Need Help From Freeper Females (vanity)

4/21/2004 | Jaysun

[Jaysun]

Some of the guys and I are presently at the camping lodge and we’ve got a problem that requires the help of a sensible woman. My brother-in-law managed to get something in his hair this morning, and he wanted to wash it out. I can’t tell you what that something was, because he’s refused to divulge that to us thus far (I suspect that he fabricated the “tainted hair” theory to save himself some embarrassment.)

My brother-in-law believes that his wife has, at some point, told him that peanut butter is a useful household hair cleaner / conditioner. His wife animately denied ever saying anything about peanut butter, and thinks that he must have confused it with mayonnaise. Anyway, this guy has gone from a docile gentlemen to a ranting idiot and he’s now in a state of full blown panic.

Please provide us with any suggestions that you may have for removing peanut butter from hair. If possible, we’d like to know of any “home remedies” that may work – we’re in a fairly remote location and nobody is willing to go to the store. Besides looking ridiculous, he smells horrible. Here’s what we’ve tried so far:

A) Tried to “melt” it away by pouring very hot water over his head. This basically resulted in mild burns to his neck and scalp.
B) Made a makeshift shower cap out of a Wal-Mart bag, taped it around his head to make it watertight, and poured beer in a small hole at the top. He let it soak for about an hour to no avail.

Anything that you can suggest would be most appreciated.

Jaysun

[Nita Nupress]

I wish that there was a way for me to "update" everyone in such a way that it was easily visible and accessible.

Don't worry about replying individually to all of us. You could spend the rest of the week at your computer if you keep this up. Just group them together and then address it to "All." Everyone else can take it from there.

That's how I would do it, anyway.

[TASMANIANRED]

"Orange seed up a baby's nose"

Make a wick with tp or a kleenex. Tickle the other nostril and evetually they will sneeze. It is a nasal Heimlich.

[reflecting]

In Orange Beach, (right next to Gulf Shores). You'll should all come down, bring your wives (for safety).

[4mycountry]

The guy who had this mishap might not be to thrilled to go down to a place with Orange in the name. Too many painful memories. :)

[Maigrey]

Laugh of the Month PING!!!!!!!!!!

[LowOiL]

This thread was the next best thing to reliving my old boyscout days. Ahhh, the memories, coldest month I can remember, cabin by the frozen lake. Having my head forced under water and it freezing the hair, icicles shoved in my sleeping bag, rats that attack your food supply all night long. Ahhh..

Send my best to your brother-in-law. These are precious memories, whether he knows it or not.

PS. I want on your picture ping list please. BTW... you might want to distort the face in the pictures a bit so your B.I.L has some pride left. No need to make him mad.

[LowOiL]

Huntsville

Ft. Payne...

[TASMANIANRED]

I was sitting at work in the Poison center, sneaking peaks at this tread inbetween calls. My coworkers thought I was nuts because I sat her giggling and they were clueless about what was going on.

I deal with this stuff all day long. This one was a classic.

If the origional substance was known it would have been a snap. Cornstarch or cornmeal to absorb the excess grease. Mayo as an emulisfier will displace the oil of the peanut butter and then follow with shampoo.

Short list . Mayonaise works on pepper spay, habanero peppers, mineral spirits, creosote, paint, on silicone resins except expandable foam. It will take just about anything off except freckls.

Never use solvents on the skin, this inclues acetone, nair, gasoline, kerosene, bleach, ..They disolve skin as well.

Use neosporin on the sore scalp and smile.

[Ulysses]

waiting for the pictures bump!

[Betteboop]

ping me too
BB

[theophilusscribe]

Jaysun, please ping me to the update and pictures! This was FABULOUS!! Thanks!!!!!

[Arpege92]

Try a dish detergent....Dawn or something like it. I'd put a large amount on the "peanut butter hair" and let it sit for a few minutes before washing it out. If it doesn't work, try it again.

[Jaysun]

That was the the best! Yes, you definitely need to put me on the ping list for the pictures! An orange combover... Maybe someone has said this already, but after all the chemicals his hair had in it, another coloring could have messed it up more. He could have wound up with hair the texture of corn silk and would have had to cut it off anyway! Y'all sure know how to live Life down there!

Thanks. I'll put you on the list.

I've been experiencing a unique dilemma on this thread. When someone compliments you on how much joy your idiocy has brought them, how do you respond? I mean, we're talking idiocy here. I've had people say things like, "LOL You guys are idiots. It's a wonder that you're still alive! Thanks for the laughs!" Isn't that, in fact, more of an insult than a compliment? Should I thank them for that? It's a unique situation don't you think?

WHOEVER: "LOL! You fruitcake! You don't know your arse from a hole in the ground. You need to start living in a bubble before you kill yourself or someone else. Thanks for the chuckles."

ME: Thanks!

I'm not inferring that you insulted me, or that anyone has insulted me on this thread. In fact, I've not been insulted once on this board. I'm not sensitive enough to be that lame. Quite the contrary, I've been laughing my ruby red ass off. Sorry if this is as incoherent and nonsensical as I think it is - you just happened to be the person that I was responding to when I got the urge to jot down this comical little bit of irony for the sake of posterity. I like jotting down little bits of "food for thought" once in a while. It could just be an early sign of schizophrenia. Nothing to worry about.

[Jaysun]

LOL! Where did you get that? Did you steal that from a refrigerator at an elementary school for the blind? I seriously think that I could piss a better rendition of a fight without breaking the stream. In fact, I think I'll go try now. HAHAHA!

[alnick]

I need to be on that ping list to see the pics. Thanks.

[Jaysun]

Has he read this thread yet? Does he know the commotion he caused? Does he even know what a "FReeper" is? LOL!

I'm really the only one that spends a decent amount of time on the computer here. I trade currencies and I like to keep an eye on them. I shift between FR and my account. They all know what a Freeper is.

I'm not sure if I want to tell him what a stir his ignorance has caused. First, it could embarrass him. Second, he still considers himself "famous" because he was a member of a team of 5 (I think it's 5) that won a local bowling tournament in 1997. The tournament didn't even cover the whole city - the entire contest started and ended in a single night at one bowling alley. I just don't know if I want to open that can of worms.

[Jaysun]

Added you to the picture ping list.

[Jaysun]

Don't worry about replying individually to all of us. You could spend the rest of the week at your computer if you keep this up. Just group them together and then address it to "All." Everyone else can take it from there. That's how I would do it, anyway.

Good. I did address the other updates to "ALL" but I wasn't sure if that actually works or not. Thanks.

[Jaysun]

In Orange Beach, (right next to Gulf Shores). You'll should all come down, bring your wives (for safety).

LOL. For reasons that I shouldn't have to explain, they refuse to take road trips with us. I think that they've got a disaster plan in place in which they basically weld the door shut on us, allow our sub to sink to the bottom, and wait for us to run out of oxygen. Of course, we have somewhat of a plan to albeit it more individualized. We've decided that we didn't work our asses off just to die and have some schmuck marry our wives and spend all of our money. Nope. When we get ready to die we're simply going to shoot our wives right before we go. LOL!!

[I got the rope]

Any oil will do the trick. No...I'm not a woman, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn last night.