Posted on 02/21/2006 5:58:36 AM PST by Neville72
My Choice
Minister's abortion two decades ago was a difficult decision that still resonates with a sense of loss - but it was a mature choice and the right one
By The Rev. Donna Schaper
I am a 58-year-old white woman. I had an abortion 19 years ago. I am not bragging, nor am I apologizing.
I am a mother of three children in their 20s, and I am an ordained Christian minister. I had one child and then twins. Having twins the second time caused me my great good fortune of having three children in diapers. While nursing the twins, I did not think I needed birth control. I was wrong.
When I got pregnant with the child I call "Alma," which means soul, I was not interested in a fourth child. I chose, with some searching, to exercise my constitutional right and ended her birth.
Why do I tell my story now? Because I fear that abortion rights may become even more restricted than they already are. I also find the very intimidation that I experience in telling my story to be the reason I must speak. Why would I be afraid? Because anti-abortion people like to punish people into their version of morality. Plus my editor warned me to expect a lot of heat. Should that fear replace free speech? I think not.
I did what was right for me, for my family, for my work, for my husband and for my three children. I happen to agree that abortion is a form of murder. I think the quarrel about when life begins is disrespectful to the fetus. I know I murdered the life within me. I could have loved that life but chose not to.
I did what I think men do all the time when they take us to war: They choose violence because, although they believe it is bad, it is still better than the alternatives. The "just war" theory assumes that human beings get caught in terrible choices all the time. This freedom is not just for men; it is for women also.
When I made my choice to end one life on behalf of other life, I was terribly troubled. I was in a double bind. I prayed and anguished. Then I made a choice. Adults make choices.
I have long thought that the drama of the abortion battle was not about unborn babies at all. Instead, it is about women and sex and about women and maturity. We are considered babies, sub-adults, in need of supervision over our sexuality. Otherwise we are dangerous. The virgin/whore debates come to mind.
When I made my choice to end life, I was behaving as an adult. I did not shrink from the responsibility of making a choice. I did not ask someone else to make it for me. And I certainly did not request my government's help in my bedroom. Instead, I behaved as an adult who is also a sexual being. Things happen sexually between people that are not always controllable. The unprotected sex I had with my husband while nursing our twins had a consequence that neither of us desired. It was a human life. That's why we named her, wept for her, wanted her but also knew we did not want her enough.
Because women are mature sexual beings who make choices, birth control and abortion are positive moral forces in history. They allow sex to be both procreational and recreational, for men and for women. That is good news, even though most of the world doesn't know it yet. In Africa, for example, too many men assume the freedom to have unprotected sex with women, giving them AIDS and heartbreak. What does our so-called pro-life government recommend? Abstinence! Such a recommendation is immoral to its core.
Obviously, protected sex is the most moral thing of all. Unprotected sex is adolescent, immature, sometimes life-threatening and always stupid. Women are mature enough to handle that. We are not babies. Sometimes, in the battle over killing our babies, I hear the echo of people wanting to kill women's maturity and sexuality. I don't like it. That's why I am breaking my silence about who I am.
I am a 58-year-old sexual, mature woman. That's who I am. I had an abortion. I am not bragging and I am not apologizing.
Abortion that is legal, safe and rare is the best policy conceivable for men and women and for mature, moral sexuality.
The Rev. Donna Schaper is senior minister of Judson Memorial Church in Manhattan.
Its amazing what passes itself off as a "Rev." these days (Jesse Jackson comes to mind also) and what passes itself off as a "church"
I bet she has a difficult time being the husband of one wife.
Suppose someone intervened in her abortion and killed her, but immediately took her body to the hospital to save her unborn baby. That murderer could claim to have "ended one life on behalf of another." What do you think our legal system woukd do to such a person?
I am a 58-year-old sexual, mature woman. That's who I am. I had an abortion. I am not bragging and I am not apologizing.
Being identified as a Christian doesn't appear to be high on her list.
????
she is a reverand in the church of feminazism.....nothing more..........
I Timothy 3:2 and Titus 1:6 - something ordained this woman a minister, but it wasn't the Word of God.
Gee, she's soooooo mature.
Not to brag is one thing; not to apologize is quite something else, for someone who purports to be a "Reverend."
The woman sounds like she is in desperate need of assistance from Project Rachel.
Wow. This article is so full of flaws, fallacies, false logic, I bet even the pro-murder set can't stand it.
It is beyond bizarre that we now have significant numbers of "churches" and "ministers" that are this wacked out.
In case I was not clear, let me change a few words on her quote...
When I had my fourth child, which I called "Alma," which means soul, I was not interested in a fourth child. So I killed her in her crib.
Ahhh...to be like God...with the power to give or take life.
She must feel very powerful.
That she killed her "soul" is very appropriate here.
I guess people weren't adopting babies 19 years ago.
Unfortunately, not in these sick and crazy days and times of redefining marriage and family (but I agree with you).
The wife of a very close friend of mine had an abortion when she was a 19 year old college student 30 years ago.
She prays, and has EVERY SINGLE DAY for the last 20 YEARS, for God's forgiveness for making that decision.
My friend says she has told him that she has never been able to look at their two children, now grown, she later had without wondering what her aborted child would have looked and been like.
She is generally a happy, cheerful, positive person who's a joy to be around. But as my friend says anytime he looks at her and for no apparent reason she appears pensive, sad or depressed he knows exactly what she's thinking about----her baby that never got a chance at life.
So she admits to committing murder, using that exact term, but justifies it. I think there's a verse in Proverbs she really needs to take a second look at.
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