Posted on 11/26/2006 12:34:35 PM PST by lowbridge
CHICAGO - Malachi Ritscher envisioned his death as one full of purpose.
He carefully planned the details, mailed a copy of his apartment key to a friend, created to-do lists for his family. On his Web site, the 52-year-old experimental musician who'd fought with depression even penned his obituary.
At 6:30 a.m. on Nov. 3 — four days before an election caused a seismic shift in Washington politics — Ritscher, a frequent anti-war protester, stood by an off-ramp in downtown Chicago near a statue of a giant flame, set up a video camera, doused himself with gasoline and lit himself on fire.
Aglow for the crush of morning commuters, his flaming body was supposed to be a call to the nation, a symbol of his rage and discontent with the U.S. war in Iraq.
"Here is the statement I want to make: if I am required to pay for your barbaric war, I choose not to live in your world. I refuse to finance the mass murder of innocent civilians, who did nothing to threaten our country," he wrote in his suicide note. "... If one death can atone for anything, in any small way, to say to the world: I apologize for what we have done to you, I am ashamed for the mayhem and turmoil caused by my country."
There was only one problem: No one was listening.
It took five days for the Cook County medical examiner to identify the charred-beyond-recognition corpse. Meanwhile, Ritscher's suicide went largely unnoticed. It wasn't until a reporter for an alternative weekly, the Chicago Reader, pieced the facts together that word began to spread.
Soon, tributes — and questions — poured in to the paper's blogs.
Was this a man consumed by mental illness? Or was Ritscher a martyr driven by rage over what he saw as an unjust war? Was he a convenient symbol for an anti-war movement or was there more to his message?
"This man killed himself in such a painful way, specifically to get our attention on these things," said Jennifer Diaz, a 28-year-old graduate student who never met him but has been researching his life. Now, she is organizing protests and vigils in his name. "I'm not going to sit by and I can't sit by and let this go unheard."
Mental health experts say virtually no suicides occur without some kind of a diagnosable mental illness. But Ritscher's family disagrees about whether he had severe mental problems.
In a statement, Ritscher's parents and siblings called him an intellectually gifted man who suffered from bouts of depression. They stopped short of saying he'd ever received a clinical diagnosis of mental illness.
"He believed in his actions, however extreme they were," his younger brother, Paul Ritscher, wrote online. "He believed they could help to open eyes, ears and hearts and to show everyone that a single man's actions, by taking such extreme personal responsibility, can perhaps affect change in the world."
His son, who shares the same name as his father, said his father was trying to cope with mental illness. Suicide seemed to be the next step, and the war was a way to give his death meaning.
"He was different people at different instances and so, so erratic. I loved him no doubt, but he was a very lonely and tragic man," said Ritscher, 35, who is estranged from the rest of the family. "The idea of being a martyr I'm sure was attractive. He could literally go out in a blaze of glory."
Born in Dickinson, N.D., with the name Mark David, Ritscher dropped out of high school, married at 17 and divorced 10 years later. Eventually, he would change his name to match his son's and, coincidentally, a world-famous prophet. At the end, he worked in building maintenance and was a fixture in Chicago's experimental music scene.
He described himself as a renaissance man who'd amassed a collection of more than 2,000 musical recordings from clubs in Chicago. He was a writer, philosopher and photographer. He was an alcoholic who collected fossils, glass eyes, light bulbs and snare drums. He paid $25 to become an ordained minister with the Missionaries of the New Truth and operated a handful of Web sites protesting the Iraq war.
A member of Mensa who claimed to be able to recite the infinite number Pi to more than 1,000 decimal places, he titled his obituary "Out of Time." Friends, who seemed surprised about his death, found themselves searching for answers. Ritscher's death became even more enigmatic than his life.
Perhaps the most famous self-immolation occurred in 1963, when Buddhist monk Thich Quang Duc burned himself at a Saigon intersection in protest against the south Vietnamese regime. Another activist, Kathy Change, lit fire to herself in 1996 at the University of Pennsylvania to protest the government and the country's economic system.
Ritscher's death brought back memories for Anita King, a 48-year-old artist from West Philadelphia who was Change's best friend.
"I think both of them, they just felt like their death could be the last drop of blood shed," King said. "It was too hard for them. They had too much of a conscious connection to the struggle to go on in their lives."
In the end, only Ritscher knew the motivations for his suicide. There is little doubt, though, that he was satisfied with his choice.
"Without fear I go now to God," Ritscher wrote in the last sentence of his suicide note. "Your future is what you will choose today."
Gee...d'ya suppose?
He has a plot at Calvary Cemetery in Evanston, Illinois; and the epithet he chose is "I Dreamt That I Was Dreaming".
Ahhh... Malachi, it's epitaph. Too late to enter a correction, I guess.
Malachi Ritscher at an anti-war rally in Chicago (Photo: Joeff Davis).
"He had many acquaintances, but few friends; and wrote his own obituary, because no one else really knew him." Ritscher was a familiar face at antiwar protests, and he was arrested more than once for his involvement.
