FReeper Canteen ~ Camp Run-A-Muk! ~ Last Minute Gifts! ~ WooHoo! ~ Friday, December 17, 2004

My "VOICES", "kitty-katz", the Canteen Crew, and FRiends of the Canteen

[tomkow6]

 

 

For the freedom you enjoyed yesterday... Thank the Veterans who served in The United States Armed Forces.

Looking forward to tomorrow's freedom? Support The United States Armed Forces Today!

 

...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....wake up!..............I got some MORE ideas.......why?......cause we gotta....huh?....I wanna sleep....no, GET UP!....we gonna go shoppin' AGAIN??.....
....YES!......I found alotta more neet gifts!....put a sock in it.....SHUT UP!... .....let's go shoppin'!....I WANNA SLEEP......get yer butt outta bed........wake me when it's over....

MORE

EXCITING Holiday GIFTS!

Welcome to  Camp RUN-A-MUK!

 
Where the Plan Of the Day is: Mirth...Merriment...and FUN!
Kick back! Relax! Tell a joke or two! Have a brew !

The BAR is OPEN!

We've got Eye candy...Mind candy...and Chicken soup for the soul!

Welcome to the ULTIMATE Shopping guide, part 2!

Lady Jag once said, "Love is a battlefield." And she couldn't be more right.

It's a tough world out there... between dating, and work, and dating, and errands, and dating... life can eat you alive. To compete in the real world, you gotta be equipped. 

And that's where the Miss Army Knife comes in.

It's a complete field artillery kit that looks like an innocent Swiss Army Knife. But it contains everything you need to survive rough terrain or rough dates.

 The Miss Army Knife opens every which way and includes the following indispensable tools...

flashlight..perfume bottle..keychain..bottle opener..needle & thread..screwdriver..safety pin..scissors..corkscrew..ruler..mirror..nail file..pen..pill box..tweezers  knife

 

It's brilliantly designed and built to last. The uses are endless -- use the knife to carve your lover's initials on a fence post. Use the nail file to file it away once you dump him. Use the perfume bottle to attract a replacement. Use the flashlight to show him the door when you dump him. About the only thing you can't do with it is use the needle & thread to mend your broken heart.

The Miss Army Knife makes a wonderful and thoughtful gift, which makes us wonder what it's doing at Camp Run-A-Muk!

MR. MOUTHYMOUTH
Finger Puppet

This rubber finger puppet is so darn repulsive we just had to sell it.

It's made of flesh-like rubber, with a huge teeth, a flexible tongue, and eyeballs that seem to dangle on strands of exposed flesh.

Because it's so flexible, you can make all sorts of disgusting faces with it. It's more fun that a barrel of mucus!

HALF HAMSTER / HALF GODZILLA
IT'S THE SINGING AND DANCING
HAMZILLA!

Run! Flee! Beat it!

It's Hamzilla!

Dancing Hamsters have reached a new level of stupidity with this marvel.

It's a little stuffed hamster dressed in a Godzilla costume. That's right... a hamster in a monster costume. It doesn't get much stupider than this.

But there's more... When you press his Godzilla foot, he sings and dances a pretty heavy rock song. You probably won't my "voices", but here are the lyrics...

He picks up a bus
And he throws it back down
As he wades through the buildings
Toward the center of town.

Oh, no. They say he's got to go.
Hamzilla!
Oh, no. There goes Tokyo.
Hamzilla!

As he dances, the eyes on the Godzilla costume light up.  He wears a shirt that reads "I Love Tokyo." As a final touch, the ferocious Hamzilla waves a city bus in his right hand and a ripped-out phone booth in his left hand.

If you know what's good for you, you'll buy a Hamzilla. You don't want to make him mad.

It's a well-known fact that hamsters are the most punctual creatures in the animal kingdom. Before clocks and watches were invented, people used to strap hamsters on their wrists to tell the time of day. It was not uncommon to hear passersby say, "Look at the time -- It's half past hamster!" Switzerland became famous for watches -- not because they were brilliant engineers -- but because their indigenous hamsters were exceptionally accurate timekeepers. 

So you can see why Camp Run-A-Muk is so excited to offer this incredible Hamster Clock for your consideration. It's by far  the most remarkable clock we have ever seen.

The colorful Hamster Clock features a furry, mechanical hamster inside of a hamster exercise wheel. Once every minute, THE HAMSTER RUNS and the hamster wheel goes around one revolution. The wheel is connected to an intricate series of 12 gears -- So when the hamster wheel goes around, it makes the clock's minute hand move 1-minute forward.

But we've save the most astounding fact for last -- the entire clock is DRIVEN BY THE HAMSTER. The timing mechanism is INSIDE THE HAMSTER itself. Each minute, when it starts to run, it forces the wheel around, setting the clock in motion. 

It must have taken a lot of engineering to get everything exactly right, but the clock works perfectly. The only drawback is that when the clock starts spinning each minute, it is kind of noisy. But what can you expect -- you have a running hamster robot, 12 gears, and a spinning exercise wheel -- it's gonna make some noise. 

