to the ‘new norm’, nor should they. Without them, its pretty clear that gays wouldn’t be ‘out’ in society today in the first place....although I serious doubt that ‘generation’ thought this was ‘why we fight’ at any time before, during or since.
All of our elderly should be treated with respect and compassion. But having federal laws mandating such is preposterous.
I don't see any evidence of "bigotry" here. I see the residents expressing their own values and rejecting a person who admitted to being a pervert. I don't know that that constitutes bigotry. In fact, I would argue that it is MORE bigoted to expect everyone around her to simply shut up and pretend that they like her even though she practices acts many consider abominable.
The result of her outspokenness perversion, Ms. Donadello said, was swift and merciless.
Fixed.
“Everyone looked horrified,
Maybe that's because they were horrified.
No longer included in conversation or welcome at meals, she plunged into depression.
Boo hoo. Maybe she should have kept her mouth shut. Better yet, maybe she should have sought to change her behavior instead of expecting everyone else to change theirs.
“I felt like I was a pariah,”
You should. You ARE.
“For me, it was a choice between life and death.”
And the winner of this year's Academy Award for Best Drama Queen in a Relativistic Setting is ...
Sorry, I don’t believe this “Gloria” persons story. Sounds like BS to me.
Sometimes tragedy results. In one nursing home, an openly gay man, without family or friends, was recently moved off his floor to quiet the protests of other residents and their families. He was given a room among patients with severe disabilities or dementia. The home called upon Amber Hollibaugh, now a senior strategist at the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and the author of the first training curriculum for nursing homes. Ms. Hollibaugh assured the 79-year-old man that a more humane solution would be found, but he hanged himself, Ms. Hollibaugh said. She was unwilling to identify the nursing home or even its East Coast city, because she still consults there, among other places.
Stories that refuse to name names and dates. I assume lies.
Whew. I thought this was another Elton John post.
I was wondering how there could even be “aged” homosexuals, considering their lifespan is so short.
But then I saw they were talking about women.
Is the urge to flaunt one's sexual preference still so strong at that age, for cryin' out loud.
If I go into some kind of senior home, I'm not gonna tell everyone I'm heterosexual the first week.
If I become an octogenarian, I'll consider myself lucky to be ex-sexual and still breathing.
Leni
I’m all for tolerance. However, I refuse to tolerate the intolerable.
And I’m not talking about the situation you outlined. If you want an example, go to Little Green Footballs, and search on “Folsom”. It’ll link you to Zombietime’s photojournalism of San Francisco’s Folsom Street Fair.
Not work safe, and not for those of weak constitution.
This article is nothing more than another attack on our right to think that homosexual behavior is perverted and disgusting, and to say so.
***********
Isn't this a better choice for her? I'm surprised she didn't find this place first.
I’d say that people have a right to associate or disassociate themselves with whomever they please. What is fair or right about coercing or forcing mostly helpless people to associate themselves with people who they consider morally repugnant?
While the lesbo has the right to live where she pleases, she has no right to pleasant company, or any company at all. None of us do.
Another thing. The NYT puts us on a slippery slope here. If gays are accepted, how about trans-gendered, pedophiles, maybe some S&M in the recreation room. And once they are accepted, don’t we need to accommodate them - we have Scrabble Night & celebrate Ramadan, how about Whips & Chains Night or Enema Night. Might want to add Gerbils to the list of approved pets! To ignore their needs wouldn’t be right, would it?
Next there will be special “rest homes” for elderly gays.
“But does that mean that when you see my dyke-looking sister and her dyke-looking partner holding hands at the Zoo with their two boys, one white and one black, you feel angry or afraid?”
I would feel neither angry nor afraid. That would not bother me one bit.
Maybe they just didn’t hear her right. She said “gray”’, not “gay”. Time to boycott the hearing impaired.
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