Skip to comments.40 THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD
Posted on 11/10/2004 10:42:14 AM PST by mattdono
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.
10. Ahhhh .... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connections between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be ....?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing & I still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, and disorder .... my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
40. Oh I get it ... like humor ... but different
....right here on FR ;)
Laugh break bump and ping.
41. Excuse me, but your vanity is showing.
There are some great ones in that list.
Hmmm. I think my teenager needs this one. I shall borrow it.
[I tend to say exactly what I'm thinking, anyway, so some of these will be working their way into my conversations *real* soon]....;))
42. Oh no, don't worry about him, he's just the vanity police. [wink]
42. Welcome to the White House, President Tancredo.
Actually I say Number 9, virtually everday, everytime I am in CALIFORNIA.
#39 is good.
41. Your proctologist called. Your head is ready.
Actually, these and many others work well as taglines.....
I like this one.
41. Get this straight, FREEDOM isn't free; no, you can't use your credit card!
See what I mean?
I say these all the time.
42. Have you confused me with someone that gives a sh*t?
41. If you want a friend, get a dog.
42. This isn't Russia, you don't have to work here.
43. Will Rogers never met me.
44. When you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there.
See what I mean?
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