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40 THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD
November 10, 2004 | Email World

Posted on 11/10/2004 10:42:14 AM PST by mattdono

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.

10. Ahhhh .... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connections between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be ....?

24. Do I look like a people person?

25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing & I still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed

30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic, and disorder .... my work here is done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.

39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

40. Oh I get it ... like humor ... but different


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: humor
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To: b4its2late

Yes. I like it.


21 posted on 11/10/2004 10:49:51 AM PST by mattdono ("Crush the democrats, drive them before you, and hear the lamentations of the scumbags" -Big Arnie)
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To: maeng; ValerieUSA; txflake; WinOne4TheGipper; DrewsDad; HiJinx; MeekOneGOP; Gracey; anymouse; ...

Humor ping.....


22 posted on 11/10/2004 10:49:53 AM PST by Arrowhead1952 (****We won - - - you lost - - - - GET OVER IT!!****)
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To: mattdono
My personal favorite, though I rarely use it: "You obviously mistake me for someone who cares."

One I do use? When having recieved bad service (which is all too frequent), the clerk sometimes apologizes. I respond: "Oh, don't worry about it, I'm used to it." [They usually haven't figured it out until you've long since left their establishment.]

23 posted on 11/10/2004 10:49:56 AM PST by anniegetyourgun
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To: mattdono

See what I mean?


24 posted on 11/10/2004 10:50:17 AM PST by b4its2late (The Lord made man before woman to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.)
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To: mattdono

#43. It's been to let people think you're stupid than to open up your mouth and prove it. Right, Moron?


25 posted on 11/10/2004 10:50:39 AM PST by lilylangtree (Veni, Vidi, Vici)
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To: mattdono

See what I mean?


26 posted on 11/10/2004 10:50:48 AM PST by b4its2late (Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.)
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To: mattdono

And lastly (I got a bit carried away, I'd admit).


27 posted on 11/10/2004 10:52:08 AM PST by b4its2late (If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.)
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To: mattdono
My buddy here at work has a T-shirt that is pretty funny:
SELECT FROM users where clue is > 0
no rows returned

Funny to those of the SQL crowd...

28 posted on 11/10/2004 10:52:24 AM PST by akorahil (MSM is RIP)
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To: mattdono

Tom Arnold said it first, but "Hey, how 'bout a courtesy flush over there?"


29 posted on 11/10/2004 10:52:39 AM PST by brewcrew
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To: akorahil
Ahhh...geek humor. Nice. I definitely have an appreciation for that (see my profile page for a link to my company and you will understand why).
30 posted on 11/10/2004 10:54:03 AM PST by mattdono ("Crush the democrats, drive them before you, and hear the lamentations of the scumbags" -Big Arnie)
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To: Laura Earl

I always was partial to old #822:

"Pardon me, sir, but obviously you have mistaken me for soneone who gives a ShXX!"

Joy! ([: ^ )

RamS


31 posted on 11/10/2004 10:55:57 AM PST by RamingtonStall (Ride Hard and far! ..... and with GPS, Know where you are!)
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To: mattdono

"Vanity police" is the first step working your way up to "duplicate thread police" and finally the grandaddy of them all "Newbie Police".


32 posted on 11/10/2004 10:56:44 AM PST by okkev68
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To: Mr. Mojo

SHOVE IT! per Mrs. Kerry ;)


33 posted on 11/10/2004 10:57:54 AM PST by JFC ( President Bush, You are being prayed for along with our country daily, by millions of us.)
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To: mattdono

I like "So what's your point besides the top of your head?"

"You're the reason they invented Preparation H"

"Simon Says Go F*ck Yourself" (I had that on a tee shirt once, they kept kicking me out of school.)Oh well.


34 posted on 11/10/2004 11:01:36 AM PST by Jersey Republican Biker Chick (Never play leapfrog with a unicorn!)
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To: okkev68
...and finally the grandaddy of them all "Newbie Police".

Is that when the big bucks starting rolling in?

35 posted on 11/10/2004 11:01:44 AM PST by mattdono ("Crush the democrats, drive them before you, and hear the lamentations of the scumbags" -Big Arnie)
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To: Laura Earl

LOL


36 posted on 11/10/2004 11:02:27 AM PST by Conspiracy Guy (America Wins! Kerry and the loony left suffer bitter defeat. God Bless America.)
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To: mattdono

#41

Do you have to work hard at being this stupid,
or does it come naturally?

When the entries on the aforementioned list are
directed at liberals, it feels SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
good.

MV


37 posted on 11/10/2004 11:03:35 AM PST by madvlad ((Born in the south, raised around the globe and STILL republican))
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To: mattdono

43. You can lead a (L)user to information but you can't make them think.


38 posted on 11/10/2004 11:04:35 AM PST by TXBSAFH (Never underestimate the power of human stupidity--Robert Heinlein)
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To: brewcrew; drstevej; OrthodoxPresbyterian; CCWoody; Wrigley; Gamecock; Jean Chauvin; jboot; ...
Tom Arnold said it first, but "Hey, how 'bout a courtesy flush over there?"

Always loved that quote - have used it on FR at least once already.

Pinging the GRPL - it appears that someone has leaked portions of our codebook...

39 posted on 11/10/2004 11:05:04 AM PST by Alex Murphy (Psalm 73)
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To: mattdono

What has four legs and a liberal arm?

A very happy pit bull !!! ;-))


40 posted on 11/10/2004 11:06:27 AM PST by GeekDejure ( LOL = Liberals Obey Lucifer !!!)
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