FReeper Canteen ~ Camp Run-A-Muk! ~ Last Minute Gifts! ~ WooHoo! ~ Friday, December 17, 2004

My "VOICES", "kitty-katz", the Canteen Crew, and FRiends of the Canteen

[tomkow6]

 

 

For the freedom you enjoyed yesterday... Thank the Veterans who served in The United States Armed Forces.

Looking forward to tomorrow's freedom? Support The United States Armed Forces Today!

 

...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....wake up!..............I got some MORE ideas.......why?......cause we gotta....huh?....I wanna sleep....no, GET UP!....we gonna go shoppin' AGAIN??.....
....YES!......I found alotta more neet gifts!....put a sock in it.....SHUT UP!... .....let's go shoppin'!....I WANNA SLEEP......get yer butt outta bed........wake me when it's over....

MORE

EXCITING Holiday GIFTS!

Welcome to  Camp RUN-A-MUK!

 
Where the Plan Of the Day is: Mirth...Merriment...and FUN!
Kick back! Relax! Tell a joke or two! Have a brew !

The BAR is OPEN!

We've got Eye candy...Mind candy...and Chicken soup for the soul!

Welcome to the ULTIMATE Shopping guide, part 2!

Lady Jag once said, "Love is a battlefield." And she couldn't be more right.

It's a tough world out there... between dating, and work, and dating, and errands, and dating... life can eat you alive. To compete in the real world, you gotta be equipped. 

And that's where the Miss Army Knife comes in.

It's a complete field artillery kit that looks like an innocent Swiss Army Knife. But it contains everything you need to survive rough terrain or rough dates.

 The Miss Army Knife opens every which way and includes the following indispensable tools...

flashlight..perfume bottle..keychain..bottle opener..needle & thread..screwdriver..safety pin..scissors..corkscrew..ruler..mirror..nail file..pen..pill box..tweezers  knife

 

It's brilliantly designed and built to last. The uses are endless -- use the knife to carve your lover's initials on a fence post. Use the nail file to file it away once you dump him. Use the perfume bottle to attract a replacement. Use the flashlight to show him the door when you dump him. About the only thing you can't do with it is use the needle & thread to mend your broken heart.

The Miss Army Knife makes a wonderful and thoughtful gift, which makes us wonder what it's doing at Camp Run-A-Muk!

MR. MOUTHYMOUTH
Finger Puppet

This rubber finger puppet is so darn repulsive we just had to sell it.

It's made of flesh-like rubber, with a huge teeth, a flexible tongue, and eyeballs that seem to dangle on strands of exposed flesh.

Because it's so flexible, you can make all sorts of disgusting faces with it. It's more fun that a barrel of mucus!

HALF HAMSTER / HALF GODZILLA
IT'S THE SINGING AND DANCING
HAMZILLA!

Run! Flee! Beat it!

It's Hamzilla!

Dancing Hamsters have reached a new level of stupidity with this marvel.

It's a little stuffed hamster dressed in a Godzilla costume. That's right... a hamster in a monster costume. It doesn't get much stupider than this.

But there's more... When you press his Godzilla foot, he sings and dances a pretty heavy rock song. You probably won't my "voices", but here are the lyrics...

He picks up a bus
And he throws it back down
As he wades through the buildings
Toward the center of town.

Oh, no. They say he's got to go.
Hamzilla!
Oh, no. There goes Tokyo.
Hamzilla!

As he dances, the eyes on the Godzilla costume light up.  He wears a shirt that reads "I Love Tokyo." As a final touch, the ferocious Hamzilla waves a city bus in his right hand and a ripped-out phone booth in his left hand.

If you know what's good for you, you'll buy a Hamzilla. You don't want to make him mad.

It's a well-known fact that hamsters are the most punctual creatures in the animal kingdom. Before clocks and watches were invented, people used to strap hamsters on their wrists to tell the time of day. It was not uncommon to hear passersby say, "Look at the time -- It's half past hamster!" Switzerland became famous for watches -- not because they were brilliant engineers -- but because their indigenous hamsters were exceptionally accurate timekeepers. 

So you can see why Camp Run-A-Muk is so excited to offer this incredible Hamster Clock for your consideration. It's by far  the most remarkable clock we have ever seen.

The colorful Hamster Clock features a furry, mechanical hamster inside of a hamster exercise wheel. Once every minute, THE HAMSTER RUNS and the hamster wheel goes around one revolution. The wheel is connected to an intricate series of 12 gears -- So when the hamster wheel goes around, it makes the clock's minute hand move 1-minute forward.

But we've save the most astounding fact for last -- the entire clock is DRIVEN BY THE HAMSTER. The timing mechanism is INSIDE THE HAMSTER itself. Each minute, when it starts to run, it forces the wheel around, setting the clock in motion. 

It must have taken a lot of engineering to get everything exactly right, but the clock works perfectly. The only drawback is that when the clock starts spinning each minute, it is kind of noisy. But what can you expect -- you have a running hamster robot, 12 gears, and a spinning exercise wheel -- it's gonna make some noise. 

How does the word in the box make you feel? 

 LIBERAL 

If the very mention of liberals makes you scream in frustration and pull the hair out of your head, then this punching bag might save your sanity, if not your very life.

That's right, my conservative cronie. Stop banging your head against the wall. Relief is here. The John Kerry Punching Bag is ready and willing to absorb all your pent up righteous right-wing rage. 

The John Kerry Bop Bag stands a mighty 46 inches tall with a sand-filled base so he pops back up after you bop 'em. A politician has to be thick-skinned, the Kerry Bop Bag is made of durable vinyl. As a finishing touch,  Kerry sports a pair of 3-D Boxing Gloves that squeak when you slug them. 

Of course, my "voices" don't encourage any real violence against our capable candidates. That's what great about the bop bag, no one gets hurt, and you feel a whole lot better!

SINGIN' IN THE RAIN PUPPY

Some people are not bothered by anything. No matter how serious the problem, they always look at the bright side. And if they get stuck with lemons, they make lemonade. In some places, these people are known as optimists. Around here, they're known as annoying.

And we suppose this toy can be considered annoying as well. It's a little stuffed puppy who refuses to let a rain storm dampen his spirits. When you press his paw, "Singin' In The Rain" plays and the pooch swings his umbrella from side to side.

The Singin' In The Rain Puppy is nicely executed. The pup wears a full set of rain gear, complete with coat, hat, and galoshes. The song that plays goes on for a long time and, thought we don't think it's Gene Kelly, it's a pretty good imitation.

When you think about it, the Singin' In The Rain Puppy teaches all of us a valuable lesson: Whenever storm clouds try to rain on your parade, just lift your head and sing! And when the men in white come to take you away, just tell them the singing rain puppy told you to do it!

FREE, with the purchase a 1-year subscription to
BURKA OF THE MONTH CLUB!

It starts innocently enough... You find a little kitten on your doorstep and "rescue" it. Then, somehow, another cat comes along, and you take that one in, too. Then another. And another. Before long, you look in the mirror and... OH MY GOD!!! You're a Crazy Cat Lady!!!!

If this doesn't describe you, then you surely know someone who does fit this frightening scenario. 

The people who designed The Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure certainly must know such a person. Because this bizarre toy captures the Cat Lady Phenomenon to a "T"!

There she stands -- ratty bathrobe, checked pajama bottoms, headband, wild hair, and a fanatical look on her face. And she's surrounded by six cats that own her heart and soul.

The Crazy Cat Lady stands 5-1/4" tall and can be posed however you like.

Yes, you may be tempted to laugh at the Crazy Cat Lady. But, be warned, one day that Cat Lady may be yourself.

No cats, puppies, hamsters, or my "voices" were harmed in the creation of this opening!  Nor was Santa Claus!
Kerry got the crap beat out of him, but me or my "voices" had only a tiny bit to do with that.....

 

[Diva Betsy Ross]

Thanks Fawnn!

[Soaring Feather]

me

[mylife]

Gordon Gano? is pretty talented

He did a gospel album with a band called "the mercy seat" that cooks

[BIGLOOK]

I was sorta kidding about global warming. Have had experience in the road icing phenomena tho'. Sounds like you need Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers for Christmas to not only make driving safer but a lot more fun.

[Diva Betsy Ross]

When I lived in Hollywood my favorite club was the coconut Teaser. To me it was the best because they could get three bands going at one time on that place.. you could go from punk- to hard core punk to Greenday in one setting then they would bring the heavy metal out and start all over again. I miss the Coconut Teaser!

[mylife]

f any one can find some christmasy stuff by Joemy Wilson or Kim Robertson I'd really like that

[Old Sarge]

"Well, ya see, Sarge, I don't get my dog for a bit,
so I gotta use that novelty leash with the invisible mutt, ya know?"
"Confuses the beebers outa my Lieutenant, though..."

"No, I DON'T want my palm read, my fortune seen,
or any of Yakov's Golden Elixir, now un-ass the truck!!!""

[Soaring Feather]

~Phil Collins~Can't Stop Loving You~

[mylife]

I went to LA once...got to longbeach and turned around and went south L0L so much for my LA experiances ;^)

[txradioguy]

LOL! This is getting pretty amazing. And I mean that in a really childish kind of way. I mentioned on here the other day that I was dealing with some DUmmie wannabies on a local forum in my hometown newspaper. The Rats on there were sooo desperate to smear little ol me they were sinking to asking if I was "wasting their tax money" Well it's gotten worse. Check this out. It's from a Rat going by the name of "Proud American". It seems he has a few questions about my service in Iraq. Here's what he had to say:

"Tx, i commend you for your service in iraq, if you really did spend a full year over there.

Question for you? Just what did you do, what was your responsibilities while you were over in iraq? Were you involved in any combat? What division, brigade, company were you in and were abouts in iraq did you serve.

Were you in the U.S. armed forces over there or were you working for a private contractor, ie; haliburton or someother?

And finally, if you saw combat, did you have to kill anyone either insurgent or
iraqi civilian? Nothing meant by that, just courious if you had to kill anyone.

It would be real interesting to know what your capacity was with the military while you were over there if you dont mind telling us.

I be waiting to here your answer."

And here's my reply:

""if you really did spend a full year over there."

LOL! No bias or agenda in that question is there PA?

I was there from April 2003 to April 2004.


"Just what did you do, what was your responsibilities while you were over in iraq? Were you involved in any combat? What division, brigade, company were you in and were abouts in iraq did you serve."


Primary responsibility was Public/Civil Affairs. I also pulled guard duty...I personally participated in raids and helped secure areas during cordon and searches and vehicle searches at traffic control points by other units within our Brigade.

"Were you in the U.S. armed forces over there or were you working for a private contractor, ie; haliburton or someother?"


You obviously haven't been paying attention here PA. I'm active duty. I was in Baghdad with the 3rd Brigade, 1st Armored Division based right ehre at Ft. Riley, Kansas. We had responsibility for most of NW Baghdad. Our sector ran from the Tigress River, weat to the Abu Ghraib Market area to the Green Zone near Saddam's "Four Heads" Palace. Nice try at the Halliburton smear. You guys crack me up.

"And finally, if you saw combat, did you have to kill anyone either insurgent or
iraqi civilian? Nothing meant by that, just courious if you had to kill anyone. "

Yes I was involved in combat. Never killed an Iraq civilian. I hope that doesn't disappoint you too badly. I know you were just hoping to recommend me for a war crimes trial if I'd said yes. Try again sucker!

Now I'm not sure what kind of fun you're going to have with my full disclosure of my year in Iraq. But then again I could really care less. I have nothing to hide."

If any of you would like to give this idiot a little dose of reality...here's the link.

http://www.mypbdollarsaver.com/forum//viewtopic.php?t=66&start=60

[Fawnn]

Thanks, Spotsy!!!
bentfeather!!! #500!!!
You're welcome, DBR!!!

[Old Sarge]

Howdy, Tex!

Glad to see your cutting edge is still sharp as ever.

Personally, I won't talk to them - ever. I have too little time as it is, to waste words on clueless parasites who live off the fruits of your labor and mine.

[Soaring Feather]

Thank You Auntie Fawnn for the WOO HOO.

[mylife]

Afan Jerusalems Ridge

[Old Sarge]

{{{{{ LADIES! }}}}}

Nicetaseeyah!

[Soaring Feather]

WOO HOO it's really you!!

[Old Sarge]

FEATHERS!!!

Guess who I met the other day?

[JLO]

TOOOO funny! Thanks for posting.

[txradioguy]

". I have too little time as it is, to waste words on clueless parasites who live off the fruits of your labor and mine."

Don't worry Sarge I got this one. It gives me something to do on my leave.

You just get your soldiers ready for what's waiting for them.

I'll keep the riff raff in check.

[Old Sarge]

Done and done.

I'll be Acting Platoon Sergeant until our boss comes back off Advance Party. Sometime late January, if the water don't rise...