My Choice (moral relativism gone mad)

Hartford Courant ^ | 2/19/2006 | Rev. Donna Shaper

[Neville72]

My Choice

Minister's abortion two decades ago was a difficult decision that still resonates with a sense of loss - but it was a mature choice and the right one

By The Rev. Donna Schaper

I am a 58-year-old white woman. I had an abortion 19 years ago. I am not bragging, nor am I apologizing.

I am a mother of three children in their 20s, and I am an ordained Christian minister. I had one child and then twins. Having twins the second time caused me my great good fortune of having three children in diapers. While nursing the twins, I did not think I needed birth control. I was wrong.

When I got pregnant with the child I call "Alma," which means soul, I was not interested in a fourth child. I chose, with some searching, to exercise my constitutional right and ended her birth.

Why do I tell my story now? Because I fear that abortion rights may become even more restricted than they already are. I also find the very intimidation that I experience in telling my story to be the reason I must speak. Why would I be afraid? Because anti-abortion people like to punish people into their version of morality. Plus my editor warned me to expect a lot of heat. Should that fear replace free speech? I think not.

I did what was right for me, for my family, for my work, for my husband and for my three children. I happen to agree that abortion is a form of murder. I think the quarrel about when life begins is disrespectful to the fetus. I know I murdered the life within me. I could have loved that life but chose not to.

I did what I think men do all the time when they take us to war: They choose violence because, although they believe it is bad, it is still better than the alternatives. The "just war" theory assumes that human beings get caught in terrible choices all the time. This freedom is not just for men; it is for women also.

When I made my choice to end one life on behalf of other life, I was terribly troubled. I was in a double bind. I prayed and anguished. Then I made a choice. Adults make choices.

I have long thought that the drama of the abortion battle was not about unborn babies at all. Instead, it is about women and sex and about women and maturity. We are considered babies, sub-adults, in need of supervision over our sexuality. Otherwise we are dangerous. The virgin/whore debates come to mind.

When I made my choice to end life, I was behaving as an adult. I did not shrink from the responsibility of making a choice. I did not ask someone else to make it for me. And I certainly did not request my government's help in my bedroom. Instead, I behaved as an adult who is also a sexual being. Things happen sexually between people that are not always controllable. The unprotected sex I had with my husband while nursing our twins had a consequence that neither of us desired. It was a human life. That's why we named her, wept for her, wanted her but also knew we did not want her enough.

Because women are mature sexual beings who make choices, birth control and abortion are positive moral forces in history. They allow sex to be both procreational and recreational, for men and for women. That is good news, even though most of the world doesn't know it yet. In Africa, for example, too many men assume the freedom to have unprotected sex with women, giving them AIDS and heartbreak. What does our so-called pro-life government recommend? Abstinence! Such a recommendation is immoral to its core.

Obviously, protected sex is the most moral thing of all. Unprotected sex is adolescent, immature, sometimes life-threatening and always stupid. Women are mature enough to handle that. We are not babies. Sometimes, in the battle over killing our babies, I hear the echo of people wanting to kill women's maturity and sexuality. I don't like it. That's why I am breaking my silence about who I am.

I am a 58-year-old sexual, mature woman. That's who I am. I had an abortion. I am not bragging and I am not apologizing.

Abortion that is legal, safe and rare is the best policy conceivable for men and women and for mature, moral sexuality.

The Rev. Donna Schaper is senior minister of Judson Memorial Church in Manhattan.

[WhistlingPastTheGraveyard]

When I got pregnant with the child I call "Alma," which means soul

I'm getting a heavy ritual sacrifice vibe, here. This is one seriously creepy broad.

[Pietro]

"I know I murdered the life within me. I could have loved that life but chose not to."

That is stark.

[Red Badger]

Once, when I was a child, someone gave me a gift. Being a child, I reacted in a childish way, and expressed anger and disappointment because the gift was not what "I" wanted. The gift giver was at first shocked, and then started crying profusely. I was deeply embarrassed by what I had done in making this person cry. I realized then that a gift was not important because it's what "I" want, but because the giver wanted me to have it. This lady had been given a gift and rejected it just as that child of long ago did, too.........and the giver is still crying............

[zerosix]

I, too, noted that her faith wasn't high on her list, yet she gave her "profession" as "minister."

Certainly she does not possess Christian character as she offers no contrite spirit for killing one of her young. I noted with disgust, her statement of . ."I was not interested in . . . having another child," just an excuse for her selfishness at putting her own needs above that of a God created life.

One need never raise one's own baby if it is an inconvenience or burden. That is why God ordained adoption.

