Need help in NJ with Dr. Kevorkian clones

[Simplemines]

I'm in desperate need of some advice and some help.

My husband was successfully operated on three months ago for pancreatic cancer. He was doing well til three weeks ago when he got dehydrated - a byproduct of the strong chemo regimen he was on.

He went to the hospital, where he was ignored and got worse. Within four days he went from dehydrated to septic shock, a situation the hospital caused by ignoring his symptoms.

He was on respirator, and I had all the Dr. Kevorkian clones running up to me all day to get me to sign a DNR (do not resusciate) order, despite that both my husband and I had decided after Terri's Schiavo's murder that we both wanted EVERYTHING done as long as possible.

Three weeks later, and after much threatening by me of anyone who even looked at him like they were measuring him for a coffin, he's getting better. The sepsis is gone. He's still weak and on a respirator, but two drs. today want to give him a tracheotomy and wean him off the vent.

Meanwhile, the dr. who went on vacation after my husband was admitted showed up. He wanted to talk to me, I thought, about the trach procedure. Instead, he blindsided me with some total BS about how my husband's "quality of life" isn't very good (no chit, Sherlock), and that he thinks my husband would rather just be taken off the respirator and be allowed to DIE.

Where this imbecile came up with this, I've NO idea. I had just seen my husband, who is 90 percent conscious and knows what's going on, and he nodded YES when I asked him if he wanted to live. (He also wrote it, weakly, on a pad.)

Dr. Kevorkian ran away when I told him that I'd put HIM on a respirator if he hurt my husband. He also acted like he "acquiesced" to my husband's and my wishes that he be allowed to recover from the infection this crummy hospital gave him that put him in ICU.

Now I'm scared to death that they're going to LET him die. We're a small family, and we can't be there 24/7 (it's an 80 mile roundtrip, and I am trying to do research because none of these drs. know enough to even learn his name, and they constantly contradict one another.)

I need HELP. I need advice. I need anyone who is northern NJ and wants to prevent a murder to help.

So please, if you know of any pro-life organizations, any anti-euthanasia groups, if you want to visit him and keep his spirits up (and make sure the Kevorkians don't get near him), please let me know. And please post with any suggestions.

God bless all of you. (And say a prayer for me, cause I'm going to pass out!)

[JennysCool]

Prayers up, but good lord, can't he be transferred to another, less hostile, hospital a little closer to home?

[jaredt112]

I don't live in the New Jersey area (sorry), but I wish you the best of luck in finding a group to help you out. What they are doing and trying to do is total bull****, and I will be saying my prayers for you.

Regards,
Jared

[Danae]

Get him transfered NOW. Call the other hospitals in the area, tell them you need to transfer him. You will have to pay the transport fees, the ambulance, but get it done. Walk the happs of the hospital he is in or call your family physician, that is the better idea, call the answering service of your general practitioner and DEMAND he be transfered immediately. Your general will be a LOT more likely to help you!

Prayers to you and your husband. He WILL recover!

[sc2_ct]

Wow, I am very sorry and disgusted to hear what you're going through. From my experience, one of the best things you can do is put a lawyer on a small retainer and have them make a call to the hospital and/or doctors involved and make it clear in no uncertain terms that you and your husband value life and that anything suspicious will be investigated fully. No doctor wants their malpractive insurance going up, and hospitals are terrified about their reputations being "marred".

I hope for the best, please keep us apprised of the situation.

[misty4jc]

How awful for you and your poor husband! I wish I could get there.....no "doc" would get near him! >:o( (grrrr..this is my mean face!) I will definately be praying for you and him!

[Louis Foxwell]

You are absolutely correct. These Dr. Gods will insure your husband's death to prove that they are right and you are wrong.
You need to take immediate legal action against the hospital. Contact an attorney who is willing to file an immediate suit against the doctors and against the hospital. Treat them as the enemy that they are.
Contact the police and tell them your story. Call the State's attorney and demand that they press charges against the hospital for refusing to provide adequate care.
Contact an ambulance service and have him moved immediately to an intensive care nursing facility.
Make as much noise and trouble as you are able and you might save his life.

[Zeppelin]

and why has this been removed from Breaking News? Seems pretty urgent to me, a life is at stake.

Prayers for your husband, your family, and yourself. God Bless.

[Simplemines]

Their reputation may well be marred. I'm a newspaper reporter. My husband's a newspaper editor.

Come hell or high water, I'm going to write THE definitive article about NJ hospital practices. But right now, I'd like to save his LIFE.

(and you thought all us media types were lefties, eh?)

[A CA Guy]

Prayers for a good outcome for you.

The DNR is not a Kevorkian thing, it is the option of not taking extraordinary measures to keep a person alive at the sake of all the survivors wealth if they take a turn for the worse.
Most consider it natural and compassionate if that time should arrive.

