Need Help From Freeper Females (vanity)

4/21/2004 | Jaysun

[Jaysun]

Some of the guys and I are presently at the camping lodge and we’ve got a problem that requires the help of a sensible woman. My brother-in-law managed to get something in his hair this morning, and he wanted to wash it out. I can’t tell you what that something was, because he’s refused to divulge that to us thus far (I suspect that he fabricated the “tainted hair” theory to save himself some embarrassment.)

My brother-in-law believes that his wife has, at some point, told him that peanut butter is a useful household hair cleaner / conditioner. His wife animately denied ever saying anything about peanut butter, and thinks that he must have confused it with mayonnaise. Anyway, this guy has gone from a docile gentlemen to a ranting idiot and he’s now in a state of full blown panic.

Please provide us with any suggestions that you may have for removing peanut butter from hair. If possible, we’d like to know of any “home remedies” that may work – we’re in a fairly remote location and nobody is willing to go to the store. Besides looking ridiculous, he smells horrible. Here’s what we’ve tried so far:

A) Tried to “melt” it away by pouring very hot water over his head. This basically resulted in mild burns to his neck and scalp.
B) Made a makeshift shower cap out of a Wal-Mart bag, taped it around his head to make it watertight, and poured beer in a small hole at the top. He let it soak for about an hour to no avail.

Anything that you can suggest would be most appreciated.

Jaysun

[Jaysun]

B-I-L is short for Brother-In-Law. As to permanent baldness, I really don't know but I suspect it is one possible outcome. Your B-I-L's psyche might not be up to handling that truth right now. I suggest someone make a beer run into town and maybe pick up something a little stronger for your bald bud. Tell him if he doesn't want to drink it, he can always put it on his head. And, oh yes, take down all the mirrors.

Brother-in-law! Of course, how stupid of me! I'm not to worried about his psyche. Luckily, this was traumatic enough to be beneficial - because he appears to already be blocking this out of his conscience mind. He seems confused when we ask him questions about his experience. He's stopped drooling and he's no longer in the fetal position. We think that he'll be good as new in a few more hours.

[hellinahandcart]

His follicles are probably fine.

His scalp is a different matter. LOL

[Jaysun]

On the plus side, remember that commercial about DHT - Di-Hydrogen-Testosterone - buildup being the cause of MPB - male pattern baldness? (Sorry, this BIL thing has me in acronym mode now) Perhaps you all have burned off whatever DHT residue there was along with the top few layers of skin and he will grow hair like there is no tomorrow! Use this to give hope if he looks suicidal!!!

BTW, when you were anointing his head with the various potions, did anyone say "ana-cana-panican"? You all sound like a 3-stooges crowd.

Finally, if for some strange reason there IS renewed hair growth, try conning another friend with MPB to come on another trip so you can apply the cure! Make him rent the cabin and supply the beer.

We've been discussing ways to exploit his misery for financial gain for hours now. The hair growth thing is a great idea. One of the guys just mentioned that grass grows back like a welfare Dad on a Viagra feedbag if you burn it to a crisp. Essentially, we burnt his head to a crisp so we'll see what happens. Of course if his hair does grow back in force we won't know exactly what did it. We couldn't risk skipping a step, so we'd have to convince people to pay us to get drunk, smear 3/4 a jar of peanut butter into their hair, and then chase them around and dump a series of dangerous chemicals on their head for several hours. Hell, it could work. Now all we have to do is establish a reasonable fee and wait for his hair to grow in.

[4mycountry]

I want on that ping list!! :)

BOTH the lemon juice and the hydrogen peroxide turned his hair orange. Lemon juice will bleach hair yellow, and h-p will turn it red. Red + yellow = ORANGE!

[tiamat]

No kidding!

I about busted a gut laughing!

thanks for the ping!

[NYC GOP Chick]

And I wasn't responsible for even one. :D

I was! ;D

[4mycountry]

ROTFLMBO

Thanks for the ping, Prout!

How do you always manage to find the best threads? :]

[abner]

I must be pinged to the photos. Thanks.

[Auntbee]

I have to see those pictures,too.

[Shooter 2.5]

I lost track of all the solutions you have tried. Is there any way you can list the efforts?

Please put me on your ping list for the pictures.

[abner]

I lost track of all the solutions you have tried. Is there any way you can list the efforts?

This whole ordeal could be its own web site.

www.5guysinacabin.com or www.peanutbuttercombover.com

[Toespi]

Busted!

[Constitution Day]

Hah! I knew it.

[hellinahandcart]

Okay, I remember scalding hot water, beer, WD-40, baking soda, diesel fuel, Coleman fuel, lemon juice, hydrogen peroxide and Dawn.

[Jaysun]

BOTH the lemon juice and the hydrogen peroxide turned his hair orange. Lemon juice will bleach hair yellow, and h-p will turn it red. Red + yellow = ORANGE!

That's interesting stuff. Thanks. The poor putz has been beating himself up over his decision to use the h-p. Maybe it'll make him feel better to know that he would have been screwed either way. I'll put you on the ping list.

[Shooter 2.5]

Gees, that looks like a keyword list.

I think this reminds me why I don't drink.

[Lady Jag]

A toast to Meek and Jaysun. I'm always good for a beer.

[Jaysun]

I'll put you on the ping list.

[Eva]

I love it. Are you serious? Try the dishwashing liquid. It that doesn't work, shave his head.

[Jaysun]

I lost track of all the solutions you have tried. Is there any way you can list the efforts? Please put me on your ping list for the pictures.

Sure. Go to post # 463
I'll add you to the list.