Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

FReeper Canteen~What Makes You Laugh?~July 28, 2005~
July 27, 2005 | bentfeather

Posted on 07/27/2005 7:36:35 PM PDT by Soaring Feather


For the freedom you enjoyed yesterday...
Thank the Veterans who served in The United States Armed Forces.

Looking forward to tomorrow's freedom?
Support The United States Armed Forces Today!

Good morning TROOPS!!
What makes you laugh??
Post your funny cartoons, jokes, anything you enjoy!


This one always cracks me up!


You Might Be A Soldier If..


Silly cartoon characters??

What tickles your funny bone??
A good joke, funny cartoons, a practical joker?




Computer humor?


"Why We Love Kids"



I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"


2. HONESTY

My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago."

3. OPINIONS


On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."

4. KETCHUP

A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang, so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."

5. MORE NUDITY

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

6. POLICE # 1

While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help, I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"

7. POLICE # 2

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"

8. ELDERLY

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

9. DRESS-UP

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."

10. DEATH

While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaaaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he gooooes."

11. SCHOOL

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk."

12. BIBLE

A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear."


bentfeather



TOPICS: Culture/Society; Extended News; Free Republic
KEYWORDS: 954; airforce; army; bethylovestomkow6; coastguard; familysupport; fun; humor; information; marines; militarysupport; nationalguard; navy; piper; veterans
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 981-1,0001,001-1,0201,021-1,040 ... 1,161-1,179 next last
To: All

mine!!!!!


1,001 posted on 07/28/2005 6:08:43 PM PDT by Soaring Feather (This Little Light of Mine)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 998 | View Replies]

To: laurenmarlowe

1000?


1,002 posted on 07/28/2005 6:09:01 PM PDT by StarCMC (Old Sarge is my hero...doing it right in Iraq! Vaya con Dios, Sarge.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 998 | View Replies]

To: laurenmarlowe

1000?


1,003 posted on 07/28/2005 6:09:03 PM PDT by StarCMC (Old Sarge is my hero...doing it right in Iraq! Vaya con Dios, Sarge.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 998 | View Replies]

To: laurenmarlowe

Hello lauren!


1,004 posted on 07/28/2005 6:09:17 PM PDT by EsmeraldaA (That witch does not kill me, makes me stronger (NIETZSCHE))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 998 | View Replies]

To: bentfeather

BratFeather!


1,005 posted on 07/28/2005 6:09:40 PM PDT by StarCMC (Old Sarge is my hero...doing it right in Iraq! Vaya con Dios, Sarge.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1000 | View Replies]

To: laurenmarlowe

'Tis a goody. I love it, too.


1,006 posted on 07/28/2005 6:09:45 PM PDT by Soaring Feather (This Little Light of Mine)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 998 | View Replies]

To: EsmeraldaA

I'm ready if you are

1,007 posted on 07/28/2005 6:09:49 PM PDT by Lady Jag (Honor - Dignity - Courage)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 988 | View Replies]

To: Lady Jag
OMG!!YIKES!!
1,008 posted on 07/28/2005 6:12:05 PM PDT by EsmeraldaA (That witch does not kill me, makes me stronger (NIETZSCHE))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1007 | View Replies]

To: LUV W

Evening LUV! LOL, I ALMOST had a new pic of the kittens today, they were being FAIRLY calm, came in to get the camera, and went back outside 30 seconds later and they scooted off somewhere! LUV has not changed hardly at all from that picture.


1,009 posted on 07/28/2005 6:12:06 PM PDT by laurenmarlowe
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 996 | View Replies]

To: tomkow6

Hi Tom! Looks like a great party!


1,010 posted on 07/28/2005 6:13:00 PM PDT by laurenmarlowe
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 958 | View Replies]

To: StarCMC; bentfeather

ROFL, y'all are wayyyyyyy too fast for me!


1,011 posted on 07/28/2005 6:14:32 PM PDT by laurenmarlowe
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1003 | View Replies]

To: EsmeraldaA

Good evening to you Esmeralda! Didya have a good day today?


1,012 posted on 07/28/2005 6:15:12 PM PDT by laurenmarlowe
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1004 | View Replies]

To: laurenmarlowe

LOL!! It's that SLOW Texas drawl you got! He he he


1,013 posted on 07/28/2005 6:16:32 PM PDT by StarCMC (Old Sarge is my hero...doing it right in Iraq! Vaya con Dios, Sarge.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1011 | View Replies]

To: tomkow6

You are pretty in pink. :) But what will the voices say? I missed you today! Except, I did hit a lot more 50 numbers and WooHoo's with you gone, LOL!. ;). Looks like you had a great day!


1,014 posted on 07/28/2005 6:16:55 PM PDT by GodBlessUSA (US Troops, past, present and future, God Bless You and Thank You! Prayers said for our Heroes!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 984 | View Replies]

To: Common Tator

Great pictures of the Patton museum--thanks so much for sharing them with us!


1,015 posted on 07/28/2005 6:19:04 PM PDT by luvie (God bless America and God bless and protect our troops!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 921 | View Replies]

To: StarCMC
"It's that SLOW Texas drawl you got!"

Yep, and mine's purdy bad, LOL!!!

1,016 posted on 07/28/2005 6:20:10 PM PDT by laurenmarlowe
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1013 | View Replies]

To: laurenmarlowe

Yes I did lauren. How about yours? Good, I hope?


1,017 posted on 07/28/2005 6:20:56 PM PDT by EsmeraldaA (That witch does not kill me, makes me stronger (NIETZSCHE))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1012 | View Replies]

To: laurenmarlowe

LOL! I can understand drawl with a translator if you can take midwest mixed with Alabama phraseology!


1,018 posted on 07/28/2005 6:21:09 PM PDT by StarCMC (Old Sarge is my hero...doing it right in Iraq! Vaya con Dios, Sarge.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1016 | View Replies]

To: laurenmarlowe

Lauren!!! (((hugs)))

I was hoping you would be here. I just got home so I haven't had a chance to backtrack much. How are you today?

Are you still enjoying the beautiful cool weather. I sure am. No AC--just REAL air!

I gotta go scrounge up something for supper--I'll listen for the Ping!


1,019 posted on 07/28/2005 6:21:13 PM PDT by luvie (God bless America and God bless and protect our troops!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1009 | View Replies]

To: laurenmarlowe; Colonel_Flagg; HiJinx; Kathy in Alaska; AZamericonnie; HopeandGlory; AzFlyBaby; ...

~Gordon Lightfoot~Beautiful~

1,020 posted on 07/28/2005 6:22:35 PM PDT by Soaring Feather (This Little Light of Mine)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1011 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 981-1,0001,001-1,0201,021-1,040 ... 1,161-1,179 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson