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40 THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD
November 10, 2004 | Email World

Posted on 11/10/2004 10:42:14 AM PST by mattdono

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.

10. Ahhhh .... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connections between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be ....?

24. Do I look like a people person?

25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing & I still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed

30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic, and disorder .... my work here is done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.

39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

40. Oh I get it ... like humor ... but different


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: humor
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To: okkev68
You missed the very important Bandwidth Police.
81 posted on 11/10/2004 1:05:43 PM PST by Stonedog (Mr. Blather... tear down this STONEWALL!!)
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To: StarCMC

I love it!

FYI: I did a few church lady-style edits and put up a "safe to read aloud to the kids" version up at:

http://www.fawnn.com/jokes/pg/40things.html


82 posted on 11/10/2004 1:12:27 PM PST by Fawnn (Canteen wOOhOO Consultant and CookingWithPam.com person - Faith makes things possible, not easy.)
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To: mattdono

I hope that chronic case of diarrhea of the mouth doesnt leave you verbally dehydrated.


83 posted on 11/10/2004 1:18:04 PM PST by Big Red Clay (Greetings from the Big Red State)
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To: mattdono

I needed a humor break desperately. THANKS!


84 posted on 11/10/2004 1:24:22 PM PST by Paved Paradise
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To: mattdono

I needed a humor break desperately. THANKS!


85 posted on 11/10/2004 1:24:24 PM PST by Paved Paradise
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To: gregwest

86 posted on 11/10/2004 1:26:42 PM PST by Lady Jag (YAHOOO!!! W2!!!)
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To: mattdono

mark for later


87 posted on 11/10/2004 1:27:29 PM PST by Kozak (Anti Shahada: " There is no God named Allah, and Muhammed is his False Prophet")
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To: mattdono
Don't know where it came from, but...

"Those of you who think you know it all are a particular nuisance to those of us who do."
88 posted on 11/10/2004 1:50:44 PM PST by CPOSharky (JF'nK - The election is over, you lost, go back to work. On second thought, don't go back to work.)
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To: mattdono

bttt


89 posted on 11/10/2004 2:46:29 PM PST by TEXOKIE (Father in Heaven, take command of America and her Mission, her leaders, her people, and her troops!)
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To: okkev68

Where do the "police police" fit in?


90 posted on 11/10/2004 4:26:08 PM PST by Born to Conserve
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To: mattdono

I could have used a few of those on the last thread!


91 posted on 11/10/2004 7:20:08 PM PST by MEG33 ( Congratulations President Bush!..Thank you God. Four More Years!)
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To: SuperSonic

I've heard, "You must have hit the goal post really hard, did your helmet crack?


92 posted on 11/10/2004 9:30:56 PM PST by B4Ranch (A lack of alcohol in my coffee is forcing me to see reality!)
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To: eyespysomething; Pete-R-Bilt

ROTFLMAO!!


93 posted on 11/10/2004 9:34:24 PM PST by B4Ranch (A lack of alcohol in my coffee is forcing me to see reality!)
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To: SuperSonic; Pete-R-Bilt

ROTFLMAO!!

PRB-Which one made me laugh the longest and hardest?


94 posted on 11/10/2004 9:37:59 PM PST by B4Ranch (A lack of alcohol in my coffee is forcing me to see reality!)
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To: farmfriend

#48


95 posted on 11/10/2004 9:40:18 PM PST by B4Ranch (A lack of alcohol in my coffee is forcing me to see reality!)
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To: mattdono
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

I'll save this one for my 12 going on 13 year old.

96 posted on 11/10/2004 9:42:54 PM PST by Tuscaloosa Goldfinch (THANK YOU LORD FOR YOUR MERCY TO US!!)
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To: ImaTexan

ping


97 posted on 11/10/2004 9:48:33 PM PST by bjcintennessee (Don't Sweat the Small Stuff)
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To: B4Ranch

I read that earlier. you are too much.


98 posted on 11/10/2004 9:57:59 PM PST by farmfriend ( In Essentials, Unity...In Non-Essentials, Liberty...In All Things, Charity.)
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To: mattdono

Did you use a fire hose to put your perfume on?


99 posted on 11/11/2004 8:40:44 AM PST by tuffydoodle
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To: StarCMC

ROTFL!! Thank you for the ping!


100 posted on 11/11/2004 3:02:34 PM PST by Spotsy (Congratulations President Bush and Vice President Cheney!)
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