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The cult of the mean girl
TORONTO STAR ^ | Mar. 5, 2006 | LESLIE SCRIVENER

Posted on 03/06/2006 9:51:00 PM PST by tbird5

It happens to the best of women. Here's Rosalind Wiseman, who has spent her entire working life teaching girls to treat each other decently. The script for the movie Mean Girls was based on her 2002 best-selling Queen Bees & Wannabes, a book that helps parents understand the drama and danger in the adolescent girl world. She knows the minefields that lie in gossip, jealousy, disloyalty and cruel judgments, and offers solid prescriptions for changing bad behaviour.

Yet despite her experience, she recently found herself sizing up two mothers who came to see her.

In her view, the women paid too much attention to their appearance, especially their hair. They seemed catty in their conversation, were micromanaging their kids' lives, and were silly.

"All these things came into my head. Why? They are antithetical to what I teach and believe," Wiseman says. "I was still judging these women."

Where does this nastiness come from?

Wiseman thinks it exists because it's supposed to exist. Being nasty to each other is one of the unspoken rules about how girls and women are supposed to behave; one of the rigidly enforced North American standards of what constitutes femininity.

"It's everything you know but haven't been sat down and taught," as Wiseman puts it.

When she judged the two women so harshly, it was as if she was acting out one of the observations she made in her book — that girls and women can be their own worst enemies.

(Excerpt) Read more at thestar.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: psychology
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To: chris1

bookmk ping


161 posted on 03/07/2006 11:57:17 AM PST by Dad yer funny
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To: JillValentine

That's a pretty good description.


162 posted on 03/07/2006 11:57:31 AM PST by RockinRight (Attention RNC...we're the party of Reagan, not FDR...)
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To: Hoodlum91

Well, maybe not...sometimes I'm just a little naughty...

;-)


163 posted on 03/07/2006 11:57:57 AM PST by RockinRight (Attention RNC...we're the party of Reagan, not FDR...)
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To: tbird5
"Women who have never had true female friends, who avoid activities because they involved women, who disparage women as a group, or who deliberately work in male-dominated environments because they don't like women, are everyday examples of a basic failure to connect with peers," writes Dellasega.

Nah, maybe they just don't like whiny, bitchy women. Life's too short to be spent around people you can't stand.

164 posted on 03/07/2006 11:58:30 AM PST by SuziQ
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To: Clemenza

Just remember that those statements, while they describe perfectly 99% of liberal women, don't apply to conservative women. At all.

I've had enough incidents working with catty, manipulative liberal women to know what it's like. Conservative women, we're 100% different from that.

It's not "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus," it's "Conservatives are from Earth, liberals are from Uranus."


165 posted on 03/07/2006 12:00:51 PM PST by JillValentine (Fairy tales are unhealthy for little girls because Prince Charming is an alias for Big Government.)
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To: JillValentine
"Conservatives are from Earth, liberals are from Uranus."

You just found a new tagline, I think...

166 posted on 03/07/2006 12:02:05 PM PST by RockinRight (Attention RNC...we're the party of Reagan, not FDR...)
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To: JillValentine
Did someone say Uranus?


167 posted on 03/07/2006 12:03:59 PM PST by RockinRight (Attention RNC...we're the party of Reagan, not FDR...)
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To: tbird5

cat fight bump


168 posted on 03/07/2006 12:06:52 PM PST by Woman on Caroline Street (Go sell crazy somewhere else. We're all stocked up here.)
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To: tbird5
In her view, the women paid too much attention to their appearance, especially their hair. They seemed catty in their conversation, were micromanaging their kids' lives, and were silly.

If it's true, is it still mean?

169 posted on 03/07/2006 12:10:05 PM PST by Mogengator
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To: pissant
Nice try pissant. This is more my speed....
Image hosting by Photobucket
170 posted on 03/07/2006 12:13:13 PM PST by Jersey Republican Biker Chick (Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.)
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick

LOL...


171 posted on 03/07/2006 12:18:47 PM PST by RockinRight (Attention RNC...we're the party of Reagan, not FDR...)
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick

Excellent shirt!


172 posted on 03/07/2006 12:19:19 PM PST by conservativebabe
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick

I love the UFC too. To me, almost everything else seems boring. I can't wait for Royce Gracie vs. Hughes.


173 posted on 03/07/2006 12:19:29 PM PST by chris1
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To: wagglebee

THAT's a relief!


174 posted on 03/07/2006 12:19:51 PM PST by Calpernia (Breederville.com)
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To: Calpernia

But I've been known to be wrong! :-)


175 posted on 03/07/2006 12:21:30 PM PST by wagglebee ("We are ready for the greatest achievements in the history of freedom." -- President Bush, 1/20/05)
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To: SuziQ
"Women who have never had true female friends, who avoid activities because they involved women, who disparage women as a group, or who deliberately work in male-dominated environments because they don't like women, are everyday examples of a basic failure to connect with peers," writes Dellasega.

"Women who disparage men as a group, or who want to ban guns because they're afraid of them, or who think a true friend is one who's nice to your face but says mean, catty things behind your back, or who think imitating Jennifer Aniston's hair style will make them happy and popular, are everyday examples of a basic failure to possess a functioning brain."

There, much better. :-)
176 posted on 03/07/2006 12:22:36 PM PST by JillValentine (Fairy tales are unhealthy for little girls because Prince Charming is an alias for Big Government.)
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To: RockinRight

Eeewwww!


177 posted on 03/07/2006 12:23:17 PM PST by Hoodlum91 (pcottraux says I'm special!)
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick
Still have to say I like this one best:


178 posted on 03/07/2006 12:24:08 PM PST by RockinRight (Attention RNC...we're the party of Reagan, not FDR...)
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To: Hoodlum91

Well, eeewwww! is the most appropriate response to a Barney Frank pic!


179 posted on 03/07/2006 12:25:07 PM PST by RockinRight (Attention RNC...we're the party of Reagan, not FDR...)
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To: chris1

I am a big UFC fan!! Can't get enough.


180 posted on 03/07/2006 12:28:05 PM PST by Jersey Republican Biker Chick (Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.)
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