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Billy Bashes Bob (Mugabe gets gored by billy goat)
http://zimdaily.com/news2/article.php/20051221063315837.html ^

Posted on 12/23/2005 7:13:05 PM PST by gop4lyf

A billy goat did some rough, instant justice to the President when his motorcade stopped to refuel en-route to the eastern resorts of Nyanga. The president, popularly known as Bob got out to stretch his legs, and speak to a couple locals. He was holding a bottle of water, when a Billy goat developed a profound interest and chose to pursue it. Whilst Bob swung the bottle at the goat, it quickly and sharply pierced Bob's scrotum, and large bowel. Mugabe's notorious bodyguards seemed unable to prevent the attack as the goat lunged towards the president, perhaps the goat should be handling his security in future. By the time they reached Christmas pass outside mutare, the President was in horrible pain and had to be rushed to a secret location in Mutare for medical treatment.

It is not clear why the president was visiting Nyanga but Zimdaily understands Mugabe has a secret passion for gambling. He is rumoured to have visited Montclair Hotel in Nyanga endless times to fulfill his gambling desires, as he cannot use the facilities in Harare Showgrounds for security reasons. Grace Mugabe, the president's young wife, is believed to be in Pretoria doing what she does best, last minute shopping for Xmas.

Rumours are mounting that the couple have a strained relationship and to be in separate countries so close to the festive season is a telling indicator that this is indeed likely to be true. It is almost common knowledge that they no longer sleep in the same bed, so this twist in events is unlikely to make that much of a difference to a marriage that seems to revolve around convenience.

The president is also rumoured to be in the process of acquiring a private jet to allow him to make more frequent, long distance trips more securely and to reduce the burden of fueling hassles. He is expected to join Grace and the children in South Africa once the doctors give him the all clear.


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: mugabe; ownage; owned; pwn3d; pwn4g3
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To: Vicomte13
Isn't the large intestine above the small intestine? How could billy get scrotum and large intestine at same time? Must have made a second and upward thrust.
41 posted on 12/23/2005 7:31:36 PM PST by luvbach1 (Near the belly of the beast in San Diego)
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To: luvbach1

I'm sure not a doctor but I beleive the large one is below the small one.

Gotta admit, if this is true, the goat did a great job.

Betcha it hurt.....


42 posted on 12/23/2005 7:33:35 PM PST by 76834 (There's nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation.)
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To: domenad

I'm glad I'm not the only one wondering that.


43 posted on 12/23/2005 7:33:36 PM PST by FreedomPoster (Guns themselves are fairly robust; their chief enemies are rust and politicians) (NRA)
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To: gop4lyf
Whilst Bob swung the bottle at the goat, it quickly and sharply pierced Bob's scrotum, and large bowel.

Goat Shishka-Bob.

44 posted on 12/23/2005 7:33:58 PM PST by Squeako (ACLU: "Only Christians, Boy Scouts and War Memorials are too vile to defend.")
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To: perfect stranger
"Let loose the goats of war."

But first, aren't you supposed to cry "Havoc!"?

45 posted on 12/23/2005 7:34:14 PM PST by Redbob
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To: Redbob

I was going to the book shelf to find my PJ O'Rourke section, to recall the exact quote, thanks.


46 posted on 12/23/2005 7:36:48 PM PST by perfect stranger
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To: gop4lyf
Aw, c'mon, this can't possibly be true!

(. . . wonder if the goat story is cover for an attack by a jealous husband?)

47 posted on 12/23/2005 7:37:11 PM PST by AnAmericanMother (. . . Ministrix of ye Chace (recess appointment), TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary . . .)
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To: gop4lyf

That goat qualifies as a weapon of nads destruction.


48 posted on 12/23/2005 7:37:46 PM PST by hometoroost (TSA = Thousands Standing Around)
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To: gop4lyf

Viking goats?


49 posted on 12/23/2005 7:37:48 PM PST by stbdside
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To: gop4lyf
By the time they reached Christmas pass outside mutare, the President was in horrible pain and had to be rushed to a secret location in Mutare for medical treatment.

Sounds like they were a long way from medical help. Pierced gut plus time equals death. Wonder if there is any antibiotic strong enough in that country to take care of that? How good are the medical facilities there?

50 posted on 12/23/2005 7:38:38 PM PST by McGavin999 (If Intelligence Agencies can't find leakers, how can we expect them to find terrorists?)
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To: gop4lyf

The goat was just trying to help Bob over the fence. Honest.


51 posted on 12/23/2005 7:38:41 PM PST by RichInOC ("Lovin' ewe is easy 'cause ewe're beautiful...makin' love with ewe is all I want to do...")
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To: gop4lyf

Hmmm, appears to be a real story. Sure do hate it.

Hope they didn't punish the goat.

MM


52 posted on 12/23/2005 7:40:08 PM PST by MississippiMan (Behold now behemoth...he moves his tail like a cedar. Job 40:17)
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To: McGavin999

Was thinking along the same lines.

Large intestine is where the fecal matter collects.
If ruptured and contents spill into the abdominal cavity bad stuff can happen.
Peronitus </sp gangrene etc.

Lets all hope Ole Bob has a slow, painful lingering death.


53 posted on 12/23/2005 7:43:32 PM PST by 76834 (There's nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation.)
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To: Vicomte13
I've never seen one with RAZOR SHARP HORNS.

I've read through the text several times, and it NEVER says that the goat used its horns to inflict the damage. Perhaps the goat was engaging in other activities with him when the injuries occured. Recall the fellow up in the Pacific Northwest who recently died while at a stable. The injuries there were somewhat similar.

54 posted on 12/23/2005 7:43:47 PM PST by PAR35
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To: PAR35

Yo Bobby, how ya hangin?


55 posted on 12/23/2005 7:44:37 PM PST by umgud (uncompassionate conservative)
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To: gop4lyf

Yet more proof that there IS a God and he's got a sense of humor.


56 posted on 12/23/2005 7:45:07 PM PST by joebuck
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To: Battle Axe

Looks like a small goat, doesn't have big enough horns.

57 posted on 12/23/2005 7:46:55 PM PST by FairOpinion (Merry Christmas!)
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To: gop4lyf
Mugabe Gored?

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

Better him than us!

58 posted on 12/23/2005 7:52:27 PM PST by WideGlide (That light at the end of the tunnel might be a muzzle flash.)
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To: gop4lyf

Coverup story for possible asassination attempt?


59 posted on 12/23/2005 8:11:37 PM PST by Old Flat Toad (Pima County, home of the single vehicle accident with 40 victims.)
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To: gop4lyf; All

Wow this is excellent news!! Just about made my day :)

But before I go spreading the good news with everyone I know, can anyone confirm this story from MSNBC or CNN, or another reliable news service?

I'm not doubting the story, but I googled it under News and Web and the only match was the same source as the article in this thread.

Considering that the author of the article seems hostile towards Mugabe, is there anywhere else this story is reported? Otherwise it may just be a joke :(


60 posted on 12/23/2005 8:12:45 PM PST by Hill of Tara
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