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Four Myths About Living Together Without Marriage
Human Events ^
| Mar 01, 2006
| Janice Shaw Crouse
Posted on 03/01/2006 7:09:06 AM PST by ZGuy
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To: 70times7
"the love of" - should be - His love for
261
posted on
03/01/2006 1:06:05 PM PST
by
70times7
(An open mind is a cesspool of thought)
To: HairOfTheDog
~They~ made the commitment John ;~D I know you're just yanking my chain. And I also know you understand what I meant.
Congrats also to you. May you both stay happy, healthy and madly in love with each other
262
posted on
03/01/2006 1:06:37 PM PST
by
John O
(God Save America (Please))
To: John O
I know of one father who just got his kids. Unfortunately it took their drug addicted mother dying from an apparent overdose in order to get the courts to give him the kids. First rule of social policy, don't use extremely broken examples to make the rules. If the mother was drug addicted and disfunctional, I bet when they were together they had that in common. I don't know many drug users who don't share that with most of the people in their life. Clearly, there's more to the story, as always.
263
posted on
03/01/2006 1:11:10 PM PST
by
HairOfTheDog
(Hobbit Hole knives for soldiers! www.freeper.the-hobbit-hole.net)
To: feinswinesuksass
He has asked me to marry him countless times & I have said yes. So you committed to each other for the long haul. In fact, I have had a few friends that blamed getting married on the death of their relationship. Sometimes marriage changes people in a bad way.
No. Not working at your marriage changes you in a bad way. Refusing to grow up and realize that marriage is forever changes you in a bad way, but marriage itself never changes anyone. What you were before the ceremony you are after the ceremony, now you've just made public your decison to spend your life with your spouse.
264
posted on
03/01/2006 1:11:30 PM PST
by
John O
(God Save America (Please))
To: John O
I know you're just yanking my chain. Yes, but with only affection :~D
265
posted on
03/01/2006 1:12:00 PM PST
by
HairOfTheDog
(Hobbit Hole knives for soldiers! www.freeper.the-hobbit-hole.net)
To: antiRepublicrat
Your thesis doesn't hold water. In the past, where cohabitation was almost unheard of the divorce rate was in the single digits.
266
posted on
03/01/2006 1:13:02 PM PST
by
rlferny
To: TAdams8591
267
posted on
03/01/2006 1:13:15 PM PST
by
John O
(God Save America (Please))
To: HairOfTheDog
If the mother was drug addicted and disfunctional, I bet when they were together they had that in common. Actually they didn't. He was a good Christian man trying his best to be a good husband and father and she was just sort of along for the ride. From what I understand bad mother from the start. Got the drug addiction when she moved herself and the kids to a state 2000 miles away
268
posted on
03/01/2006 1:15:24 PM PST
by
John O
(God Save America (Please))
To: rlferny
In the past, where cohabitation was almost unheard of the divorce rate was in the single digits. That's the "Complex Cause" logical fallacy.
In any case, you still ignore my telling you that this was against the logic of only that sentence, not the intent of the whole article.
To: sandbar
I am sure your family is indistinguishable from any other family on the outside. However, Would you say the social change that occured in the 70's and the dropping of commitment and the value of marriage has increased or decreased the measurables of a healthy society? If it has increased the good in the society how do you explain the overwhelming counter statistics to that statement?
To: John O
As always in anonymous internet examples, I'll have to take your word for it.
But I could throw at you examples of many people who failed to stay married, but managed to work out reasonable accommodations for raising their kids best they could. I know fathers who have custody, mothers who had custody, and my own life, where I was welcome in either home any time, depending on what was happening. My parents divorced, and no court assigned me to one parent or the other, there was no schedule, we worked it out, including splitting my college expenses. Court ordered child support and calendars of visitation are only for those who refuse to be reasonable.
271
posted on
03/01/2006 1:37:08 PM PST
by
HairOfTheDog
(Hobbit Hole knives for soldiers! www.freeper.the-hobbit-hole.net)
To: Gabz
Mrs. steveo and me lived together for about a year before she decided I wanted to marry her. It seemed like a good idea at the time so I said 'I did'. We just marked our 29th Anniversary on Feb 25th. You know what's really twisted and completely true? When we exchanged gifts and cards we found we bought the same identical card for each other. No lie.
