From Here
Posted on 05/28/2005 7:35:31 AM PDT by Neville72
A Manhattan banker wearing only a condom ambushed a female jogger on the Jersey Shore - but had to scram when she turned out to be a cop, prosecutors said yesterday. The officer threatened to blast 39-year-old John Dee Kelly with pepper spray and later got the plate number off his rented car, enabling cops to track the suspect down.
"He picked the wrong person to attack," said Assistant Monmouth County Prosecutor Robert Honecker. "This was a quick-thinking officer."
Kelly, who lives in Jersey City, rented a car from Hertz at Newark Airport on May 15 and drove to Union Beach, N.J., where he stripped down to his condom and laid in wait in the woods near a jogging trail, police said.
Around 1:30 p.m., Kelly allegedly pounced on the jogger but quickly found himself facing off with a furious female officer, police said.
(Excerpt) Read more at nydailynews.com ...
Would he be a benny or a shoebee?
The first time we went to the Big Apple, on the first day of our visit we came across a couple of LEOs coming across a double homicide. Then we got back to our hotel room and found it had been burgled. It was a memorable trip. But this was way back in the pre-Guiliani Dark Ages :)
yeah , you were here for a bygone crime era where packs of kids robbed Christmas shoppers in Times Sq. subway station on Christmas Eve!! There's a spasm of crazy s**t now,last week a nice couple was robbed at gunpoint in Central Park at 76th St right after noon!!
Cheer up John Dee Kelly. Now that you are a registered sex offender you will have access to government-sponsored Viagra.
"I'm not sure what you mean about giant dildos, but back to the story..."
Here's the previous thread:
PENIS CLOSES ROAD
Posted by billorites
On 05/28/2005 4:32:09 AM PDT · 33 replies · 859+ views
Sky News ^ | May 25, 2005
A large fake penis has caused a major terror alert in America. A key highway though Florida was closed after a driver spotted what looked like a pipe bomb under an overpass. Fearing terrorists were trying to blow up the structure, police closed Interstate 75 for an hour. But on closer inspection police found that the 'device' was actually a foot-long plastic penis. "Someone took construction-grade plastic, moulded it into a penis and wrapped it with duct tape," said Lee County Sheriff's Chief Deputy Charles Ferrante. The bomb squad was brought in to handle the situation and a remote-controlled robot...
You mean he'll have to give up the Cialis?
Yeah, this is gonna hurt his career.
He's got executive hair, all right...
The Big Apple has some worms in it.
Some?
HA! That's what I was thinking or he's one excited dude!
Yeah, just some :)
This is what public school administrators consider "safe sex."
Shoot his pecker off!
Yeah, you're right.
But I still think it has more than most cities.
"What the Hell is going on?
The Big Apple has some worms in it.
Some?"
Go ahead, bite the big apple, don't mind the maggots...
ROFL...Thanks for clearing that up! 8>)
LOL, I had the same thought.
And wasn't there some other story yesterday about another nude guy who ran towards a cop, but the cop shot him?
Who thinks that some of the attending officers and bystanders were laughing their asses off while watching a bomb sniffing robot tend to a giant dildo? Priceless!
I know your post made me LMAO. What a mental image... :)
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