Need Help From Freeper Females (vanity)

4/21/2004 | Jaysun

[Jaysun]

Some of the guys and I are presently at the camping lodge and we’ve got a problem that requires the help of a sensible woman. My brother-in-law managed to get something in his hair this morning, and he wanted to wash it out. I can’t tell you what that something was, because he’s refused to divulge that to us thus far (I suspect that he fabricated the “tainted hair” theory to save himself some embarrassment.)

My brother-in-law believes that his wife has, at some point, told him that peanut butter is a useful household hair cleaner / conditioner. His wife animately denied ever saying anything about peanut butter, and thinks that he must have confused it with mayonnaise. Anyway, this guy has gone from a docile gentlemen to a ranting idiot and he’s now in a state of full blown panic.

Please provide us with any suggestions that you may have for removing peanut butter from hair. If possible, we’d like to know of any “home remedies” that may work – we’re in a fairly remote location and nobody is willing to go to the store. Besides looking ridiculous, he smells horrible. Here’s what we’ve tried so far:

A) Tried to “melt” it away by pouring very hot water over his head. This basically resulted in mild burns to his neck and scalp.
B) Made a makeshift shower cap out of a Wal-Mart bag, taped it around his head to make it watertight, and poured beer in a small hole at the top. He let it soak for about an hour to no avail.

Anything that you can suggest would be most appreciated.

Jaysun

[Tribune7]

Something else to consider: Crazy Glue.

[Senator Pardek]

Did you try energine or a gasoline based rinse.

You sound like a gay robot hairstylist.

[Iowa Granny]

Jaysun - member since Dec 3, 2003.

The following is copied and pasted from his home page:

My wife stays at home and takes care of the house and children. That’s the way that we both wanted it (for our kids sake). I’m also the “boss” at home. Not because I like to rule over my wife, or feel that she’s less than me, but because we both agreed that such an arrangement is best to avoid needless arguments. I take my whole family to church every Sunday. I teach my children that life isn’t fair and that they can either wise up to that and do their best, or they can whine and fight and fail. I spank my children when necessary. They do not disrespect me, my wife, their teachers, or anyone else for that matter. I own two guns. If someone came into my house to do harm to my family, they’d quickly find themselves lying on the floor with a sizable hole somewhere in their body. I believe that part of what makes America great is knowing that my children have the opportunity to become anything they want (even wealthy). I love America because it affords us all an equal opportunity. I do not believe that people who succeed should be sneered at or punished in any way.

[Dan from Michigan]

They guy who wrote those movies went to one of our rival high schools. Trust me, all that crap happened.

Must be a West Michigan thing....:)

We just had one of our football players(not me) get caught up in a curtain that seperates the gym during one of the Weights Classes....."Coach! Coach!"

[ride the whirlwind]

"Free Willy"

Groan.....LOL

[NYC GOP Chick]

And I'm glad that I do! :)

[Nexus6]

Whoa!...that's frightening.

I'd say your best bet at this point is an aerosol can with something highly flammable in it and a bic lighter. Be sure to cover the part of his head that does not need to be exposed with a protective barrier (maybe aluminum foil).

[Gabz]

Maybe one less beer in the hair or hand or wherever and he would have realized how much entertainment he would be providing.

You've got that right.......because instead of turning of the computer and lights.....I went and got another beer!!!

[CholeraJoe]

Holy Cr*p! How did I miss that one? I was a biology major in college and still an avid outdoorsman and could have helped. August 2002? Musta been out of town on business, while my soon-to-be ex-wife was banging her coworker.

[King Prout]

he forgot the vital final step, obviously: he needed to wait till they ran up to the tips of the hair fleeing the flames, and then pick 'em off with a shotgun.

[Nita Nupress]

marking spot

Don't say that too loudly. Jaysun's friend might want to do the same and come pee on the thread.

[Senator Pardek]

Good God, no. I've known you for almost 6 years (scary!), and I've always assumed you thought I had half a brain.

[King Prout]

Gus? or Bender?

[Tribune7]

One night when my youngest was about 1 1/2 he decided that he wanted some applesauce. So he got out the Costco sized applesauce jar and spread all over the wall, the rocking chair, our black lab puppy, and end table and I forget what else.

Kids and brothers-in-laws. What more can be said? :-)

[socal_parrot]

aerosol can with something highly flammable in it and a bic lighter

Mmmm...fire good!

[July 4th]

There was a story about that here a while back. Some woman ended up roasting her kid because she didn't want to hurt their hair.

[SCalGal]

Do any of you guys have a cordless drill and a wire brush wheel attachment?

You owe me a keyboard.

[abner]

You've got that right.......because instead of turning of the computer and lights.....I went and got another beer!!!

Whatever you do, don't put any unknown (or known for that matter) in your hair.

[King Prout]

classic thread in the making

[visualops]

There's Something About Jaysun's B-I-L ping