272
posted on
03/01/2006 1:39:14 PM PST
by
steveo
(There is absolutely nothing like the frame of a dame....)
To: steveo; coolbreeze
You know what's really twisted and completely true? When we exchanged gifts and cards we found we bought the same identical card for each other. No lie. Not twisted and I believe it - because it has happened with me and coolbreeze more than once :)
273
posted on
03/01/2006 1:43:45 PM PST
by
Gabz
(Smoke gnatzies: small minds buzzing in you business........SWAT'EM)
To: John O
Not all women, and not all men. I look down on any woman who would submit to a sexual relationship without being married. I look down on any man who would be in a sexual relationship without being married. You're free to 'look down on' anyone you wish. But you still think sex is something men 'do' and women 'submit to'. These are grownups John. Equal citizens. Both making choices and tryin' to live life best they can. And we have relationships entirely of our choosing. And neither one is a victim.
274
posted on
03/01/2006 1:47:48 PM PST
by
HairOfTheDog
(Hobbit Hole knives for soldiers! www.freeper.the-hobbit-hole.net)
To: BJClinton; linda_22003
Well, murder is always an option. Less expensive than divorce. :) ...and if I had, I'd be out by now...
FWIW, I never thought of murder. Suicide all the time, but murder? No.
275
posted on
03/01/2006 1:57:08 PM PST
by
null and void
(I nominate Sept 11th: "National Moderate Muslim Day of Tacit Approval". - Mr. Rational, paraphrased)
To: linda_22003
"Mature adults" is the key to the whole thing, I believe. My husband had been married at 23 (and divorced by 26). We met when we were 29, and married at 31. My ex and I were 38. My first, her third. I thought the warning bells were wedding bells.
*sigh* Live, and hopefully, learn.
276
posted on
03/01/2006 1:59:58 PM PST
by
null and void
(I nominate Sept 11th: "National Moderate Muslim Day of Tacit Approval". - Mr. Rational, paraphrased)
To: feinswinesuksass
I have had a few friends that blamed getting married on the death of their relationship. Sometimes marriage changes people in a bad way. Yeah. These days I ask engaged people if they have a good relationship. They always say yes. Then I say Why ruin a perfectly good relationship by getting married?
Sad but too often true.
277
posted on
03/01/2006 2:03:05 PM PST
by
null and void
(I nominate Sept 11th: "National Moderate Muslim Day of Tacit Approval". - Mr. Rational, paraphrased)
To: linda_22003
*ouch* I'm going to award you both ears and the tail for that one...
278
posted on
03/01/2006 2:04:51 PM PST
by
null and void
(I nominate Sept 11th: "National Moderate Muslim Day of Tacit Approval". - Mr. Rational, paraphrased)
To: John O
However, only a cad would take advantage of a woman this way. I doubt there will ever be a shortage of cads.
279
posted on
03/01/2006 2:06:17 PM PST
by
null and void
(I nominate Sept 11th: "National Moderate Muslim Day of Tacit Approval". - Mr. Rational, paraphrased)
To: John O
From my middle class experience, most of the people I know, moved in together with the best of intentions (to eventually wed). Of those who split up after living together (I know several couples who went on and got married and are married to this day), one or the other decided marriage between them wouldn't work out. And indeed, some of them decided marriage wasn't necessary. And yes, I have heard of women who realized later, the man who they moved in with was never interested in marriage, or changed their minds after moving in with them.
Instead of phrasing it in the negative way you did, I would politely suggest to women, believing as you do, that it is unwise for women to move in with men to protect themselves from the type of male you mention.
It is interesting to me, that the men you know who were so wronged by their wives in divorce situations are always total victims in your mind. You never blame them for their choice of women to begin with. But you are quick to blame women first in any situation.
The truth is in divorce situations, the percentage of men and women who are wronged, approaches parity.
280
posted on
03/01/2006 2:06:53 PM PST
by
TAdams8591
(Small is the key!)
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