Fifty ways to kill Zacharias Moussaui

Me

[pulaskibush]

Fifty ways to kill Zacharias Moussaui

It looks like Zacharias Moussaui may have to be sent to meet the 72 virgins in hell. With that in mine, here are some the ways the Government can administer Justice to Zacharias Moussaui.

1. Place Zacharias Moussaui in a chair. Using an industrial strength crane, hoist 150 ft. above Zacharias Moussaui a 900 lbs. pot-belly pig. Drop the 900 lbs. pig onto Zacharias Moussaui.
2. Force Zacharias Moussaui to watch GIGLI, BASIC INSTINCT 2, ALEXANDER, CATWOMAN, SUPERBABIES: BABY GENIUSES 2, WHITE CHICKS, JERSEY GIRL, and other Razzie Award winning movies. This will force him to vomit himself to death
3. Spam
4. Put him in the same room as Barney the Dinosaur, which as we all know, is an evil flesh eating alien.
5. Roundhouses kick from Chuck Norris, which will not only kill Zacharias Moussaui, but the remaining 1/3rd of Al Queda.
6. Stuff him full of cheese and then tie him to a moose.
7. Place Zacharias Moussaui between John McCain and a camera.
8. Place Zacharias Moussaui between Jesse Jackson and a camera.
9. Put Zacharias Moussaui in a red uniform and place him on an old Star Trek episode.
10. Cast Zacharias Moussaui as a bad guy in a Steven Segal or Jean Claude Van Dam TV action movie.
11. Have Zacharias Moussaui drive in a demolition Derby with a Pinto.
12. Send Zacharias Moussaui anywhere south of Mexico and have him try to cross the mexican Southern Border. He will most likely be robbed in addition to being murdered by the corrupt mexican authorities.
13. Feed Zacharias Moussaui McDonalds until he dies of obesity.
14. Force Zacharias Moussaui to breathe Second Hand smoke from Rush Limbaugh. He might die in a couple of decades.
15. Pour gasoline on Zacharias Moussaui and have him fight the Balrog. The Balrog is a giant monster on fire so the gasoline really isn’t needed, but use it anyway.

16. Place Zacharias Moussaui in Afghanistan and inform the Afghan Government that Zacharias Moussaui has converted to Christianity; they’ll kill him under their Sharia Law that shouldn’t have been allowed in their new Constitution.
17. Place Zacharias Moussaui in China and inform the Chinese Government that Zacharias Moussaui is a member of Falon Gong, a Christian, or an anti-Communist group of some kind.
18. Place Zacharias Moussaui and accuse him of drawing cartoons of the prophet Mohammed.
19. Have Zacharias Moussaui eat a bunch of burritos and have him fight the Balrog. See 15
20. Pay Mugen some dumplings to have him kill Zacharias Moussaui

21. Place Zacharias Moussaui inside a Yugo, crush the Yugo with an Imperial Walker.
22. Have Zacharias Moussaui skydive with a lead parachute.
23. Have Zacharias Moussaui play Russian roulette with a .45 automatic.
24. Place a milestone around his neck and throw him in the water. This method is the official endorsement of the Death Penalty by Jesus Christ (Mathew 18:6)
25. Place a gold chain around his neck and inform Mr. T
26. Have Zacharias Moussaui listen to recordings of Air America. (do not use the radio as Air America may go off the air before killing Zacharias Moussaui)
27. Have him eat Chilled Monkey Brains from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.
28. Toss Dwarves at Zacharias Moussaui.
29. Put Zacharias Moussaui in front of an Israeli Bulldozer.
30. Put Zacharias Moussaui in a retirement home in France during a hot summer. He will be neglected and die of heat stroke.
31. Have Zacharias Moussaui assassinated by the Barnyard Commandos.

http://www.bcdb.com/cartoon_characters/33224-Barnyard_Commandos.html
32. Tofu
33. Attach Zacharias Moussaui to a zero-point Module. Place Zacharias Moussaui into an anti-matter stream from a Pulsar. The release of energy will create an Artificial Quantum Singularity. Emit Tetrion Particles into the Artificial Quantum Singularity to recreate the big bang. This will destroy Zacharias Moussaui along with 3/4ths of the Universe.
34. Shoot Zacharias Moussaui with The 80cm 'schwere Gustav'
http://www.aopt91.dsl.pipex.com/railgun/Content/Railwayguns/German/Dora%20index.htm
35. Have Zacharias Moussaui tease an elephant
http://www.darwinawards.com/
36. Tofu and Spam together
37. From Above the Law: Have an ex-CIA agent shoot Zacharias Moussaui in the stomach, then have Steven Segal ram him with the back of a car, then ram Zacharias Moussaui through the concrete wall of a parking garage, then have Zacharias Moussaui fall several stories onto a Metro track, then have several thousand volts from the Metro track fry him, then run him over with a several ton Metro bus.
38. Have Captain Boromir place Zacharias Moussaui into a Gondor catapult. Launch Zacharias Moussaui into the eye of Sauron.
39. Have Zacharias Moussaui do a documentary about Grizzly Bears.
40. Zacharias Moussaui vs. Predator
41. Cast him as a jerk on a crappy Sci-fi Channel monster movie.
42. 1 minute with Fred the Pissed off Cat

43. Have Zacharias Moussaui eat tofu and spam, and then have him fight the Balrog.
44. Tie an acorn to Zacharias Moussaui and inform Scrat the saber-toothed squirrel from Ice Age
45. Tie Zacharias Moussaui onto an Intercontinental Balistic Missile and shoot it at Tehran.
46. Have Zacharias Moussaui read the Great Gatsby and write a 20 research paper on what is one of the crappiest books ever forced on high school students.
47. Use the sniper that shot JFK. The REAL sniper that shot JFK.
Funny Pictures

48. Place Zacharias Moussaui into a tub and throw in a hair dryer. It will look like an accident. Have him write a Vince Foster suicide note.