I would rather hope for a full recovery of your loved one though God bless!

[Simplemines]

Good idea re: the atty, but I can't find one. I'm going to try going through RTL; surely someone in NJ isn't pro-euthanasia!

[Cindy]

Ok, first, I'm praying for you and your husband.

OPINION: Next, let's look at another hospital/treatment center.
I'VE NEVER USED THIS SERVICE, but you may want to check
it out:

http://www.cancercenter.com/

Finally, open up your phone book or start searching in
Google to find a cancer center/hospital that YOU feel
might be more appropriate for your husband.

Good luck and God bless you.

[Cindy]

ping

[Simplemines]

I'd agree with you, except that it was done by this little resident who looks like his testicles still haven't descended. All during that awful first day, this little dweeb HAUNTED me, and I mean HAUNTED me, to sign that DNR. And that was after I said NO. No. No.

Then when my husband's son from a previous marriage came, the dweeb started in on him to get me to change my mind!

I finally exploded and said I'd never heard of such incredible unethical and CRUEL behavior. He kept saying, "if it was my loved one..." and I said, yeah, if it was your loved one, they'd all be DEAD. So there IS a God...neither I nor my husband is related to YOU.

This little idiot just stood there with his jaw hanging open. I can't tell you how many drs. have done just that because I refuse their "kindnesses" to kill my husband. And they honestly don't get WHY I'm upset - that THEY gave my hospital this infection, that THEY ignored it until he almost died while he was in their hospital.

And that it's SOP to try to impose on the family to let the patient die when they're too stupid and incompetent to do anything BUT.

All I want is for him to be off the ventilator and stable, and I'll take him OUT of that hellhole.

And why is it that no dr. reads his chart? And why don't they ever talk to one another? And why is it that I have met maybe one dr. not connected to this hospital who has a centimeter of human compassion and doesn't keep harping on me about the WORST outcomes? I can't even get these imbeciles to NOT talk about death in front of him!

is this the future of healthcare? I hope to God I drop dead rather than endure this "humane" torture.

[Salvation]

Did you see this?

[littleleo]

I'm afraid that this type of situation happens all too often. My daughter is a surgeon who is appalled at the callous attitudes of doctors when caring for critically ill patients like your husband. I'm afraid that you are his best defense against these jackals. The advice that others have suggested regarding a lawyer is good advice. Sometimes a simple letter written by an attorney can work wonders in difficult matters. Be strong for him and my prayers are with you both.

[de Buillion]

I'm praying for you and your husband. I also pray that you might be able to leave NJ. I think that it is a sick state.

[A CA Guy]

You are really taking offense at the wrong thing.

I cared for my mom who died from cancer after a three years of a valiant battle.
I was up 23 hours a day towards the end of her precious life. I gave it all I had and it was my blessing.
She was a very religious woman who became a nun after my dad passed away from an industrial caused illness. She went into the prisons to help convert people to Christ and so on.

The DNR is considered by most religious people to be the most natural way to handle things if they do go beyond a fair chance at recovery.
Nobody is going to try and take your husband out and what the young person trying to get you to sign IMO is honestly trying to help you do a helpful thing.
It means that if you loved one happens upon deaths door, do you want to let them go with dignity or die a thousand deaths with mega bills on machines before they go anyway?

If there is no DNR, then they will be BRUTAL in trying to save the life, even when there is no chance of recovery. (I've seen that in cancer wards with others)

The machines are so good today that often you will have a person all but dead on machines with no chance of recovery who are just in place for when they do pass at a cost of perhaps $100k a month to the family in debt.

The DNR goes into effect when all vitals are crashing, the body is giving up everything there is with really no chance of recovery.
They do NOT try and kill anyone of give up on them unless it has really gotten to that point.
Most consider it dying with dignity if it comes to that point.

My mom had a DNR, and nobody killed her. They tried to the end. She was bad off and if her heart stopped or she stopped breathing, she did not want to make the dying process a number of deaths for her and the family. She also did not want to make fruitless expenses for no reason to the family.

Most people I know would want the DNR because it only means if you are too far gone, don't be outrageous in efforts to save that is going anyway.

I've been there in a big way already twice in my life with loved ones.
Once with my mother who was very young when she died of breast cancer and a dear older friend who was 96 wanting to make it to her 100th birthday who broke an arm, but quickly died of something else.
They both wanted to die with dignity if it came to that.

My prayers and all my love are sincerely with you in the hope of a full recovery, but please don't think people are being evil presenting the DNR to you, it is considered compassionate in letting people die with dignity if they have no real chance should it come to that.

God bless, you and yours are in my prayers tonight and you have all my love in this hard time. I hope they recover.

[sageb1]

Is there anyone who can do a New Jersey ping for help?

[sageb1]

I went through this with a friend for who I was 24/7 caregiver. I never signed the DNR until after he died. He had no intentions ever of giving up.