How many childless couples' lives could be filled with endless joy through raising and loving the Gift of God that this woman chose to kill because it was an "inconvenience"?

[Larry Lucido]

Plus my editor warned me to expect a lot of heat. Should that fear replace free speech? I think not.

"After all, it's not like I painted a cartoon of Mohammad or anything."

[MillerCreek]

MORAL ABSOLUTES Ping.

DISCUSSION ABOUT:

"MORAL RELATIVISM GONE MAD"

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To be included in or removed from the MORAL ABSOLUTES PINGLIST, please FreepMail either MillerCreek or wagglebee.

[Kimmers]

Our church offers a bible study for people such as your friend it includes men as well as women....it is done very privately and no one outside that circle know names. At the conclusion they offer a baptism for the unborn....I have heard that it is very healing for the participants....maybe a church in your area offers something similar...>I am glad to see that information is coming out about long term effects on these women....the women in this article has a cold heart

[Louis Foxwell]

Ahhh...to be like God...with the power to give or take life.
__________________________
I heard a comment the other day - I think by a TV character - to wit: "I do not want to follow a God who can not accept my choices."

[Larry Lucido]

I did what I think men do all the time when they take us to war: They choose violence because, although they believe it is bad, it is still better than the alternatives.

"Bush/Cheney/Rumsfeld/Rove did it, so it's okay for me to do it."

Of course, she still probably thinks Bush/Cheney/Rumsfeld/Rove are evil.

[MajorityOfOne]

"I was not interested in a fourth child."

Oh, well, in THAT case ---

[ladtx]

When I got pregnant with the child I call "Alma," which means soul, I was not interested in a fourth child. I chose, with some searching, to exercise my constitutional right and ended her birth.

A woman with no moral compass condemns herself in these two sentences and doesn't even realize it. If she named the aborted child Alma and admits it means soul then that fact in itself should be enough to tell her that she ended a life with a soul, clearly against God's commandments. She has no constitutional right to end her birth as she terms it.

[starfish923]

She's desperately trying to talk herself and others into MORAL RELATIVISM.

Pope Benedict's war on MORAL RELATIVISM is right on target. It's never right to do wrong (tagline)....no matter how much equivocating, adult-chatter, soul-searching and excuse-making one does. Never.
Moral absolutes and imperatives are what faith-in-action is all about.

[WorkingClassFilth]

I am a mother of three children in their 20s, and I am an ordained Christian minister.

FACT: She is the mother of FOUR children. She just happened to murder her fourth. FACT: She is not an ordained Christian minister. She is certified as a functionary in the Great Whore, but she isn't anything remotely close to a Christian.

[RichInOC]

Oh, you have no idea...

http://www.judson.org/

[madconservative]

I bet they love it.

It is becoming clearer that the pro-abortion forces are losing the battle of logic with regard to the personhood of the fetus. With more and more advances in medicine, the age of viability draws further backward. With advances in genetics, fetal imaging, etc., the fetus proves more and more a complete human every day. The problem is also the lack of a logical "it was just cells a minute ago, but now it's a baby" point, saving actual conception. That being said, they need for the debate to evolve into one that does not focus on the individual human life of the fetus.

The answer, in my opinion, will be an argument of freedom vs. life, as indicated in the above article. You will also see the argument of "self- defense" used more and more.

[calex59]

I doubt that this woman, if this person is really a woman, is a reverand. I doubt she is religous at all. I even doubt she had an abortion. I take all these stories with a grain(or pound)of salt. This may be a "true" story but then again the Dimwits lie constantly and the recent glut of false stories outlining someone's life have made me very skeptical of people that tell stories like this.

She/he/it has an agenda, and that agenda is making sure babies continue to die in the US for no other reason than the mother wants to kill them.

[facedown]

Her interview with St. Peter will be rather brief.

[starfish923]

Ok so she was not raped, it was not incest, her life was not endanger by the pregnancy. Yet abortion is still a positive moral force?
I am heartbroken that she made the choice she did. What an adult would do was chose to have the child and put her (Alma) up for adoption.

Her baby was inconvenient or imperfect.
She was simply too selfish to have the baby and give him/her up for adoption. It would have embarrassed her and interrupted her lifestyle.
THAT is the way it was.

[MamaB]

I went to her church site and it said the church is having an Anti-President Bush speaker in the next few weeks. Why wasn't I surprised?

[hellinahandcart]

If anyone's wondering about what sort of church this is, a visit to www.judson.org will more than satisfy your curiosity. Here's just a sample.

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