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Freeper Canteen: Tell me your favorite joke! Come join us. April 12,2005
Canteen funny guys

Posted on 04/11/2005 7:30:08 PM PDT by Diva Betsy Ross

For the freedom you enjoyed yesterday... Thank the Veterans who served in The United States Armed Forces.

Looking forward to tomorrow's freedom? Support The United States Armed Forces Today!

You know how it is when you're walking up the stairs, and you get to the top, and you think there's one more step? I'm like that all the time.

Yesterday I saw a chicken crossing the road. I asked it why. It told me it was none of my business

Here is the big question of the day: What is your favorite joke? (please keep it family friendly!) Come into the Canteen and tell us all about it!~

Links below! Wanna surf the internet with me?

I hope that you will find some fun,enlightenment and inspiration within these links. If you are really cool you will follow each one! I hope everyone has a great week. And of course thanks and love goes out to the troops. You guys and gals rock! Thank you-Thank you 100 thousand times!

Find Out If You Are a Road Geek Here

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Slogan Generator Here

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A Very Funny WebSite Here

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Experiments for Hostess Twinkies

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USO Public Service Announcement

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Are we having fun yet?? Hope so!

Support Our Troops Rally Ohio

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Motorcycle News

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Some Income is TAX FREE for Troops!

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Free Video Conferencing online for Troops

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Movies Released April 2005

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Faith Flashes-A Tribute to our Troops

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Tribute to Our Troops

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Looking for a special card to send a special American hero? LOOK HERE!

"Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands. Protect them as they protect us. Bless them and their families for the selfless acts they perform for us in our time of need. Amen."

AWESOME TRIBUTE AND PRAYER WHEEL FOR OUR TROOPS AND THEIR FAMILIES HERE (Make sure to look at the second page)



TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: 229; jokes; military; supportourtroops
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To: Mudboy Slim

Architecture & Anarchy...

Thought you'd like that one.

Kind of reminds me of my son's bedroom when he was little, hyper and crazy about legos.


881 posted on 04/12/2005 2:09:20 PM PDT by Flora McDonald (Stand the Storm!)
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To: stopsign

Kind of makes you wonder about the Radical Mental Health workshop...


882 posted on 04/12/2005 2:12:23 PM PDT by Flora McDonald (Stand the Storm!)
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To: El Gran Salseron

Hey! Thanks for posting that, I really enjoyed it, laughed myself silly.


883 posted on 04/12/2005 2:12:34 PM PDT by mother22wife21 ( "My super power is dancing" -my five year old daughter)
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To: stopsign; Mudboy Slim
ANARCHIST MAYDAY
884 posted on 04/12/2005 2:15:51 PM PDT by Flora McDonald (Stand the Storm!)
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To: Yehuda

Hi Yehuda...thanks for the joke.


885 posted on 04/12/2005 2:16:20 PM PDT by Kathy in Alaska (~ www.ProudPatriots.org ~ next campaign is Operation 4th of July~)
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To: mother22wife21; StarCMC; Darksheare; acad1228
The intent of my original post was to create some laughs. People took it seriously and as you saw, I got some serious responses.


886 posted on 04/12/2005 2:19:07 PM PDT by El Gran Salseron ( The equal opportunity male chauvinist pig. :-))
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To: StarCMC; HiJinx; txradioguy; Radix

You guys seem to be the history junkies here.

I found the entire text online for:

THE U.S. ARMY IN THE OCCUPATION OF GERMANY
1944-1946
by
Earl F. Ziemke
http://www.globalsecurity.org/military/library/report/other/us-army_germany_1944-46_index.htm

(Of course, I found it while looking for two simple statistics -- our occupying force numbers in Germany after VE Day and in 1950 -- and got sidetracked reading.) ;)

Some info I have found:

re food shortages
On November 3 the Weser Bote, published in Bremen, published that “beer brewing has been stopped in Bavaria because the barley must be used to make flour.”

re sanitation
...in the first months of the occupation was swept by waves of dysentery, typhoid fever, and diphtheria, all spread by sewage leaking into the water system from fractured sewer pipes. Usually the adults and older children survived, but the first wave of dysentery, which the Berliners called hunger typhoid, killed 65 percent of the newborn babies.

re displaced persons (DPs) in Germany
Many farm communities found a new use for old air raid sirens: to warn of approaching DP bands. In Munich, DPs constituted 4 percent of the population but were responsible for 75 percent of the crimes.

re carryover problems caused by when the government runs the schools (partially paraphrased) ;)
Grades one through eight opened on 1 October with slightly more students than in 1939, but with about half the teachers and buildings. Because the teachers working before the war were as politically pure as military government and the CIC could get them, qualified teachers were those who had been “away from the job” for a long period of time. The average age of the teachers in Munich was fifty-seven, and the pupil-teacher ratio was eighty-nine to one. Textbooks had to be revamped totally to rid them of propaganda, such as a seventh-grade arithmetic text analysis of the economic and territorial losses the text claimed were “unfairly brought about by the Treaty of Versailles."


