FReeper Canteen~What Makes You Laugh?~July 28, 2005~

July 27, 2005 | bentfeather

[Soaring Feather]

For the freedom you enjoyed yesterday...
Thank the Veterans who served in The United States Armed Forces.

Looking forward to tomorrow's freedom?
Support The United States Armed Forces Today!

Good morning TROOPS!!
What makes you laugh??
Post your funny cartoons, jokes, anything you enjoy!

This one always cracks me up!

You Might Be A Soldier If..

Silly cartoon characters??

What tickles your funny bone??
A good joke, funny cartoons, a practical joker?

Computer humor?

"Why We Love Kids"

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"

2. HONESTY

My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago."

3. OPINIONS

On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."

4. KETCHUP

A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang, so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."

5. MORE NUDITY

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

6. POLICE # 1

While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help, I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"

7. POLICE # 2

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"

8. ELDERLY

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

9. DRESS-UP

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."

10. DEATH

While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaaaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he gooooes."

11. SCHOOL

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk."

12. BIBLE

A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear."

bentfeather

[Kathy in Alaska]

Happy lunch!!

[beachn4fun]

Hiya Esmeralda

[beachn4fun]

LOL. You must be related to tomkow

[Kathy in Alaska]

We had some nice rain last night.....steady and not too hard. The lawns were very happy. Still overcast now.

[luvie]

Just remember that when you need a hug or a lift from whatever's bugging ya!

[blackie]

Thanks Ms Feather ~ I have a pretty good library and when not listening to my CD's I check this site out:

http://www.jazzplayerradio.com/

We also have Sirus channels on DISH TV and listen to these (just put 60 in front of each number) channels:

http://www.sirius.com/servlet/ContentServer?pagename=Sirius/CachedPage&c=Page&cid=1065475754212

The selections you send are always appropriate!

{{HUGS}}

[EsmeraldaA]

Hey beachn! What's up!

[Lady Jag]

Hi! We should go out for a drink!

[EsmeraldaA]

Love Ya!

[luvie]

Here's something that will lift all of our hearts!

WONDERFUL PICTURES OF OUR MAGNIFICENT MILITARY AT WORK!!!!

God bless them every one!!

[MoJo2001]

Good afternoon Troops, Veterans, family members, and Canteeners!!

How's everyone today?

Hope all is well!!
 

Today has seen the arrival *SHAME ON THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY FOR LETTING THEM IN THE COUNTRY* of 6 Samoan cousins from Australia and New Zealand. (Mind you--MoJo was only told that 5 were coming.)

So? Please say *HELLO* to Simon (Aussie), Keifi (Aussie), Matty (Aussie), Kimo and Fatu who are both Kiwis. As Timmy has pointed out, "they talk strange" and Daddy won't be happy to know they've come inside the house. Thankfully, Kimo has pointed out that The Sailor will be thankful not to have to see the Aussie cousins in the house. As Kimo tells it: "Your Dad will be grateful not to see these bloody blokes". Oh!! We'll need to go over saying those words in my house. Don't want The Sailor to hear his sons using those *colorful* things when he returns.

Timmy really likes Kimo and Fatu, but he's not sure about Keifi and Matty. They're both intimidating to look at. (I might point out they look no different than Kimo and Fatu.)  Kimo told Timmy that while he should try to be nice to them...it isn't necessary because they hail from Australia. This is going to be comical. Timmy also pointed out that Lamont and Rene will be irritated that they're here. Since they've told Timmy that he has to report back to them if anything *bad* is going on. Timmy considers this to be bad. He's worried that The Sailor is going to be angry that I let men in through the door.  Hehe! He doesn't care that they're related to us. The only men walking through the doors should be my brothers, my Dad, or The Sailor.

Keifi, Fatu, and Matty were all raised with MoJo in American Samoa. There were 9 of us raised by my great grandparents. For 3 years, we tormented everyone there especially our Aunts and Uncles. I was the first to leave American Samoa and I didn't realize until today how badly I've missed these crazy fools.

We're planning on a family reunion in the next year. If that comes through, we will see the reuniting of 103 first cousins. There were more, but 9 cousins have died. The oldest of all the cousins is Maka'a and he's 53. He's old, huh? Hehe! Just kidding! Anyhoo, MoJo has the unfortunate honor of being the oldest female cousin. And since there are only 7 female cousins...that doesn't make me very happy. UGH! LOL!

Keifi, Fatu, and Matty all have wives and kids back home. They aren't doing much to improve the female population in the family. Keifi has 5 boys while the other two have three boys each. And they would have to point out that I'm not doing a very good job either. That's not the point. I'm not genetically coded to decide gender anyways. Of course, this is a match of wills today. None of us are used to not having the last word on anything. Which is why my Dad is thankful to not be related anymore. Hehehe!

The guys will be heading out tomorrow for our little cousin Bridget's wedding. Keifi is the oldest male cousin there and Bridget's three brothers are all on deployment somewhere around the world. Also, Bridget's father isn't Samoan and since she wanted to have a *traditional* Samoan wedding this was necessary. What was she thinking doing it the Fa'a way? So? Keifi will walk her down the aisle keeping with our tradition.

MoJo was the only female cousin to have our great grandfather walk her down the aisle. Hadn't realized it until I was reminded about Bridget. It seemed appropriate since I was the only female great grandchild that he helped to raise.

Kimo and Fatu would like for MoJo and family to move to Texas as soon as possible. It will make visits a lot easier. Since we have quite a few cousins living there. (Which I didn't realize until today.)

On a funny note, Fatu doesn't talk much. How can he? He's the only one of us that has sisters. Anyhoo, this fact annoys Timmy. Timmy is like The Sailor and loves to talk a lot. Unlike MoJo...of course! Hehe!

Anyways, Mags and Mali will be by later to meet all the guys. Mali is really looking forward to it because I hadn't realized that her father is also a Kiwi.

And they brought corned beef with biscuits. (Bobby refers to them as the hardest cracker he's ever eaten in his life.) YUMMY! YUMMY! YUMMY! YUMMY!! And someone else in this house will finally eat tea and rice together. My boys aren't down for that. WHATEVER!!

Be back later!

*HUGS* to all!!

[luvie]

LUV you too, Es!!!

[Soaring Feather]

Thank You blackie. I have some Buddy Rich coming up. Hope you enjoy it.

Also, thanks for the links.

[Soaring Feather]

ROTFLOL!!! I remember those dicky birds, my uncle had one. Egads.

[NRA1995]

Hugs back!

[luvie]

HELLO MOJO'S SAMOAN COUSINS.
MAKE HER BEHAVE HERSELF!!!!
HAVE A GOOD TIME!

[TASMANIANRED]

Thistle and artichoke have to be related.

[BIGLOOK]

Talofa all!

[luvie]

Man! You just toss these little stink-bombs and run away! I hope as you're running, the Boss takes a bite outta ya! LOL!

[blackie]

You're welcome and thanks for Buddy Rich ~ I only have him on vinyl. :)