49. Hang him using 1 hair from Ann Coulter, which is capable of holding up to 2,000 lbs AND is toxic to terrorist.

50. Take a tube and build around it a stock that allows the tube to be held. Assemble a spring, a firing pin or hammer, and a release trigger so that when one pulls the trigger, the spring will release the firing pin or hammer with enough velocity to detonate a small explosive upon impact. Also assemble a soft metal cartridge capable of fitting into the tube. Into this small metal cartridge place in order; an explosive that can be detonated upon impact, some more explosive material that can be detonated by the previous explosive, and a projectile or several projectiles that can cause bodily harm to someone when propelled by previously used explosive material. Placed the assembled cartridge in the tube and aim the tube at Zacharias Moussaui. Pull the trigger that will release the firing pin or hammer that will impact the first explosive material thus igniting the second explosive material and propelling the lethal projectile towards Zacharias Moussaui. You may also use preassembled tubes that propel lethal projectiles such as the; 5.56 M-16, .357 magnum, .308 FNFAL, 7.62x39 SKS, 30.06 BAR, or a combination of these and/or other models.

[reagan_fanatic]

1) Bind him in a harness.

2) Using a large drum or canister, mix up appropriate amounts of pig entrails and slow-acting acids that would, very slowly, eat away human flesh.

3) Suspend Moussaui in said mixture.

4) Insert intravenous line into vein to provide Moussaui with the necessary nutrients to keep him from starving to death (mixed with pork drippings, of course.)

5) Charge admission to the spectacle, while providing box cutters and boxes of Morton salt to visitors who would then be allowed to make small cuts on his body into which they can pour the salt.

6) After death, place carcass in nearest landfill to rot.

7) Throw a celebratory party afterwards with drinks on the house.

8) Mail video of party and decomposing Moussaui to Zarqawi in Iraq.

[musicman]

Dress him in a pair of nothing but cowboy chaps with "Brokeback Terrorist" written on both sides of them.

On his chest and back, write in permanent ink, in LARGE letters, "NASCAR SUCKS".

Then let him loose by the porta-potties under the grandstands at this years Nextel Daytona July 4th race.

[Jack Hammer]

Sorta reminds me of the hideous torture performed by the Soviet agents in the Cagney comedy film One-Two-Three; forcing the prisoner to listen endlessly to the rock 'n' roll hit "She Wore an Itsy-Bitsy, Teeny-Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini." The poor fellow cracked and spilled his guts in no time, having been reduced to a quaking, blithering idiot without the will to live.

[cyclotic]

Take him to Manhattan. Handcuff him to a light pole near the World Trade Center site. Take out ad space on all New York media outlets informing the public that he will be there to visit citizens from 2pm till 4pm and that all police officers will be elsewhere during that time.

Have him drawn and quartered using 4 helicopters at 10000 ft.

Take the big fist statue in Detroit. Set him on a scaffold near the business end and pull the fist back with a crane. Release the fist and see how far he flies.

[softwarecreator]

Don't feel alone ... when I first saw the title I thought it was a parody of that song by "dougfromupland".

[Idisarthur]

This doesn't have to do with one of the 50 ways to kill him but you can pray for his salvation.

To me this idea was foreign until I really focus on what is important. I also pray for Bin Laden to be saved.

[teenyelliott]

Me, too. I shouldn't admit it, but I love that song.

[freedumb2003]

I shouldn't admit it, but I love that song.

You got that right! ;)

[teenyelliott]

Well, I'm amongst friends, right??

[freedumb2003]

Certainly!

But I wouldn't mention it outside of here.

To anyone.

Ever.

;)

[TASMANIANRED]

Every day is his day in the barrel.

Grease him with grits and put him in the "Deadwood" pig stye.

[usmcobra]

Step 1) Stake him out naked in a hog pen.
Step 2) Don't feed hogs.
Step 3) Post the resulting video on Al Jezzera's web site as a warning.

[SealSeven]

A nice H2O2 (40%) enema would be in order

[manwiththehands]

Put Zacharias Moussaui in solitary for the rest of his life with no contact whatsoever with anyone. Let everyone forget about him. He'll die a forgotten pile of vomit in the trash heap of history.

[rockabyebaby]

Put gun to head, pull trigger, case closed!

[rfreedom4u]

Make numerous cuts all over his body and tie him to the ground. Then let a bunch of wild boars tear him apart and eat him. Then kill the boars and cremate them. Bury the ashes in a hog pen. He'll never get his virgins then.

[Yorlik803]

Death by Helen Thomas......

[TET1968]

Take him for a chopper ride.

Fly him over the landfill where all the 9-11 wreckage was dumped.
Circle the area a few times....strap a pig to his chest with a bungee cord.
Have him leave the aircraft.

I feel a little guilty about the pig.

[ALASKA]

Crash a plane into him......................

[RightWingAtheist]

51.Force him to read the entire Danielle Steele book collection

52.Give him Kenny's red coat

53.Give him the honor of being the first person to preview the complete Deluxe Edition DVD set of My Mother the Car

54.Three words: Best of Krokus

55.Tell Russell Crowe that Zacharias is responsible for his phone not working