887 posted on 04/12/2005 2:21:13 PM PDT by Fawnn (Canteen wOOhOO Consultant and CookingWithPam.com person - Faith makes things possible, not easy.)
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To: Fawnn

Fawnn, that's not the half of it. You should do some research on just how long there was terrorism by fanatical Nazis after the war ended.

What is happening now in Iraq re terrorism is peanuts.

Shhhh! The MSM doesn't breathe a word of this to anyone.


888 posted on 04/12/2005 2:24:34 PM PDT by El Gran Salseron ( The equal opportunity male chauvinist pig. :-))
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To: El Gran Salseron

Oops! In my previous post re "is peanuts," should have read, "is peanuts, in comparison."

Not demeaning what our troops are doing now!

Heaven save them!


889 posted on 04/12/2005 2:29:18 PM PDT by El Gran Salseron ( The equal opportunity male chauvinist pig. :-))
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To: Kathy in Alaska

,,, fall is here and it's great... my favourite season. It was like summer yesterday but it's overcast today. We wanted summer this year and we got it. Can't complain at all. I've got plenty of firewood stashed and ready for some long days at home. June thru August will be the coldest, but nothing like the winters you know.


890 posted on 04/12/2005 2:30:39 PM PDT by shaggy eel (kicking it downunder)
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To: Riverman94610
How can you tell when a woman is about to say something intelligent? She starts the sentence by saying,"a man once told me".

I don't get it. :) hehehe!

891 posted on 04/12/2005 2:34:00 PM PDT by writer33 ("In Defense of Liberty," a political thriller, being released in March)
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To: Kathy in Alaska

Hi Kathy!!!!

Hope everything is just Duckie for you!!!!


892 posted on 04/12/2005 2:38:59 PM PDT by duck duck goose
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To: bentfeather

Thanks....here's another joke I picked up somewhere.

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says ‘What the hell was that all about?"


893 posted on 04/12/2005 2:46:08 PM PDT by TheLion
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To: Diva Betsy Ross
Hearing Aid

A man feared his wife was not hearing as well as she used
to, and he thought she might need a hearing aid.
Not quite sure how to approach her, he called
the family doctor to discuss the problem.
The doctor told him there is a simple informal test the
husband could perform to give the doctor a better
idea about her hearing loss.

"Here's what you do," said the doctor. "Stand about 40 feet
away from her and in a normal conversational speaking tone
see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then
20 feet, and so on until you get a response."

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner,
and he was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about
40 feet away. Let's see what happens."

In a normal tone he asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

No response.

So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30
feet from his wife, and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20
feet from his wife and asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again, no response.

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet
away. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again, there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

(I just love this.)

"Earl, for the 5th time, CHICKEN!"

894 posted on 04/12/2005 2:49:37 PM PDT by acad1228 ("Those who would forsake liberty for safety deserve neither." Ben Franklin)
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To: Kathy in Alaska

BTT!!!!!!


895 posted on 04/12/2005 2:50:11 PM PDT by E.G.C.
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To: Diva Betsy Ross
These are from my 8 y.o. son, he thought these up on his own, he is going to be a stand-up comedian.

-------------

WHat do you call a crazy person that has to go to the bathroom?

A Pee-nut

--------------

What did the pig say to the bacon?

MOM!

896 posted on 04/12/2005 2:50:21 PM PDT by bigjoesaddle ("Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats." -- P.J. O'Rourke)
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To: acad1228

me


897 posted on 04/12/2005 2:51:55 PM PDT by tomkow6 (...................hot DOG!........)
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To: acad1228

me


898 posted on 04/12/2005 2:51:55 PM PDT by tomkow6 (...................hot DOG!........)
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To: acad1228

me


899 posted on 04/12/2005 2:51:57 PM PDT by tomkow6 (...................hot DOG!........)
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To: acad1228

me


900 posted on 04/12/2005 2:51:57 PM PDT by tomkow6 (...................hot DOG!........)
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