Need Help From Freeper Females (vanity)

4/21/2004 | Jaysun

[Jaysun]

Some of the guys and I are presently at the camping lodge and we’ve got a problem that requires the help of a sensible woman. My brother-in-law managed to get something in his hair this morning, and he wanted to wash it out. I can’t tell you what that something was, because he’s refused to divulge that to us thus far (I suspect that he fabricated the “tainted hair” theory to save himself some embarrassment.)

My brother-in-law believes that his wife has, at some point, told him that peanut butter is a useful household hair cleaner / conditioner. His wife animately denied ever saying anything about peanut butter, and thinks that he must have confused it with mayonnaise. Anyway, this guy has gone from a docile gentlemen to a ranting idiot and he’s now in a state of full blown panic.

Please provide us with any suggestions that you may have for removing peanut butter from hair. If possible, we’d like to know of any “home remedies” that may work – we’re in a fairly remote location and nobody is willing to go to the store. Besides looking ridiculous, he smells horrible. Here’s what we’ve tried so far:

A) Tried to “melt” it away by pouring very hot water over his head. This basically resulted in mild burns to his neck and scalp.
B) Made a makeshift shower cap out of a Wal-Mart bag, taped it around his head to make it watertight, and poured beer in a small hole at the top. He let it soak for about an hour to no avail.

Anything that you can suggest would be most appreciated.

Jaysun

[bitt]

best skunk-ed remedy is:

shampoo (or in your case, anything that suds)
peroxide
baking soda

shake it up and pour it on. It burns the skin slightly, so get it out quick. With the peroxide, you don't want to have it sitting there for too long...or you will have orange hair...LOL

[Senator Pardek]

How far has your begging me gotten you to this point?

[getmeouttaPalmBeachCounty_FL]

It is taking everything I have to keep from peeing in my chair, I am laughing so darn hard!!

[DarthFuzball]

Do any of you guys have a cordless drill and a wire brush wheel attachment?

[NYC GOP Chick]

Now how to remove duct tape from the head...

With peanut butter, of course!

[RosieCotton]

Now how to remove duct tape from the head...

I think that's where the WD-40 comes in.

[Nita Nupress]

Has anyone suggested Gasoline, I hear that will cut anything.........

No, no, no... They're all three sheets to the wind. Someone in Hoot-n-Holler, Texas would hear a big ka-boom if they tried that.

[NonValueAdded]

If you like this thread, there is another real-life companion piece here: Senator's Wife Charged With Assault (Baucus's (D) wife, friend of Saddam). I haven't laughed so hard since I discovered Dave Barry's cache of back articles.

[XHogPilot]

Have you tried Easy-Off Oven Cleaner yet? It's great for removing axle grease and even cosmoline. Peanut butter should be no problem at all...< /sarcasm>

[abner]

Howdy to you too.

We will be in El Paso over Memorial Day with America One.

For the rest of our schedule- www.usflagballoon.com/events.htm

[TexasCowboy]

The only way to be sure:

[theophilusscribe]

LOL! I like this one:

"If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy."

Too funny!

[Igraine]

Get a fine-toothed comb and comb out as much of the gunk as possible. Then take some paper towels or toilet paper and rub it into the affected hairs. Keep rubbing until the paper no longer picks up much grease. Wet the area and add a good squirt of dishwashing liquid or laundry detergent or whatever like that you have. Rub it in well and rinse well. Repeat. Dry head. Take three aspirin and go to bed before you cause any more damage.

[small voice in the wilderness]

LOL! They're outside, pencils in hand, "writing" their names in the dirt. Except for Jaysun's friend, of course, who probably has both of his hands stuck to the sides of his head, in that "Oh crap, whatta I do now" position.

[RosieCotton]

Have you tried Easy-Off Oven Cleaner yet? It's great for removing axle grease and even cosmoline. Peanut butter should be no problem at all...< /sarcasm>

Yeah...that Nair stuff is for SISSIES, man.

[wimpycat]

Yeah, dishwashing liquid is probably the only thing they can be trusted with...although I have visions of them screwing even that up and getting some of it in the guy's eyes.

[Drango]

and poured beer in a small hole at the top

Damm. You're not serious are you? What a waste,,,

DRINK the beer and who cares about the hair...

[hosepipe]

[ No, no, no, WD-40, then duct tape, then shampoo.]

Dust tape won't stick to peanut butter. But you can bundle all the beer cans up in nice packages.

[OldFriend]

Yup, Dawn dishwashing detergent.

DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT USE DISHWASHER DETERGENT

[Nita Nupress]

LOL!! The McGyver Cabin. They've got a plan. It includes a midget, a small cannon, and a jar of peanut butter.

ROTFLOL! I'm dyin' here. My husband's just staring at me...