How does the word in the box make you feel? 

 LIBERAL 

If the very mention of liberals makes you scream in frustration and pull the hair out of your head, then this punching bag might save your sanity, if not your very life.

That's right, my conservative cronie. Stop banging your head against the wall. Relief is here. The John Kerry Punching Bag is ready and willing to absorb all your pent up righteous right-wing rage. 

The John Kerry Bop Bag stands a mighty 46 inches tall with a sand-filled base so he pops back up after you bop 'em. A politician has to be thick-skinned, the Kerry Bop Bag is made of durable vinyl. As a finishing touch,  Kerry sports a pair of 3-D Boxing Gloves that squeak when you slug them. 

Of course, my "voices" don't encourage any real violence against our capable candidates. That's what great about the bop bag, no one gets hurt, and you feel a whole lot better!

SINGIN' IN THE RAIN PUPPY

Some people are not bothered by anything. No matter how serious the problem, they always look at the bright side. And if they get stuck with lemons, they make lemonade. In some places, these people are known as optimists. Around here, they're known as annoying.

And we suppose this toy can be considered annoying as well. It's a little stuffed puppy who refuses to let a rain storm dampen his spirits. When you press his paw, "Singin' In The Rain" plays and the pooch swings his umbrella from side to side.

The Singin' In The Rain Puppy is nicely executed. The pup wears a full set of rain gear, complete with coat, hat, and galoshes. The song that plays goes on for a long time and, thought we don't think it's Gene Kelly, it's a pretty good imitation.

When you think about it, the Singin' In The Rain Puppy teaches all of us a valuable lesson: Whenever storm clouds try to rain on your parade, just lift your head and sing! And when the men in white come to take you away, just tell them the singing rain puppy told you to do it!

FREE, with the purchase a 1-year subscription to
BURKA OF THE MONTH CLUB!

It starts innocently enough... You find a little kitten on your doorstep and "rescue" it. Then, somehow, another cat comes along, and you take that one in, too. Then another. And another. Before long, you look in the mirror and... OH MY GOD!!! You're a Crazy Cat Lady!!!!

If this doesn't describe you, then you surely know someone who does fit this frightening scenario. 

The people who designed The Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure certainly must know such a person. Because this bizarre toy captures the Cat Lady Phenomenon to a "T"!

There she stands -- ratty bathrobe, checked pajama bottoms, headband, wild hair, and a fanatical look on her face. And she's surrounded by six cats that own her heart and soul.

The Crazy Cat Lady stands 5-1/4" tall and can be posed however you like.

Yes, you may be tempted to laugh at the Crazy Cat Lady. But, be warned, one day that Cat Lady may be yourself.

No cats, puppies, hamsters, or my "voices" were harmed in the creation of this opening!  Nor was Santa Claus!
Kerry got the crap beat out of him, but me or my "voices" had only a tiny bit to do with that.....

 

[Kathy in Alaska]

December 16th.

[tomkow6]

NOPE!

[laurenmarlowe]

Thank you Tom for this hilarious thread, and the great Christmas music!

[kemathen7]

Thanks for the ping!


And THANK YOU to all our service men and women and their families - your sacrifice has not gone unnoticed. May God bless you all.

[JLO]

and sense!

[tomkow6]

Good evening, Lauren!

[laurenmarlowe]

Hi Tom! Was your birthday yesterday??? LOL!

[Kathy in Alaska]

[tomkow6]

NOPE!...Nor today, or tomorrow!

[tomkow6]

50!!!!!!!!!

[Fawnn]

Amazon is sold out of these. Did you buy 'em all!?

[tomkow6]

Ya gonna let me have a PERSONAL look at your WooHoos?????

[Fawnn]

tomkow6!!! #50!!!

[tomkow6]

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Great WooHoo!

Thank you!

(Has anybody told you that you have the BEST WooHoos in the Canteen????)

[uncleshag]

You'll do just fine in the Canteen!

LOL!

[Fawnn]

Suck up! ;)

I'm a linear person and I posted out of sequence -- just for you! Feel special!?

[windchime]

Bump!

[JLO]

Hia back!

[TASMANIANRED]

After the week I have had, That is not funny.

[SevenofNine]

Well Wash Post reporting that source claim that they been underground of Camp x-ray in Cuba claim that there is secret underground bunker that they take hard core Al Quada members

Also UK Telegraph reporting that because of today Brit Ruling in High court saying that prisoner held in Brit prison without benefit trial during emergency smackdown of alleged Al Quada members in UK during after Sept 11 maybe unconsiuttal

Report is Queen Elizabeth is not amused with her PM and US best Friend Tony Blair
SHUT UP BETTY

This might cause consiututal crisis vote for no confidence in House of Commons that how bad it is

Kydto news wire report that US dollar fell AGAIN against Japanese Yen in today early morning trading

Rack Rupert Murdoch leave to Drudge bring out Escape from New YOrk reset calling Rupe Duke of NY report that Murdoch bought NICEEEE NY crib 20 room 14 bathrooms

FOR 44 million jack according to Matt the Hat