Posted on 03/17/2007 1:44:41 PM PDT by rface
I now know what I am going to do – But I am curious as to what other FReepers might do when faced with this situation.
What will I do?? (I know what I am going to do.)
I have a cousin whom I love, and with whom I am close. I grew up with this guy. We are both in our middle 40s. We both have gone through our teen-age years with some trouble along the way – and we both now hold good jobs. We both have done pretty well – in spite of our earlier attempts at self-destruction…..and in spite of some heavy burdens that life has thrown our way.
I was married a few months ago (my 2nd…and my last) and I invited my cousin and his “significant other” to our wedding. They flew in from Boston and my wife and I were very happy to have them here to be at our wedding.
I am very close to my cousin. I also like, and get along with, his “significant other”. My Cousin and I don’t see eye-to-eye on some things, but he did vote for Bush in 2000. And we agree on a lot of taxation and financial conservative views. He’s pretty much conservative-ish….sort of…(not that his politics has anything to do with this issue) ….except that he’s gay and he sent me a wedding invitation for me and my wife to come to the wedding in Massachusetts.
My Cousin knows where I stand on the Gay Marriage issue…. And my wife shares my view. Our views are not secretly held. We both think a Marriage is between a man and woman – but we both also think “civil unions” may be an option that Gay couples should be able to utilize.
The Question: Would you go to a family members Gay Wedding under a situation like this??
Would you go if he was about to profess his love and commit his life to a cocker spaniel?
I agree with duckman. Family's too important. Go, be gracious, and don't let them see any hint of disapproval on your part, even if you're about ready to leap out of your skin.
I kinda think I would go, and here's why:
"Family" ain't the rest of the world. They are not the media or the politicians or anybody else.
They are the ones who stand by you no matter how bad you screwed up.
And it sounds like you and this fellow are really close.
If you chose to go, you can always make it clear to him before that you're going NOT TO RECOGNIZE GAY MARRIAGE but SO THAT HE CAN REMEMBER YOU BEING THERE ON A SPECIAL DAY.
JMHO.
Since he knows where you and your wife stand on the gay issue, I would go. Love and family are more important, I believe. Let him know that you don't agree, but more importantly you love him regardless.
Yikes! Let me put it this way. If you go, imagine the company you'll be in. How does that make you feel? I don't think I could put myself in that position. Let me explain:
Homosexuality is only definable as a sexual act. Lots of men love one another. Father/son...that sort of thing. Homosexuality is crossing the lines into depravity.
The only way one knows another man is gay is if they advertise the fact.
Consider that in an office environment... If a man did the something similar to a woman who wasn't interested, sat..tell a bad joke with sexual connotations or make a pass it would be considered "Sexual Harassment".
An unwilling, non-interested man having homosexual tendencies inflicted upon him would be experiencing the exact same feelings.
Homosexuals who inflict their filth upon unwilling, non-interested individuals are openly harassing them. It's blatant sexual harassment. If it was in an office environment, you could sue and with a good lawyer...win. I'm waiting for someone to file a suit and shut office freaks down for good.
I couldn't subject myself to that. I'd react...poorly and it wouldn't be a nice experience.
So if you know the environment, and you are willing to endure what is certain to be a flaming experience then go. Just know what you will be subjected to. A lot of them aren't nice about impressing upon others their personal perversions.
If you can deal with it you've got a stronger stomach than I do.
And yes, I know several gay people. They know better than to put me into a situation like that and we can deal with other in a respectful manner. As a result I "know nothing" about their personal habits and have nothing to say about them.
You kind'a set yourself up for this.
Are you kidding me of course the food would be delightful
I would not attend. I would send a gift.
He knows how you feel and still invited you. Family is family.
I'm a firm believer in picking your battles wisely. This shouldn't be one of your battles IMO. Going doesn't imply you support gay marriage, it just implies even though you don't agree with your cousin he is still your cousin.
Someone else said it and I agree - you will regret it later if you don't.
And for what it is worth, I don't approve of gay marriage either so I have a good idea how you must feel.
I wouldn't go. If you love your cousin, let him know how you feel about his lifestyle in a way that won't damage your relationship, if that's possible.
You don't appear to be comfortable with going either or you wouldn't ask us. :-)
I vote for not going. Send a gift though.
No, any more than I would signal my approval of any other self destructive behavior.
"..but we both also think “civil unions” may be an option that Gay couples should be able to utilize."
I'd go. Wish them well. Like someone said...life is too short. I know of gays who have married females to hide their sexuality from families, friends, etc. That's despicable! At least your cousin is honest. I'll bet the wedding will be fun!
I wouldn't go
Go.
It would be hard for me to go. But I would send a card and gift.
A gay old time, no doubt.
No.. He already know how you feel about the situation.
I would respond to the invite in a kind and gentle way with a re-cap of how you feel about gay marriage. Keep it on a positive note.
I would definitely go. You have always been close to him, have obviously gone through a lot with him and seem to love him. You would not ignore his wedding if he was marrying a woman you couldn't stand. You would grin and bear it. I'm assuming his partner is probably someone you like and even if he isn't, grin and bear it. Don't hurt your cousin. You can go to the ceremony and leave the reception early. Or you can find a reason to skip the ceremony and just go to the reception. But you really need to attend one or the other or both otherwise your relationship will never be the same.
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