Malachi Ritscher
My actions should be self-explanatory, and since in our self-obsessed
culture words seldom match the deed, writing a mission statement would
seem questionable. So judge me by my actions. Maybe some will be scared
enough to wake from their walking dream state - am I therefore a martyr
or terrorist? I would prefer to be thought of as a ’spiritual warrior’.
Our so-called leaders are the real terrorists in the world today,
responsible for more deaths than Osama bin Laden.
I have had a wonderful life, both full and full of wonder. I have
experienced love and the joy and heartache of raising a child. I have
jumped out of an airplane, and escaped a burning building. I have spent
the night in jail, and dropped acid during the sixties. I have been
privileged to have met many supremely talented musicians and writers,
most of whom were extremely generous and gracious. Even during the hard
times, I felt charmed. Even the difficult lessons have been like
blessed gifts. When I hear about our young men and women who are sent
off to war in the name of God and Country, and who give up their lives
for no rational cause at all, my heart is crushed. What has happened to
my country? we have become worse than the imagined enemy - killing
civilians and calling it ‘collateral damage’, torturing and trampling
human rights inside and outside our own borders, violating our own
Constitution whenever it seems convenient, lying and stealing right and
left, more concerned with sports on television and ring-tones on
cell-phones than the future of the world…. half the population is
taking medication because they cannot face the daily stress of living
in the richest nation in the world.
I too love God and Country, and feel called upon to serve. I can only
hope my sacrifice is worth more than those brave lives thrown away when
we attacked an Arab nation under the deception of ‘Weapons of Mass
Destruction’. Our interference completely destroyed that country, and
destabilized the entire region. Everyone who pays taxes has blood on
their hands.
I have had one previous opportunity to serve my country in a meaningful
way - at 8:05 one morning in 2002 I passed Donald Rumsfeld on Delaware
Avenue and I was acutely aware that slashing his throat would spare the
lives of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of innocent people. I
had a knife clenched in my hand, and there were no bodyguards visible;
to my deep shame I hesitated, and the moment was past.
The violent turmoil initiated by the United States military invasion of
Iraq will beget future centuries of slaughter, if the human race lasts
that long. First we spit on the United Nations, then we expect them to
clean up our mess. Our elected representatives are supposed to find
diplomatic and benevolent solutions to these situations. Anyone can
lash out and retaliate, that is not leadership or vision. Where is the
wisdom and honor of the people we delegate our trust to?
To the rest of the world we are cowards - demanding Iraq to disarm, and
after they comply, we attack with remote-control high-tech video-game
weapons. And then lie about our reasons for invading. We the people
bear complete responsibility for all that will follow, and it won’t be
pretty.
It is strange that most if not all of this destruction is instigated by
people who claim to believe in God, or Allah. Many sane people turn
away from religion, faced with the insanity of the ‘true believers’.
There is a lot of confusion: many people think that God is like Santa
Claus, rewarding good little girls with presents and punishing bad
little boys with lumps of coal; actually God functions more like the
Easter Bunny, hiding surprises in plain sight. God does not choose the
Lottery numbers, God does not make the weather, God does not endorse
military actions by the self-righteous, God does not sit on a cloud
listening to your prayers for prosperity. God does not smite anybody.
If God watches the sparrow fall, you notice that it continues to drop,
even to its death. Face the truth folks, God doesn’t care, that’s not
what God is or does. If the human race drives itself to extinction, God
will be there for another couple million years, ‘watching’ as a new
species rises and falls to replace us. It is time to let go of
primitive and magical beliefs, and enter the age of personal
responsibility. Not telling others what is right for them, but making
our own choices, and accepting consequences.
“Who would Jesus bomb?” This question is primarily addressing a
Christian audience, but the same issues face the Muslims and the Jews:
God’s message is tolerance and love, not self-righteousness and hatred.
Please consider “Thou shalt not kill” and “As ye sow, so shall ye
reap”. Not a lot of ambiguity there.
What is God? God is the force of life - the spark of creation. We each
carry it within us, we share it with each other. Whether we are
conscious of the life-force is a choice we make, every minute of every
day. If you choose to ignore it, nothing will happen - you are just
‘less conscious’. Maybe you are less happy (maybe not). Maybe you grow
able to tap into the universal force, and increase the creativity in
the universe. Love is anti-entropy. Please notice that ‘conscious’ and
‘conscience’ are related concepts.
Why God - what is the value? Whether committee consensus of a
benevolent power that works through humans, or giant fungus under
Oregon, the value of opening up to the concept of God is in coming to
the realization that we are not alone, establishing a connection to the
universe, the experience of finding completion. As individuals we may
exist alone, but we are all alone together as a people. Faith is the
answer to fear. Fear opposes love. To manipulate through fear is a
betrayal of trust.
What does God want? No big mystery - simply that we try to help each
other. We decide to make God-like decisions, rescuing falling sparrows,
or putting the poor things out of their misery. Tolerance, giving,
acceptance, forgiveness.
