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Man commits suicide after learning Harry Potter spoiler
http://www.jewishworldreview.com ^
| Andy Borowitz
Posted on 07/08/2005 7:50:05 AM PDT by manny613
A rabid Harry Potter fan took his life yesterday after inadvertently learning a plot spoiler from the soon-to-be-released J.K. Rowling opus, "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince."
Jude Ralston, 32, of Hudson, Ohio left a suicide note indicating that since overhearing the plot spoiler at a shopping mall earlier in the day, "I no longer have a reason to live."
(Excerpt) Read more at jewishworldreview.com ...
TOPICS: News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: 10acrebutt; idiot; onlyajokefolks; satire
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To: manny613
The gene pool just got a little less cloudy.
21
posted on
07/08/2005 7:58:43 AM PDT
by
reagan_fanatic
("We must be tolerant and understanding of those trying to blow us to pieces" - Ted Kennedy)
To: cripplecreek
22
posted on
07/08/2005 7:59:07 AM PDT
by
JRios1968
(No Sir, I don't like it.)
To: manny613
DARWIN AWARD WINNER!!
23
posted on
07/08/2005 8:00:04 AM PDT
by
NoClones
To: manny613
Sadly, it's too late to advise, Get a life.
24
posted on
07/08/2005 8:00:53 AM PDT
by
Ciexyz
(Let us always remember, the Lord is in control.)
To: reagan_fanatic; All
Uh, dudes, maybe a mass suicide is in order here. I am sure this is a joke article.
25
posted on
07/08/2005 8:01:08 AM PDT
by
Williams
To: manny613
To: manny613
Chuckle.
Yes, the danger with parody is that the event might have actually happened :-).
27
posted on
07/08/2005 8:02:33 AM PDT
by
Tax-chick
("I am saying that the government's complicity is dishonest and disingenuous." ~NCSteve)
To: Melpomene
No I have not seen him at the Star Wars Premiere. But I will say I loved the baseball interview concerning Gore on your about page. It's also quite interesting that you love New Orleans. I am from Gulfport, Ms.
28
posted on
07/08/2005 8:03:09 AM PDT
by
Reagan79
(Ralph Stanley Rocks!)
To: manny613
Perhaps you should have posted the tile with "Satire" in it. Some of us believe everything we read on the Net. (!)
29
posted on
07/08/2005 8:04:05 AM PDT
by
Ciexyz
(Let us always remember, the Lord is in control.)
To: manny613
Sad. I seem to recall many years ago that a 12 year old killed himself because the original TV series "Battlestar Galactica" was canceled.
30
posted on
07/08/2005 8:04:28 AM PDT
by
FReepaholic
(When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading)
To: manny613
But when he started wearing that wizard hat around town, we really should have seen that as a cry for help."this is a joke, right?
let's hope he didn't taint the gene pool by having offspring.
31
posted on
07/08/2005 8:04:35 AM PDT
by
wildwood
To: manny613
To: manny613
Worst...ending...EVER!
33
posted on
07/08/2005 8:05:26 AM PDT
by
SerpentDove
(Homer: "And those Blue Men? BLATANT rip-off of the Smurfs!")
To: manny613
I won't believe it until I see it in Scrappleface.
34
posted on
07/08/2005 8:05:29 AM PDT
by
KarlInOhio
(Bork should have had Kennedy's USSC seat and Kelo v. New London would have gone the other way.)
To: manny613; JenB; Bear_in_RoseBear; RosieCotton; ecurbh; Corin Stormhands
Jeepers... I hope no one posts the spoiler here! Must be bad!
To: TheForceOfOne
>Sounds like he took a life he never had
Don't be hard on him.
I killed myself when I learned
about Spock dying . . .
To: manny613
37
posted on
07/08/2005 8:09:10 AM PDT
by
woofie
(Neocon spelled backward is Nocoen)
To: Ciexyz
thanks -will know for future.
38
posted on
07/08/2005 8:09:24 AM PDT
by
manny613
(Trying my best)
To: HairOfTheDog
Here's the funny part... there aren't spoilers. Not big ones. It's really weird, this time last time you had to go around with your hands over your ears if you didn't want to learn the big one (I didn't, but it was sadly obvious anyway...). This time, nada, zilch. Nobody's found a copy of the book sitting on the shelves a week early yet. Even the guys who stole a copy and tried to sell it to reporters messed up.
Not very funny satire anyway. There's always book seven to live for.
39
posted on
07/08/2005 8:10:19 AM PDT
by
JenB
(Doin' my own theme song)
To: Ciexyz
Perhaps you should have posted the tile with "Satire" in it. Some of us believe everything we read on the Net. (!) Indeed. Then again I still remember an article in The Onion that had many friends scratching their heads and saying, "I know people who could have written. Hell, I could have written that." The article was entitled: When You Are Ready to Have a Mature Discussion About the Green Latern You Have My E-Mail Address
TS
40
posted on
07/08/2005 8:15:45 AM PDT
by
Tanniker Smith
(I didn't know she was a liberal when I married her.)
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