Posted on 07/31/2005 3:19:52 PM PDT by mlmr
So I have been trying to rent an apartment in my home...and all I have answering the ads are boyfriends and girlfriends. No matter what social status, no matter what income level, I am seeing unmarried twenty, thirty and forty year old couples who want to live together. If I question them, they don't even understand why I am asking.
These are Christians and Jews. I was so surprised to find that it would be so difficult to find a young married couple.
Tell me Dear Freeper...am I totally out of the ballgame to expect to find a young married couple? Am I expecting something that just isn't in our culture anymore?
I disagree with you. Love does not conquer all. People who think that way usually end up in divorce court.
It did, in that she was afraid that we would get married, and I wouldn't be able to handle living with her episodes all the time while she tries to work it all out, and I would leave her. Neither of us ever want to get a divorce, we want to be married once and stay married. When we got married, that was it for us. So partly the cohabitation trial was also reassurement for her.
BPD isn't easy, but if you know what you're dealing with, it's okay. If you don't know what's going on though, it'll destroy you in short time. The fact that she knows she has a problem is half the battle, so I have hope..
And to you and your family as well.
Roger that.
Nympho's are wackier than Sh** house Rats.
Married sex is definitely better than single sex, I agree.
Don't make me turn this thread around ;~D
We don't think we want to.... but that's just us. We married pretty late and I no longer think babies look like all that much fun, and children are fun visitors, but where would I keep them if they stayed here :~D LOL
I don't agree with you on everything you said, but I will agree that the stereotype of married love being dull and boring is a load of crap.
Aye, nothing beats married sex. When you know a person inside out, and they bring out the strongest feelings in you, there's no such thing as bad sex.
Nobody's talking about casually shacking up for sex. If I'm going to be living with someone it's because I think I'm in love with them.
If I'm doing that before marriage it's because I want to make sure I'm in love with them, and not with an ideal or a person I only partially know because I've only known her in just a few of the situations which life offers.
**I disagree with you. Love does not conquer all. People who think that way usually end up in divorce court.**
If your selling your advice for 2 cents, you're definitely charging too much. :)
Too true, especially today..
Gal 6:7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
I underwent a 3-month trial period living with my then-fiancee in an apartment, because we both wanted to make sure we were doing the right thing by getting married, and that we would coexist well under the same roof. The experiment was a success, and we took that final step. It had nothing to do with just having a place to screw all the time, it was about being responsible and making sure we were both ready for the final committment, or if we should just stay dating for a while.
I guess that makes us mortal sinners. *shrug* Whatever..
My wife and I moved in approximately 5 months before we got married -- we were already engaged.
We would spend Sundays just checking out open houses -- we intended to buy a house after getting married. But there was literally nothing we could afford that was acceptable. One house we looked at, for instance, was ok, except that the second floor was only four feet tall (like that Geico commercial). Another had no bathroom upstairs, one had a ladder, not a staircase, going upstairs. And this was in 2002, and all the houses cost over half a million bucks. It was Greenwich, CT. One house had the only bathroom off the dining room. Must have been great at a dinner party.
Anyway, we did see a house we liked, and while it was close to the highway, it was barely in our price range, and it gave us reassurance that there'd be something out there. Every house we looked at we compared to this particular house, which while it had some flaws, we could transform it into something nice (it was occupied by a single dad and the three teenage sons). Anyway, about two months later, this house reappeared on the market: the original buyer's mortgage fell through. I had set up various auto email filters to email me when new houses were listed, and this one came on the market on a weekday. My fiancee and I decided, just on a whim, to make a lowball offer.
Well, the guy accepted -- he now was the proud owner of two houses. So we got an acceptable house a few months before making our marriage official, but we had dated for two years at that point. So I didn't think I was committing some huge moral sin or anything.
Yeah, my parents were upset, but then they were able to buy their first house for $12,000 or some damned thing, and while there's been inflation, it's not been that high.
We sold our first house just over two years after living there. Our profit on the house was over $10,000 per month for every month we lived there, and of course that $250K was also totally tax-free. So, no, I don't have any major regrets. Of course, it's totally different than renting a place with some girl I'd known for three months.
To tell you the truth, I didn't think it was quite so pervasive.
Exactly, things aren't black and white. Not all couples who live together before marriage have been dating for a couple months and just need a place with a bed to screw on.
I know I lived with my gonna be wife, both times before I got married. In both cases it was simple economics: we needed to economize, we needed to plan our wedding for a time when people could get together from all across the country...
Lack of morals leave us valuing the wrong set of standards.
Congatualations!
It appears the stars lined up nicely for you and the opportunity to make your decisions between the two of you without parental distractions paid off.
I was greatly impressed with some of the horrific choices of housing in your area and your ability to stay on top of the opportunities available.
The fact that you were able to increase your equity in such a short period of time indicates that you and your wife are able to sit down and make important econonic decisions that better your situation.
You can't buy that kind of partnership.
Why, because you got a good deal on a house? That "totally different" line is the one everybody uses for any and every sin they're caught committing. It's especially popular with adolescents.
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