Posted on 08/03/2004 10:54:56 AM PDT by Pikamax
LOST FUMBLER If John Kerry loses Michigan, he will probably blame it on his joke writers, then Woody Hayes and the mighty Ohio State Buckeyes. But he only has himself to blame. He should have used that several-decade gap between his job in Vietnam and his job of running for president boning up on his knowledge of sports. The Prowler has documented several examples thus far, and over weekend Kerry really goofed up.
To get his Ohio rallies up and rolling, Kerry used a set of jokes to open his events. In Bowling Green, his shtick went something like this:
"If you elect me and my running mate, John Edwards, we are going to give you the courageous leadership you need. We'll take the tough positions, the courageous positions, the tough stands. But there's one tough position I will not take: I am not going to choose between the Falcons and the Rockets" -- this is a local reference to the well-known rivalry between Bowling Green University and the University of Toledo.
"I will say this," he added. "There is nothing better than Buckeye football, period!"
Kerry used this set piece several times in Ohio, to great effect, never mind the waffling with the generality of "Buckeye" football. Was he talking Ohio State University specifically? Or just football in the state in general? Only Kerry knows.
But then Kerry dug a huge hole for himself. On Sunday and into Monday, Kerry hit Michigan, where he attempted to use the same Ohio jokes. Clearly, the sports humor has to be taken out of his hands before he really embarrasses himself.
"I just came here from Bowling Green," Kerry told the crowd to subdued applause. "I was smart enough not to pick a choice between the Falcons and the, well, you know, all those other teams out there. I just go for Buckeye football, that's where I'm coming from."
At that point, before all the boos began raining down upon him, Kerry seemed to realize his error. In an attempt to silent the angry crowd of University of Michigan supporters, Kerry said, "But that was while I was in Ohio. I know I'm in the state of Michigan and you got a great big M and a powerhouse of a team." Then his face, presumably, the Botox permitting, turned Big Blue.
You bet ya. Have some great lyrics to meechigan's "Hail to the Victors", but this is a family forum.
I was thinking exactly the same thing. I've always said that if you were to sit me down with a blindfold in front of a bowl where you mixed up mud, cigarette butts and cheap beer, I could tell from the smell that I was in OREGON. go dawgs.
Brady's a Bush supporter, huh?
Outstanding.
Go Pats. After my beloved Giants, of course.
Unbelievable!
I'm a woman and I even know who the Buckeyes are! LOL!
Even if Kerry hadn't made the gaffe, he was still a phony in claiming to be a Buckeye fan. Just more shameless pandering from the Dems. Kerry's lucky he didn't say, "I've been a Buckeye fan since the glory days of Bo Schembechler."
As long as when he comes to Iowa he knows to bow down and worship The Hawkeyes!
Of course, that idiot probably has never heard of anything west of Ohio.
Go Hawks!
Woody in fatigues in Vietnam
Not surprisingly, Hayes strongly supported American participation in the Vietnam War. In 1968, having led the Buckeyes to a second national championship and victory in the Rose Bowl, Hayes went off to visit the troops in Vietnam.
Dr. Hayes taught as a professor of military history in his retirement (his specialty).
Ohio? He's probably never heard of anything west of the Boston-DC corridor.
Reports had it that he took the guys steaks.
True.
I knew I was being too easy on him.
The Big Ten is probably too much for his mind to handle.
You know, the same ad could also work in Ohio, too. Let Ohioans see that he'll say anything to anybody at anytime if he thinks it will get him somewhere. He's a fraud.
Kerry: "Ive been a fan of Buckeye football ever since the days of Eddie Yost."
Finally, sKerry is out on the road, opening mouth and inserting foot.
LOL!
Yep, praising Buckeye football in MI is like singing the praises of Duke's Coach K at mid-court of UNC's Dean Dome. Ya just don't do it if you expect to live!
Check this one out.
Buckeye: Hairless nut of no known value.
Can you honestly say this doesn't look like a testicle?
Dubya's toast.
We could have fun making an entire thread of these kind of imaginary bloopers. Here're a couple more:
"Folks, I am thrilled to be here in Auburn, Alabama. And like I always say, "Roll Tide!"
"Ladies and gentlemen, it is an honor to be here at the University of Florida. And if I'm elected President, my biggest thrill would be to ride out on Renegade and plant that flaming spear at midfield of your football stadium!"
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