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Second-Hand Gas Kills 130,000 Americans a Year -
Yahoo.com ^
| October 20, 2003
Posted on 10/21/2003 9:54:43 AM PDT by UnklGene
Second-Hand Gas Kills 130,000 Americans a Year
Monday October 20, 2003
Federal health officials are expected to soon issue a report warning the public about the dangers of second-hand gas. Human gas, that is.
"Second-hand gas, if inhaled on a regular basis, can cause headache, irritated eyes, emphysema, asthma, bronchitis and in many cases, heart attack," says a physician with ties to the Centers for Disease Control.
"Each year, approximately 130,000 Americans die from second-hand gas -- and many others suffer serious ailments as a result of long-term exposure.
"Gas-passers and non-gas-passers alike must realize the extent to which breaking wind -- commonly called 'farting' -- damages everyone's health."
According to the soon-to-be-released CDC report, each year second-hand gas causes:
800 heart attacks 250 strokes 30,000 asthma attacks 50,000 cases of earache Due to poor dietary habits, there is now an "epidemic" of flatulence in America, the report warns. The average American produces a staggering three pints of gas and breaks wind 14 to 23 times daily.
TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: pufflist
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To: Gabz
I have to go brown some meat for the pot of chili I'm making. I've already got the beans done - so I guess dinner in this house will be contributing to these totals tonight!!!!
Funny that you should mention - I also have a big pot of Chili, chock full of beans, various peppers, and other herbs and spices simmering on the stove even as we speak.
Death to the infidels!!!!!
Chili Uber Allas!!!!!
101
posted on
10/21/2003 11:59:49 AM PDT
by
meyer
To: Johnny Gage
FMCDBHeh Heh! I wonder how many will notice...
102
posted on
10/21/2003 12:03:43 PM PDT
by
meyer
To: JoeSixPack1
Southern Rules require "ignition". I stand corrected. Perhaps I was thinking of Western Rules.
103
posted on
10/21/2003 12:08:55 PM PDT
by
Bloody Sam Roberts
(The function of socialism is to raise suffering to a higher level.)
To: JulieRNR21
Check out post #27. $;-)
104
posted on
10/21/2003 12:21:12 PM PDT
by
Joe Brower
("If you need a lawyer to tell you what your rights are, you don't have any rights.")
To: UnklGene
this will not stop me from eating White Castles, aka maggott muffins, aka gut-bombs.
106
posted on
10/21/2003 12:36:28 PM PDT
by
isom35
To: Xenalyte; Bacon Man; ErnBatavia
OK, this is the most hilarious article with subsequent thread comments I've seen in quite a while.
I can't stop laughing...
107
posted on
10/21/2003 12:46:33 PM PDT
by
Allegra
(There is no tagline within 100 miles of here! -Baghdad Bob)
To: Flyer; humblegunner
Since we got pinged to a thread about toilets last week, I figure why not sink down another notch?
108
posted on
10/21/2003 12:51:40 PM PDT
by
Allegra
(There is no tagline within 100 miles of here! -Baghdad Bob)
To: Allegra
I saw this thread earlier and ran away from it - but I
knew I would get a ping to it.
Next week let's do belching!
109
posted on
10/21/2003 12:53:59 PM PDT
by
Flyer
(You get more with a smile, a kind word and a gun than with a smile and a kind word)
To: IGOTMINE
Cherries and baloney ping
To: Allegra
Bump for home enjoyment!
111
posted on
10/21/2003 1:18:07 PM PDT
by
ErnBatavia
(Why do the Flag postage stamps peel off upside down..infiltrators?)
To: CSM; Gabz; SheLion
112
posted on
10/21/2003 1:51:49 PM PDT
by
Conspiracy Guy
(Taglines are for the curious to read and the talented to write. Would someone write me one?)
To: Bloody Sam Roberts
Each year, approximately 130,000 Americans die from second-hand gasThose gas bags in the non-presidential debates, got some splainin to do!!!
113
posted on
10/21/2003 2:11:06 PM PDT
by
bray
( Old Glory Stands for Freedom)
To: RightWhale
Why can't we just get a tube and deliver the "fuel' directly to the engine? We will be free of foreign oil!
To: UnklGene
115
posted on
10/21/2003 2:21:36 PM PDT
by
PigRigger
(Send donations to http://www.AdoptAPlatoon.org)
To: SheLion; faking flatulence
LOL ! See this other screen name here ? Among the dearly departed here on FR. Posted a ZOT thread, and he blew up REAL good too ! ...
Is This What A Troll Looks Like?
116
posted on
10/21/2003 2:22:08 PM PDT
by
MeekOneGOP
(Check out the Texas Chicken D 'RATS!: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/keyword/Redistricting)
To: sheik yerbouty
Corn will clog the injectors.
117
posted on
10/21/2003 2:23:00 PM PDT
by
RightWhale
(Repeal the Law of the Excluded Middle)
To: UnklGene
There has got to be some liberal right now freaking out.
118
posted on
10/21/2003 2:27:22 PM PDT
by
Porterville
(Liberal scum, lick my boot.)
To: TomServo
You must be in the South if you're eating Krystals.
To: dljordan
You must be in the South if you're eating Krystals.Oh yeah...:-)
120
posted on
10/21/2003 2:32:54 PM PDT
by
TomServo
("Steve's dead now. From here on, Steve's death will be represented by the oboe.")
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