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FReeper Canteen~What Makes You Laugh?~July 28, 2005~
July 27, 2005 | bentfeather

Posted on 07/27/2005 7:36:35 PM PDT by Soaring Feather


For the freedom you enjoyed yesterday...
Thank the Veterans who served in The United States Armed Forces.

Looking forward to tomorrow's freedom?
Support The United States Armed Forces Today!

Good morning TROOPS!!
What makes you laugh??
Post your funny cartoons, jokes, anything you enjoy!


This one always cracks me up!


You Might Be A Soldier If..


Silly cartoon characters??

What tickles your funny bone??
A good joke, funny cartoons, a practical joker?




Computer humor?


"Why We Love Kids"



I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"


2. HONESTY

My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago."

3. OPINIONS


On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."

4. KETCHUP

A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang, so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."

5. MORE NUDITY

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

6. POLICE # 1

While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help, I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"

7. POLICE # 2

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"

8. ELDERLY

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

9. DRESS-UP

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."

10. DEATH

While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaaaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he gooooes."

11. SCHOOL

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk."

12. BIBLE

A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear."


bentfeather



TOPICS: Culture/Society; Extended News; Free Republic
KEYWORDS: 954; airforce; army; bethylovestomkow6; coastguard; familysupport; fun; humor; information; marines; militarysupport; nationalguard; navy; piper; veterans
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To: bentfeather; HiJinx; All
Mannheim Streamroller ~ Little Drummer Boy

1,061 posted on 07/28/2005 6:51:34 PM PDT by Kathy in Alaska ((~ www.ProudPatriots.org ~ coming soon ~Operation Semper Fi ~a field hospital~)
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To: Old Sarge

Do you have time? There's been lots of good music tonight! If not--I'll wait.......

1,062 posted on 07/28/2005 6:52:38 PM PDT by luvie (God bless America and God bless and protect our troops!!)
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To: Kathy in Alaska; Old Sarge

Mannheim Streamroller ~ Little Drummer Boy


Great song Ma. Celebrating Sarge's visit tonight.


1,063 posted on 07/28/2005 6:53:00 PM PDT by Soaring Feather (This Little Light of Mine)
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To: Kathy in Alaska

It would be very hard to top last nights capper for the evening.

Busy today but not the insane level of yesterday.


1,064 posted on 07/28/2005 6:53:04 PM PDT by TASMANIANRED (Democrats haven't had a new idea since Karl Marx.)
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To: Old Sarge

ROFL - just like old times!


1,065 posted on 07/28/2005 6:53:11 PM PDT by StarCMC (Old Sarge is my hero...doing it right in Iraq! Vaya con Dios, Sarge.)
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To: Old Sarge

SSarge....((HUGS)) Is it almost 0600? A night shift for you. It's great to "see" you and your captions. Hope you and The Kids are all learning to manage the sand and the heat.


1,066 posted on 07/28/2005 6:54:20 PM PDT by Kathy in Alaska ((~ www.ProudPatriots.org ~ coming soon ~Operation Semper Fi ~a field hospital~)
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To: Old Sarge

ROFL!!!! Those are great captions!....unauthorized mousse gel indeed! LOL!


1,067 posted on 07/28/2005 6:54:44 PM PDT by luvie (God bless America and God bless and protect our troops!!)
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To: StarCMC; NYTexan

.......not to be rushing you or anything like that......hee-hee! Need some help?


1,068 posted on 07/28/2005 6:56:13 PM PDT by luvie (God bless America and God bless and protect our troops!!)
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To: Old Sarge

LOL! Funny!


1,069 posted on 07/28/2005 6:56:40 PM PDT by EsmeraldaA (That witch does not kill me, makes me stronger (NIETZSCHE))
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To: EsmeraldaA

It's only a spider!


1,070 posted on 07/28/2005 6:57:20 PM PDT by Lady Jag (Honor - Dignity - Courage)
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To: StarCMC; LUV W

Too funny! My Mom grew up in Minnesota, but had NO trouble pickin' up the Texas twang real quick, LOL!


1,071 posted on 07/28/2005 6:58:26 PM PDT by laurenmarlowe
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To: Smartass
Helen Thomas is vowing to 'kill herself' if Dick Cheney announces he is running for president.

"Okay, Helen, I am announcing EARLY. Start your engines!"


1,072 posted on 07/28/2005 6:58:47 PM PDT by bitt ('We will all soon reap what the ignorant are now sowing.' Victor Davis Hanson)
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To: bentfeather; All
Mitch Miller ~ the 12 Days of Christmas

1,073 posted on 07/28/2005 6:58:52 PM PDT by Kathy in Alaska ((~ www.ProudPatriots.org ~ coming soon ~Operation Semper Fi ~a field hospital~)
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To: LUV W; PhilDragoo; Ragtime Cowgirl; Cindy; SusanTK; AdmSmith; Valin; ALOHA RONNIE; MeekOneGOP; ...
The Democrats



1,074 posted on 07/28/2005 6:59:18 PM PDT by Smartass (Si vis pacem, para bellum - Por el dedo de Dios se escribió)
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To: Smartass; Zacs Mom; MeekOneGOP; PhilDragoo; Happy2BMe; potlatch; ntnychik; Boazo; devolve; ...

REPORTER VOWS TO 'KILL SELF' IF CHENEY
RUNS FOR PRESIDENT
Thu Jul 28 2005 15:32:13 ET


Veteran wire reporter Helen Thomas is vowing to 'kill herself'
if Dick Cheney announces he is running for president.
The newspaper HILL first reported the startling claim on Thursday.
MORE
"The day Dick Cheney is going to run for president, I'll kill myself,"
she told the HILL. "All we need is one more liar."
Thomas added, "I think he'd like to run, but it would be a sad day
for the country if he does."

by Smartass


1,075 posted on 07/28/2005 7:00:21 PM PDT by bitt ('We will all soon reap what the ignorant are now sowing.' Victor Davis Hanson)
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To: bitt

:o)


1,076 posted on 07/28/2005 7:00:27 PM PDT by Smartass (Si vis pacem, para bellum - Por el dedo de Dios se escribió)
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To: Lady Jag
*It's only a spider!*

YIKES!!
1,077 posted on 07/28/2005 7:01:32 PM PDT by EsmeraldaA (That witch does not kill me, makes me stronger (NIETZSCHE))
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To: Old Sarge

And The Shadow speaks........with words of wisdom. Nice.


1,078 posted on 07/28/2005 7:03:02 PM PDT by Kathy in Alaska ((~ www.ProudPatriots.org ~ coming soon ~Operation Semper Fi ~a field hospital~)
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To: Old Sarge
{{{Hi Sarge!!}}}

1,079 posted on 07/28/2005 7:03:35 PM PDT by laurenmarlowe
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To: bitt

"Okay, Helen, I am announcing EARLY. Start your engines!"


OMG that is hilarious!!


1,080 posted on 07/28/2005 7:03:42 PM PDT by Soaring Feather (This Little Light of Mine)
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