|
Posted on 04/11/2005 7:30:08 PM PDT by Diva Betsy Ross
|
Two unemployed guys are talking. One says, "I'm going to become a lion tamer." The other replies, "That's crazy, you don't know nothing about no lion taming." "Yes I do!"
"Well, OK, answer me this. When one of those lions comes at you all roaring and biting, what you gonna do?" "Well, then I take that big chair they all carry, and I stick it in his face until he backs down." "Well, what if the lion takes that big paw, and hooks the chair with them big claws, and throws that chair out of the cage? What do you do then?"
"Well, then I takes that whip they all carry, and I whip him and whip him until he backs down." "Well, what if that lion bites that whip with his big teeth, and bites it in two? What you gonna do then?"
"Well, then I take that gun they all carry, and I shoot him." "Well, what if that gun doesn't work? What will you do then?"
"Well, then I pick up some of the s*** that's on the bottom of the cage, and I throw it in his eyes, and I run out of the cage." "Well, what if there ain't no s*** in the bottom of the cage? What you gonna do then?"
"Well, that's dumb. Cause if that lion comes at me, and he throws the chair out of the cage, and he bites the whip in two, and my gun don't work, there's going to be some s*** on the bottom of that cage, you can bet on that!" : ) <<< me
Yes Kathy, I stole your graphic. I'll find something Funny of my own soon but for now...
No help here. I never saw that thread.
Out to the grocery - back in a while.
Rejected by Mom: An infant Western lowland gorilla is cradled to sleep at the Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha, Neb. The young female was abandoned by its mother, Timu, a few hours after birth. It will be hand-raised and then given to a surrogate mother in view of Timu in an attempt to jump-start her maternal instinct.
,,, good to see ya Kathy!
See you again in '07? Giant pandas Gao Gao (right) and Bai Yun have naturally mated for only the second time since 2003 at the San Diego Zoo. Giddy zoo researchers are optimistic about a Bai Yun pregnancy.
Quick drive-by post~
Quick drive-by post~
Quick drive-by post~
Come on, couldn't we talk about me just a little bit?"
Seventh-inning fetch: Mickey, the ball dog of the Hiroshima Carp, makes a delivery in between innings at the home town stadium
El, click on the link in my post #845. You'll find answers to all your questions there!
SSarge.....#850!!
A Really Bad Day
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison." : ) <<< me
LOL! What a cute picture....horse fly!
Are you having a nice fall? Spring has finally sprung here. Still some freezing at night, but the last few days have been in the 40's.
Welcome to the Canteen, stopsign, and thanks for sharing your jokes.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
