Man commits suicide after learning Harry Potter spoiler

http://www.jewishworldreview.com ^ | Andy Borowitz

[manny613]

A rabid Harry Potter fan took his life yesterday after inadvertently learning a plot spoiler from the soon-to-be-released J.K. Rowling opus, "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince."

Jude Ralston, 32, of Hudson, Ohio left a suicide note indicating that since overhearing the plot spoiler at a shopping mall earlier in the day, "I no longer have a reason to live."

[reagan_fanatic]

The gene pool just got a little less cloudy.

[JRios1968]

Is there an intentional category for a Darwin Award?

No, in fact, the Darwin Awards will not consider suicides. Click here to see the Darwin Awards site

[NoClones]

DARWIN AWARD WINNER!!

[Ciexyz]

Sadly, it's too late to advise, Get a life.

[Williams]

Uh, dudes, maybe a mass suicide is in order here. I am sure this is a joke article.

[popdonnelly]

Bush did it! ;-)

[Tax-chick]

Chuckle.

Yes, the danger with parody is that the event might have actually happened :-).

[Reagan79]

No I have not seen him at the Star Wars Premiere. But I will say I loved the baseball interview concerning Gore on your about page. It's also quite interesting that you love New Orleans. I am from Gulfport, Ms.

[Ciexyz]

Perhaps you should have posted the tile with "Satire" in it. Some of us believe everything we read on the Net. (!)

[FReepaholic]

Sad. I seem to recall many years ago that a 12 year old killed himself because the original TV series "Battlestar Galactica" was canceled.

[wildwood]

But when he started wearing that wizard hat around town, we really should have seen that as a cry for help."

this is a joke, right?

let's hope he didn't taint the gene pool by having offspring.

[Cincinatus' Wife]

Is this an urban myth?

[SerpentDove]

Worst...ending...EVER!

[KarlInOhio]

I won't believe it until I see it in Scrappleface.

[HairOfTheDog]

Jeepers... I hope no one posts the spoiler here! Must be bad!

[theFIRMbss]

>Sounds like he took a life he never had

Don't be hard on him.
I killed myself when I learned
about Spock dying . . .

[woofie]

I guess that was the end

[manny613]

thanks -will know for future.

[JenB]

Here's the funny part... there aren't spoilers. Not big ones. It's really weird, this time last time you had to go around with your hands over your ears if you didn't want to learn the big one (I didn't, but it was sadly obvious anyway...). This time, nada, zilch. Nobody's found a copy of the book sitting on the shelves a week early yet. Even the guys who stole a copy and tried to sell it to reporters messed up.

Not very funny satire anyway. There's always book seven to live for.

[Tanniker Smith]

Perhaps you should have posted the tile with "Satire" in it. Some of us believe everything we read on the Net. (!)

Indeed. Then again I still remember an article in The Onion that had many friends scratching their heads and saying, "I know people who could have written. Hell, I could have written that." The article was entitled: When You Are Ready to Have a Mature Discussion About the Green Latern You Have My E-Mail Address

TS