Fifty ways to kill Zacharias Moussaui

Me

[pulaskibush]

Fifty ways to kill Zacharias Moussaui

It looks like Zacharias Moussaui may have to be sent to meet the 72 virgins in hell. With that in mine, here are some the ways the Government can administer Justice to Zacharias Moussaui.

1. Place Zacharias Moussaui in a chair. Using an industrial strength crane, hoist 150 ft. above Zacharias Moussaui a 900 lbs. pot-belly pig. Drop the 900 lbs. pig onto Zacharias Moussaui.
2. Force Zacharias Moussaui to watch GIGLI, BASIC INSTINCT 2, ALEXANDER, CATWOMAN, SUPERBABIES: BABY GENIUSES 2, WHITE CHICKS, JERSEY GIRL, and other Razzie Award winning movies. This will force him to vomit himself to death
3. Spam
4. Put him in the same room as Barney the Dinosaur, which as we all know, is an evil flesh eating alien.
5. Roundhouses kick from Chuck Norris, which will not only kill Zacharias Moussaui, but the remaining 1/3rd of Al Queda.
6. Stuff him full of cheese and then tie him to a moose.
7. Place Zacharias Moussaui between John McCain and a camera.
8. Place Zacharias Moussaui between Jesse Jackson and a camera.
9. Put Zacharias Moussaui in a red uniform and place him on an old Star Trek episode.
10. Cast Zacharias Moussaui as a bad guy in a Steven Segal or Jean Claude Van Dam TV action movie.
11. Have Zacharias Moussaui drive in a demolition Derby with a Pinto.
12. Send Zacharias Moussaui anywhere south of Mexico and have him try to cross the mexican Southern Border. He will most likely be robbed in addition to being murdered by the corrupt mexican authorities.
13. Feed Zacharias Moussaui McDonalds until he dies of obesity.
14. Force Zacharias Moussaui to breathe Second Hand smoke from Rush Limbaugh. He might die in a couple of decades.
15. Pour gasoline on Zacharias Moussaui and have him fight the Balrog. The Balrog is a giant monster on fire so the gasoline really isn’t needed, but use it anyway.

16. Place Zacharias Moussaui in Afghanistan and inform the Afghan Government that Zacharias Moussaui has converted to Christianity; they’ll kill him under their Sharia Law that shouldn’t have been allowed in their new Constitution.
17. Place Zacharias Moussaui in China and inform the Chinese Government that Zacharias Moussaui is a member of Falon Gong, a Christian, or an anti-Communist group of some kind.
18. Place Zacharias Moussaui and accuse him of drawing cartoons of the prophet Mohammed.
19. Have Zacharias Moussaui eat a bunch of burritos and have him fight the Balrog. See 15
20. Pay Mugen some dumplings to have him kill Zacharias Moussaui

21. Place Zacharias Moussaui inside a Yugo, crush the Yugo with an Imperial Walker.
22. Have Zacharias Moussaui skydive with a lead parachute.
23. Have Zacharias Moussaui play Russian roulette with a .45 automatic.
24. Place a milestone around his neck and throw him in the water. This method is the official endorsement of the Death Penalty by Jesus Christ (Mathew 18:6)
25. Place a gold chain around his neck and inform Mr. T
26. Have Zacharias Moussaui listen to recordings of Air America. (do not use the radio as Air America may go off the air before killing Zacharias Moussaui)
27. Have him eat Chilled Monkey Brains from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.
28. Toss Dwarves at Zacharias Moussaui.
29. Put Zacharias Moussaui in front of an Israeli Bulldozer.
30. Put Zacharias Moussaui in a retirement home in France during a hot summer. He will be neglected and die of heat stroke.
31. Have Zacharias Moussaui assassinated by the Barnyard Commandos.

http://www.bcdb.com/cartoon_characters/33224-Barnyard_Commandos.html
32. Tofu
33. Attach Zacharias Moussaui to a zero-point Module. Place Zacharias Moussaui into an anti-matter stream from a Pulsar. The release of energy will create an Artificial Quantum Singularity. Emit Tetrion Particles into the Artificial Quantum Singularity to recreate the big bang. This will destroy Zacharias Moussaui along with 3/4ths of the Universe.
34. Shoot Zacharias Moussaui with The 80cm 'schwere Gustav'
http://www.aopt91.dsl.pipex.com/railgun/Content/Railwayguns/German/Dora%20index.htm
35. Have Zacharias Moussaui tease an elephant
http://www.darwinawards.com/
36. Tofu and Spam together
37. From Above the Law: Have an ex-CIA agent shoot Zacharias Moussaui in the stomach, then have Steven Segal ram him with the back of a car, then ram Zacharias Moussaui through the concrete wall of a parking garage, then have Zacharias Moussaui fall several stories onto a Metro track, then have several thousand volts from the Metro track fry him, then run him over with a several ton Metro bus.
38. Have Captain Boromir place Zacharias Moussaui into a Gondor catapult. Launch Zacharias Moussaui into the eye of Sauron.
39. Have Zacharias Moussaui do a documentary about Grizzly Bears.
40. Zacharias Moussaui vs. Predator
41. Cast him as a jerk on a crappy Sci-fi Channel monster movie.
42. 1 minute with Fred the Pissed off Cat

43. Have Zacharias Moussaui eat tofu and spam, and then have him fight the Balrog.
44. Tie an acorn to Zacharias Moussaui and inform Scrat the saber-toothed squirrel from Ice Age
45. Tie Zacharias Moussaui onto an Intercontinental Balistic Missile and shoot it at Tehran.
46. Have Zacharias Moussaui read the Great Gatsby and write a 20 research paper on what is one of the crappiest books ever forced on high school students.
47. Use the sniper that shot JFK. The REAL sniper that shot JFK.
Funny Pictures

48. Place Zacharias Moussaui into a tub and throw in a hair dryer. It will look like an accident. Have him write a Vince Foster suicide note.

