Posted on 07/31/2005 3:19:52 PM PDT by mlmr
So I have been trying to rent an apartment in my home...and all I have answering the ads are boyfriends and girlfriends. No matter what social status, no matter what income level, I am seeing unmarried twenty, thirty and forty year old couples who want to live together. If I question them, they don't even understand why I am asking.
These are Christians and Jews. I was so surprised to find that it would be so difficult to find a young married couple.
Tell me Dear Freeper...am I totally out of the ballgame to expect to find a young married couple? Am I expecting something that just isn't in our culture anymore?
Yes but how many men will put up with living with a girl if he isn't SLEEPING with her?
IMHO there is nothing wrong with two adults living together waiting to maybe or maybe not marrying later. People do not need the courts to dictate that. Couples can and do give their vows to one another without being under the watchful eye of the law. Two people can commit to one another without the consent or the license required by local authorities.
I think that the values of the underclass became the values of the mainstream.
Ain't that the truth. Another lesson for the masses. The relationship minima is much shallower when one does not live with their girlfriend/boyfriend, making it easier to bail when appropriate.
(Sorry for bad spelling upthread)
Not many, I'll admit to you. But we are out there. My wife was suffering from cystitis bouts for a majority of the time we were trial-living together, which meant sex was a no-no. It never really became an issue.
stop making sense....
Oh puleeze...what a drama queen you be.
Thanks, but I think she'd laugh to hear it offered. Over here I think we're resourceful enough to get by without anyone's rude and unasked for "pity".
I agree wholeheartedly.
While I'm not a huge advocate of living together first, as a technical nit the particular study you are referring to has very rightly been shredded as being statistically meaningless due to signficantly biased samples.
I underwent a 3-month trial period living with my then-fiancee in an apartment, because we both wanted to make sure we were doing the right thing by getting married, and that we would coexist well under the same roof. The experiment was a success, and we took that final step. It had nothing to do with just having a place to screw all the time, it was about being responsible and making sure we were both ready for the final committment, or if we should just stay dating for a while.
In my value system yes...you should have stayed dating. What would have happened if something came up that you didnt like, or that she didnt like, just toss the relationship over? Marriage is about making it work not playing house.
But living together is a lot different from the courtship before, and as the divorce rate shows,
The divorce rate shows that people who live together before marriage have significantly higher divorce rates than those who do not live together.
That is actually a really good compromise, in terms of bang for the buck. I do not know how many people have the discipline for it though (damn few I'd guess).
I'm amazed at how many people prefer a new car, new computer, new home to a used one.
The denial about wanting a virgin spouse is nearly universal and starts when hormone-crazed boys ginned up by a sex-obsessed culture fail to be protectors of women--and treat them like Bill Clinton has done, with Hillary's enabling.
I say nearly universal, for indeed, seven thousand have not yet, um, bent the knee ...
That doesn't solve your rental problem, it's just an observation from one of the 7000 looking for a like one, or one widowed or Biblically divorced--or more importantly in this day and age--learning to love and accept unconditionally, as Jesus did.
We had our share of spats, it had nothing to do with being "perfect". For your information, my wife is BPD, and that means a HELL of a lot of work holding our relationship together while she fights that. Accusing us of "playing house" is an insult, and I'm extremely offended.
God amighty. How sad is that for her?
And incredibly common. That experience is reshaping society.
I wasn't the one who made the comparison, which I found silly anyway. I agree with what you say about a relationship. I do not agree, however, that one develops more calloused emotions and broken hearts than the other.
HA! HA! If you're serious, you need to get out more. Where you're living isn't reality.
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