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Morford: This Man Touched My Parrot
San Francisco Chronicle ^
| August 20, 2004
| Mark Morford, the gerbil was not available for handling
Posted on 08/24/2004 6:56:43 AM PDT by presidio9
How good and refreshing and inspiring is it, in these war-drunk, anti-everything, BushCo-ravaged times, to discover a gem of pure unadulterated free-thinking humanity and funkiness and animal tenderness sitting just outside the teeming city walls? How life affirming and encouraging is it to stumble, quite randomly, quite unexpectedly, across what is probably the funniest, most caring, most quirky, most unexpected, most hugely popular, intensely local veterinarian in the entire Bay Area even though I can't verify that because I've only been to like, two, but I'm willing to risk saying it anyway?
I am here with an answer: It is very, very good indeed.
This is what happened. The S.O., she has this parrot. A brand-new parrot, actually, a beautiful, young African Grey, recently acquired from a breeder quite by accident and quite by unplanned revelation and by oh-my-God-what-the-hell-are-we-doing impulse purchase (I know, I know) at the San Francisco Bird Mart. But that's, as they say, another column.
So we realized that this bird, this new life addition, this madly wondrous, chirping, curious beast of the Congo, she needed a checkup. The breeder we purchased her from was fine and responsible and caring, but as every book and Web site says, find yourself a good vet ASAP and take the bird in anyway, just to make sure. Check the talons. Take a blood test. Kick the avian tires. That sort of thing. It's just good practice.
(Excerpt) Read more at sfgate.com ...
TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: aidsdementia; aidsgayplague; bushco; dowdismoreofaman; epluribussmokepot; formeranalvirgin; gerbilstuffer; godhatesfags; homosexual; iamagayamerican; idiotarian; ifeelprettyosopretty; leftist; liberal; lovelyplumage; mandatorybarfalert; mba; mcgreeveymorford08; moonbat; morford; mudpusher; norwegianblue; notoiletpaperneeded; parrotlisps; poofter; praytheresnogodmark; putdownthebong; putthebongdown; queer; rearendspoiler; rectalherniasrock; rentboy; romeoandromeo; rumsfeldfantasies; sandinhisvagina; sanfrancisco; selfloathingpervert; sitsdowntopee; sitzpinkler; supremecourt; syphillisdainbramage; talentlessfaggot; tapinghispackage; tenderloincrawler; thcaddledclown; thcdamage; worstpaidwriterinusa
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1
posted on
08/24/2004 6:56:43 AM PDT
by
presidio9
To: presidio9
"The S.O., she has this parrot."
Isn't he risking a loss of readership by pretending to be straight?
2
posted on
08/24/2004 6:58:54 AM PDT
by
Pete98
To: Slings and Arrows; TheBigB; Constitution Day; martin_fierro; Zavien Doombringer; ...
ping
3
posted on
08/24/2004 7:00:55 AM PDT
by
presidio9
(KHAAAAAAAANNNN!!! KHAAAAAAAANNNN!!!)
To: presidio9
Because oh my God how easy is it, in the days of bogus Orange Alerts and government sneers and lies about war and lies about gays and lies about the environment and lies about what it means to be a caring American, to become jaded, to think that everyone is trying to ream you, to pull one over, to overcharge and give biased or tainted advice, to be, by default, selfish and self-serving and bitter. This, right now, if you read the news or watch any BushCo press conference, seems to be the American way. Stream-of-insanity.
Plus, two uses of "BushCo" in the same article?
Get some new material, girl.
4
posted on
08/24/2004 7:07:19 AM PDT
by
Constitution Day
(...Reporting live from the Holy Barbecue City of Wilson, NC...)
To: Pete98
That was the first thing I noticed, but in San Francisco they reserve the right to use whatever gender pronouns they feel comfortable with, regardless of the biology. So it isn't clear. ;)
To: presidio9
Love the keywords. "SANDINHISVAGINA" LOL
6
posted on
08/24/2004 7:12:55 AM PDT
by
Petronski
(Sometimes I'm just too damned cranky.)
To: presidio9
This Man Touched My Parrot Is that a euphemism for what goes on between Morford and his anonymous "partners" every night at SF's various gay bars? I have to admit I couldn't read the article to find out what s/he really meant by the phrase, as his columns tend to bring on uncontrollable waves of retching, and I just didn't feel like cleaning and sanitizing the keyboard.
To: presidio9
Mark Morford must be pining for the fjords today.
8
posted on
08/24/2004 7:23:42 AM PDT
by
Loyalist
To: Loyalist
It's was a NOrwegian blue, beautiful plummage
9
posted on
08/24/2004 7:49:36 AM PDT
by
Zavien Doombringer
(I am not late for Zots, I have stealth Zot capability.....)
To: presidio9
10
posted on
08/24/2004 7:59:10 AM PDT
by
Zavien Doombringer
(I am not late for Zots, I have stealth Zot capability.....)
To: presidio9
To: harrycarey
"This parrot has ceased to be! It should be pushing up the daisies!"
12
posted on
08/24/2004 8:19:04 AM PDT
by
wbill
To: wbill
13
posted on
08/24/2004 8:26:06 AM PDT
by
Zavien Doombringer
(I am not late for Zots, I have stealth Zot capability.....)
To: harrycarey
C: Now that's what I call a dead parrot. O: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
C: STUNNED?!?
O: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up!
Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.
14
posted on
08/24/2004 8:31:12 AM PDT
by
Zavien Doombringer
(I am not late for Zots, I have stealth Zot capability.....)
To: Zavien Doombringer
"Shall we go back to my place, then?"
"I thought you'd never ask."
15
posted on
08/24/2004 8:32:14 AM PDT
by
wbill
To: presidio9
The S.O., she has this parrot. SHE?!?!?!!
Huh?
16
posted on
08/24/2004 8:38:09 AM PDT
by
B Knotts
To: presidio9
TAPINGHISPACKAGE ROFL
See, that's why I've said before, I mainly click on these threads to read the keywords!
17
posted on
08/24/2004 8:39:56 AM PDT
by
B Knotts
To: B Knotts
I'm guessing it was a new editor's first day on the job, poor soul.
To: B Knotts
Hey, it's San Francisco. Even the straight guys are a little light in the loafers.
19
posted on
08/24/2004 8:45:16 AM PDT
by
RichInOC
(Mark Morford is an ardent dog lover. He says so himself.)
To: Pete98
About as straight as Lombard Street.
20
posted on
08/24/2004 8:51:00 AM PDT
by
Old Professer
(If they win, it will be because we've become too soft.)
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