Posted on 12/23/2005 7:13:05 PM PST by gop4lyf
A billy goat did some rough, instant justice to the President when his motorcade stopped to refuel en-route to the eastern resorts of Nyanga. The president, popularly known as Bob got out to stretch his legs, and speak to a couple locals. He was holding a bottle of water, when a Billy goat developed a profound interest and chose to pursue it. Whilst Bob swung the bottle at the goat, it quickly and sharply pierced Bob's scrotum, and large bowel. Mugabe's notorious bodyguards seemed unable to prevent the attack as the goat lunged towards the president, perhaps the goat should be handling his security in future. By the time they reached Christmas pass outside mutare, the President was in horrible pain and had to be rushed to a secret location in Mutare for medical treatment.
It is not clear why the president was visiting Nyanga but Zimdaily understands Mugabe has a secret passion for gambling. He is rumoured to have visited Montclair Hotel in Nyanga endless times to fulfill his gambling desires, as he cannot use the facilities in Harare Showgrounds for security reasons. Grace Mugabe, the president's young wife, is believed to be in Pretoria doing what she does best, last minute shopping for Xmas.
Rumours are mounting that the couple have a strained relationship and to be in separate countries so close to the festive season is a telling indicator that this is indeed likely to be true. It is almost common knowledge that they no longer sleep in the same bed, so this twist in events is unlikely to make that much of a difference to a marriage that seems to revolve around convenience.
The president is also rumoured to be in the process of acquiring a private jet to allow him to make more frequent, long distance trips more securely and to reduce the burden of fueling hassles. He is expected to join Grace and the children in South Africa once the doctors give him the all clear.
I'm sure not a doctor but I beleive the large one is below the small one.
Gotta admit, if this is true, the goat did a great job.
Betcha it hurt.....
I'm glad I'm not the only one wondering that.
Goat Shishka-Bob.
But first, aren't you supposed to cry "Havoc!"?
I was going to the book shelf to find my PJ O'Rourke section, to recall the exact quote, thanks.
(. . . wonder if the goat story is cover for an attack by a jealous husband?)
That goat qualifies as a weapon of nads destruction.
Viking goats?
Sounds like they were a long way from medical help. Pierced gut plus time equals death. Wonder if there is any antibiotic strong enough in that country to take care of that? How good are the medical facilities there?
The goat was just trying to help Bob over the fence. Honest.
Hmmm, appears to be a real story. Sure do hate it.
Hope they didn't punish the goat.
MM
Was thinking along the same lines.
Large intestine is where the fecal matter collects.
If ruptured and contents spill into the abdominal cavity bad stuff can happen.
Peronitus </sp gangrene etc.
Lets all hope Ole Bob has a slow, painful lingering death.
I've read through the text several times, and it NEVER says that the goat used its horns to inflict the damage. Perhaps the goat was engaging in other activities with him when the injuries occured. Recall the fellow up in the Pacific Northwest who recently died while at a stable. The injuries there were somewhat similar.
Yo Bobby, how ya hangin?
Yet more proof that there IS a God and he's got a sense of humor.
Looks like a small goat, doesn't have big enough horns.
Coverup story for possible asassination attempt?
Wow this is excellent news!! Just about made my day :)
But before I go spreading the good news with everyone I know, can anyone confirm this story from MSNBC or CNN, or another reliable news service?
I'm not doubting the story, but I googled it under News and Web and the only match was the same source as the article in this thread.
Considering that the author of the article seems hostile towards Mugabe, is there anywhere else this story is reported? Otherwise it may just be a joke :(
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