Posted on 07/27/2005 7:36:35 PM PDT by Soaring Feather
|
Okay--here's one for you!
The Guys' Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys' side of the story.
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up; you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Better?
LOL
You sound like Mr.B!!
I want a Euro styling kit on her..
Sigh..
Why couldn't I have been rich instead of good looking?
;o)
Ms.B
One outta two ain't bad. :-)
I have a Japanese car--but I would never even pretend that it is hot! They sound like an angry bee when guys try to rev them at a light. It is laughable.
They haven't made anything since the early 90's that has any kind of power. All the EPA crud has ruined fast cars!
This is what I want her to look like!
Someday...
Sorry I didn't answer you before, I had to log off.
Awwwww--what a cute little car. Is this the one you drove today? What kind is it...it looks like an Escort.
This really tick me off there is report off BBC wire that Van Gogh killer who may be link to terror group and be in charge in the morning claim that there was talk of Al Quada going after LAX my hometown airport in 2001 before Sept 11 couldn't get the plan together
THAT TICK ME OFF
Hi, again, Es! Wondered where ya went--then I had to go, too. Then I came back and you didn't and now you're here! And--it's nearly 1am again. I can't seem to give up early!
Es.....((HUGS)) how are you this evening? Good day?
It's so easy! LOL!
!!!!!!!!
An ESCORT??
LOL
No, that's a vintage VW Scirocco...
It's a low slung really fast car...
Handles like a dream...
It's what an Escort wants to be when it grows up!
LOL
My daily driver is a black VW Jetta
Ms.B
Oops! Sorry Lucretia!
It just sorta looks like the "vintage" Escort my son drove when he was in college. LOL!
You must really love VW's. We had a VW 411 once. Silver. It was so neat that we had storage in the front and in the back--it was a station wagon....engine in the rear underneath the deck. I loved that car...but we were always having problems with it.
Welcome to the Canteen, gonzo. Good joke. Cool cop car....looks like Kern county, CA.
NOT COOL there another report off Interfax wire main Russia beer and vodka company is saying they may folded or file Russian version of Chapter 11 because of down profit and Russia govt telling them stop produce beer to youth market LOL!
Report is that same Russian company may sell their Russia company go to Chicago Great Cubs and Bears fan get all loaded
I think Vlad forget that shalt not strict drinking of beer
Yeah, yeah! We know how gramma's are!
Just kidding--I'll bet she really is an angel. Does she have lots of hair? What color is it? What color are her eyes? Is she gaining weight well? How're the proud parents doing?
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.