Posted on 04/11/2005 7:30:08 PM PDT by Diva Betsy Ross
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Not much happening around here. Getting ready for the Windows deal today and my birthday tommorow.
How can you tell which tricycle belongs to the blonde?
It is the one with the kickstand.
Morning to you southern Pride. Hope you enjoy your time at the beach.
What do you call an all-blond skydiving team?
A new version of the Lawn Darts game.
ROFLMBO
You want to laugh? Watch this video if you have high speed access that is. http://video.mpegnation.com/a001479716638032605111933458.html
Some of it. I have been working on my shop mostly.
How have you been?
Good morning Everyone. Good morning to our
Military, our Allies and their families. THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO!
Thank you Diva Betsy for preparing the Canteen for the day. Of course, you know it is going to take me all day to read every one of these jokes and check out your links? I just don't know how I'm going to get any work done.
Well, we had a cold evening last night and I had to turn the heat back on. Today, we are only going to get into the 50s. Sweater day!
You'll have to excuse me for now; there are so many jokes and I want to read as many as possible. I've already seen a few "belly-busters" and am anxious to read more.
I will be posting one that I have always liked right after this. So, keep your eyes focused this way.
But, you stay right where you are. Don't touch that dial. Don't change that channel. Put down that remote. Don't leave the room. Keep your eyes on your monitor. Cause...............I'll be bock!
Now remember, the Canteen is
So, come on in and sit for a while. There's alway plenty of coffee, pancakes, conversation, silliness, and plain old BS
Why did it take the blond a whole week to wash three basement windows?
It took her six days just to dig the holes to put the ladder in.
In case I forget, H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y
Did you hear about the blond who gave his cat a bath?
He still hasn't gotten all the hair off his tongue.
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.
In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune, the Wal-Mart manager sees her and shuts the horse off.
Morning Sweetie. Missed you yesterday.
Good morning GBU
PREGNANCY Q & A & more!
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?
Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.
Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.
As they started loading the plane for the return trip, the pilot said the plane could take only four moose. The two objected strongly. "Last year we shot six, and the pilot let us put them all on board; he had the same plane as yours."
Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. However, even on full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down a few moments after take-off.
Climbing out of the wreck one hunter asked the other, "Any idea where we are?"
"Yaaah I think we's pretty close to where we crashed last year."
How does a psychic refer to a blonde?
Light reading.
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