49. Hang him using 1 hair from Ann Coulter, which is capable of holding up to 2,000 lbs AND is toxic to terrorist.

50. Take a tube and build around it a stock that allows the tube to be held. Assemble a spring, a firing pin or hammer, and a release trigger so that when one pulls the trigger, the spring will release the firing pin or hammer with enough velocity to detonate a small explosive upon impact. Also assemble a soft metal cartridge capable of fitting into the tube. Into this small metal cartridge place in order; an explosive that can be detonated upon impact, some more explosive material that can be detonated by the previous explosive, and a projectile or several projectiles that can cause bodily harm to someone when propelled by previously used explosive material. Placed the assembled cartridge in the tube and aim the tube at Zacharias Moussaui. Pull the trigger that will release the firing pin or hammer that will impact the first explosive material thus igniting the second explosive material and propelling the lethal projectile towards Zacharias Moussaui. You may also use preassembled tubes that propel lethal projectiles such as the; 5.56 M-16, .357 magnum, .308 FNFAL, 7.62x39 SKS, 30.06 BAR, or a combination of these and/or other models.

[pulaskibush]

Feel free to add your own suggestions

[kinghorse]

I'd keep him alive as long as possible. I'd keep him on life support and pin his eyes back. Death is too easy. This guy needs to rot in solitary. Better yet drive to take his own life. Then he'd be squewed.

[edpc]

Fifty ways to kill Moussaui....with apologies to Paul Simon.

Give him cyanide, Clyde, Blow up his bus, Gus, Use a big bomb, Tom.......

And so on...

[teenyelliott]

1. Slip out the back, Jack

2. Make a new plan, Stan.

3. Hop on a bus, Gus. . . .

I'm terribly sorry, but I couldn't resist . . .

[edpc]

Suggestion number one harkens back to this:

[VOATNOW1]

Dress him like a Jewish Rabbi and then put him in a room full of Hamas members.

[inquest]

50. Take a tube and build around it a stock that allows the tube to be held. Assemble a spring, a firing pin or hammer, and a release trigger so that when one pulls the trigger, the spring will release the firing pin or hammer with enough velocity to detonate a small explosive upon impact. Also assemble a soft metal cartridge capable of fitting into the tube. Into this small metal cartridge place in order; an explosive that can be detonated upon impact, some more explosive material that can be detonated by the previous explosive, and a projectile or several projectiles that can cause bodily harm to someone when propelled by previously used explosive material. Placed the assembled cartridge in the tube and aim the tube at Zacharias Moussaui. Pull the trigger that will release the firing pin or hammer that will impact the first explosive material thus igniting the second explosive material and propelling the lethal projectile towards Zacharias Moussaui. You may also use preassembled tubes that propel lethal projectiles such as the; 5.56 M-16, .357 magnum, .308 FNFAL, 7.62x39 SKS, 30.06 BAR, or a combination of these and/or other models.

Hey, I've heard of those things. There's a name for them, right? (I think it's like a three-letter acronym or something)

[Wiz]

The best way to punish an Islamist that does not fear death is to feed pigs forcing it down to stomach and flush a Koran down the toilet in front. The Islamist should be hanging itself in the prison until the next day.

[Buffettfan]

HAHAHAHAHA

[freedumb2003]

Just let NYC know you will release him at Times Square.

[freedumb2003]

Have Chuck Norris kick him so hard it kills him and his lineage all the way back to muhammed.

[Buffettfan]

How about making him do squats on a fire hydrant and then release a pack up gerbils with razorblades strapped to their backs on his ass? We can make it a pay per view event.

Semper Fi'
Jarhead

[stylecouncilor]

ping

[Ichneumon]

..."Candygram for Zacharias Moussaui"...

[Frank_Discussion]

Kenny G. Lots of Kenny G. A Christmas album.

[Michael Goldsberry]

LOL!

Well done!

General Pershing

[piytar]

Here's another WB inspired one:

Insert Illudium Pu-36 Explosive Space Modulator into orifice of choice. Light fuse. Run, preferably at some significant fraction of the speed of light.

[immigration lady]

I don't want my tax dollars to keep this piece of rotten pig scum alive for the next 40 or 50 years.

Chain him to a chair, put his head in a brace, and have him watch hard core porn for 8 hours straight - naked. Then, tie him up where the hair is very, very short, and drag him by the trailer hitch of a Ford F-150 on a gravel and dirt road at about 45 mph for about 30 miles - naked. Then, rack him up. Pull those body parts until they feel like they are about to pop off. Then, bring in the Abu Ghraib (sp?) prison dogs - the german shepherds - and have them snarl at him while he sits on the floor - naked. Preach the gospel of Jesus Christ over and over and over again. Burn many Korans in front of him. Then burn him alive and hang his charred body from the Brooklyn Bridge.

I think that would be justice for him being responsible for the death of about - oh - one American!

[edpc]

Insert Illudium Pu-36 Explosive Space Modulator into orifice of choice.

That would make him very angry.....