If this sounds a lot like pop psychology, that is my exact goal. Never
underestimate the value of a pep-talk and a pat on the ass. That is
basically all we give to our brave soldiers heading over to Iraq, and
more than they receive when they return. I want to state these ideas in
their simplest form, reducing all complexity, because each of us has to
find our own answers anyway. Start from here…
I am amazed how many people think they know me, even people who I have
never talked with. Many people will think that I should not be able to
choose the time and manner of my own death. My position is that I only
get one death, I want it to be a good one. Wouldn’t it be better to
stand for something or make a statement, rather than a fiery collision
with some drunk driver? Are not smokers choosing death by lung cancer?
Where is the dignity there? Are not the people the people who disregard
the environment killing themselves and future generations? Here is the
statement I want to make: if I am required to pay for your barbaric
war, I choose not to live in your world. I refuse to finance the mass
murder of innocent civilians, who did nothing to threaten our country.
I will not participate in your charade - my conscience will not allow
me to be a part of your crusade. There might be some who say “it’s a
coward’s way out” - that opinion is so idiotic that it requires no
response. From my point of view, I am opening a new door.
What is one more life thrown away in this sad and useless national
tragedy? If one death can atone for anything, in any small way, to say
to the world: I apologize for what we have done to you, I am ashamed
for the mayhem and turmoil caused by my country. I was alive when John
F. Kennedy instilled hope into a generation, and I was a sorry witness
to the final crushing of hope by Dick Cheney’s puppet, himself a pawn
of the real rulers, the financial plunderers and looters who profit
from every calamity; following the template of Reagan’s idiocracy.
The upcoming elections are not a solution - our two party system is a
failure of democracy. Our government has lost its way since our
founders tried to build a structure which allowed people to practice
their own beliefs, as far as it did not negatively affect others. In
this regard, the separation of church and state needs to be reviewed.
This is a large part of the way that the world has gone wrong, the
endless defining and dividing of things, micro-sub-categorization,
sectarianism. The direction we need is a process of unification,
integrating all people into a world body, respecting each individual.
Business and industry have more power than ever before, and individuals
have less. Clearly, the function of government is to protect the
individual, from hardship and disease, from zealots, from the
exploitation, from monopoly, even from itself. Our leaders are not wise
persons with integrity and vision - they are actors reading from
teleprompters, whose highest goal is to stir up the mob. Our country
slaughters Arabs, abandons New Orleaneans, and ignores the dieing
environment. Our economy is a house of cards, as hollow and fragile as
our reputation around the world. We as a nation face the abyss of our
own design.
A coalition system which includes a Green Party would be an obvious
better approach than our winner-take-all system. Direct electronic
debate and balloting would be an improvement over our
non-representative congress. Consider that the French people actually
have a voice, because they are willing to riot when the government
doesn’t listen to them.
“Any people anywhere, being inclined and having the power, have the
right to rise up, and shake off the existing government… ” - Abraham
Lincoln
With regard to those few who crossed my path carrying the extreme and
unnecessary weight of animosity: they seemed by their efforts to be
punishing themselves. As they acted out the misery of their lives it is
now difficult to feel anything other than pity for them.
Without fear I go now to God - your future is what you will choose today.
Just goes to show that intelligence doesn't prevent someone from being stupid.
I'd imagine the same could be said of his 'experimental music'.
Bruno Johnson spreads the two-page note on the bar at his Palm Tavern in Bay View and stares at the worn paper, folded and refolded countless times, passed from hand to hand, friend to friend.
Johnson stares at the words, instructions about bank accounts, credit cards, computer passwords, next of kin, a giant collection of jazz recordings and a neon-purple 1997 Plymouth with 107,000 miles parked north of Grand Ave. in Chicago. And that final chilling sentence, the one that still gets to Johnson: "sorry about the mental-illness thing, it's not something I would have chosen for myself."
http://tinyurl.com/ye6vos
Ritscher, a maintenance engineer at the University of Chicago, became something of a fixture on the Chicago jazz scene. For years, he set up microphones and recorded gigs in smoky bars, Johnson says. If bands wanted the master, Ritscher gave it to them at no charge.
Johnson, who runs a small record label named Okka Disk, distributed some of the works.
Ritscher, who changed his first name from Mark to Malachi in 1981, lived a life filled with highs and lows, according to his self-written obituary, titled "out of time." A marriage ended in divorce. He was estranged from his son. He battled alcoholism but was sober for 16 years.
He explained his opposition to the war in a rambling "mission statement" in which he implored the reader to "judge me by my actions."
Malachi Ritscher holds up a sign during an antiwar protest in Chicago in this photo from April 2003. On Nov. 3, 2006, Ritscher set up a video camera, doused himself with gasoline and lit himself on fire on expressway off-ramp in downtown Chicago. War protesters are hailing him as a martyr. (AP Photo/Joeff Davis)
Prolly another bad choice.
Why nobody noticed was due to camouflage. He might as well have jumped off a building onto a red painted sidewalk.
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